Hi everyone,

I am new to this whole game. A little background on me - I had a girlfriend many years ago, didnt work out, she broke up with me...and i was in a mess. got over it, but have been so anti-social that i have met like 5 new girls since and they are all just through friends. so thats like 5 girls in 3 years! pathetic i know!!

so i dont have many friends, and my real intentions here are not to be sleeping with many women. I really just want a really good social life..many friends..guys AND especially girls. just having a social life would be great. interacting with plenty of women. I thought starting out with this stuff would be the best way.

So i went out with a friend and tried to approach tonight. Man, biggest approach anxiety ever. I managed to approach a group of girls in the mall all wearing some charity outfit, just asked them what the deal was with the outfit. THen i approached a set of two girls at the bar because i happened to be near them for ages so i just asked a question about a mates ex....but i couldnt take it fro m there. all i could talk about was that so i said thanks and left it.

saw so many girls out, coudlnt approach any. I cant even go up and say "hey your beautiful". i know your not suppose to say that, because every other guy does. But HOW does every other have the guts to even ask that? thats worse than opening with a question about an ex.

I want to be more confident. when i approached the girls my voice was terrible, i was nervous and in a wreck. Is there any sources i can look at for conquering this? I would like to have some girlfriends....and eventually...not be single 4 life! thanks!!

just take baby steps, start out by going out and saying hi while smiling and looking at girls in the eye

they dont have to be attractive at first, but keep challenging yourself

another thing is you need to be more positive, dont call yourself or your friend situation pathetic

most people only have a few close friends anyway

dont take things personally, and just try to amuse yourself and have fun with it

it is not the fear that makes you unable to aproach,
it is your fear of fear.

yes you have aproach fear, evry1 has it. know that evry1 has it.
the thing is, how do i deal with that fear?
wel, embrace it. know its there and just make peace with it.

make your valiue higher than here's. and dont expect anything.
just expect a normal confersation, what is there to fear about a normal confersation? you dont fear it when you are at work, or in class or wathever.
the fear does not exist, it is an idea.
make peace with that idea and you wil overcome that idea

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Geen Gezeur, Gewoon Gaan!

I hear you. The thing about approach anxiety (AA) is that it's not really related to your PUA-ness. It's something that may decrease as you get more experience, but it's also something to work through. The approaches that count are the ones that challenge you. So in a way, you're in a VERY good place, because everything you do will likely challenge you. And challenge = growth.

Also, curiosity is what will get you over. My mindset now is to try and find the most interesting/personal information I can from a person I approach. The curiosity pushes me through the fear. Happy hunting!

-H!j!nx

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"Thinking outside the box, that's how you get what you've never gotten."

I'm new too, but this thread might help: the-newbie-mission-vt41556.html

I posted my experiences in that thread. The main thing is to just make eye contact, smile, and say "Hi". Don't try for any openers or anything like that yet, just say Hi for a few days until your anxiety fades.

Steps to get rid of AA

1) Your motto is "You only live once" say it then repeat it and again and again until you know by heart that you only live once and therefor will seize every opportunity.

2) 3 second rule, there's no time for AA when you apply this.