I hear about this book constantly from people, yet I haven't had the opportunity to get around to reading it yet. I must see if they have it on audiobook!

Thank you Verity for expressing your feelings about your relationship having improved and brought you closer as a result of the lack of monogamy!!

I have found that the poly people I interact with end up being capable of so much deeper emotional interactions with myself and others as a result of a lack of the boundaries and barriers that humans impose on themselves in order to prevent themselves from being hurt as a result of the violations that can occur in monogamy. This has nothing to do with wanting to fuck everyone under the sun, this is a matter of opening oneself to the natural feelings and happenings that occur within life without imposing rules that lead to personal dissatisfaction.

Having sex with many people isn't the real goal at the heart of truly polyamorous people; what we crave is the ability to openly express our deepest feelings with others and have them do so with us. According to Osho in From Sex to Superconsciousness (a truly fantastic read that I cannot recommend enough!) the human race is only so obsessed with sex as a result of our making it a taboo and something that we don't openly discuss and accept as a natural part of our lives. By allowing oneself to enjoy the deep...I have no other word for it than spiritual...essence of sexual intimacy with another person who there is attraction towards, we overcome the inner conflicts and complications that develop by denying the truth of these feelings.

Having engaged in this transformation of perspective and continuing to overcome any feelings that arise and delving into the deepest corners of my consciousness and how these things relate to my entire life and how I project and perceive myself, I have gained a deep deep sense of inner peace and understanding of myself that I had spent years searching for in so many other places. At this point I am happy to sit with a girl and exchange massages, to be close, to talk about our thoughts and feelings, without any expectation or motivation towards having sex together. I haven't surpassed those desires; I haven't given them up, nor do I not think of the joys of what we would experience together in a sexual sense, but aside from the physical pleasure involved I wouldn't really gain anything by having sex that I cannot gain in those moments together without having sex.

Osho claims that as humans we hunger for sex for 2 reasons; the curiosity of that which we were never allowed to understand and appreciate in ourselves and each other openly and freely without shame; and the state of Samadhi - the state of No-Mind that occurs for only a few moments briefly after reaching orgasm. We seek the understanding and knowledge about sex just as we seek understanding of all things in life, yet through our suppression and shameful feelings towards it we have created perversion and pornographic content out of something that is the direct source of all life in the Universe. Man has yet to figure out how to create life, to create consciousness and yet this act of sex allows it to spring into being out of nothingness at all. Secondly we seek the state of bliss where we have no thought of Time or Self, when we are truly at peace and are purely in the here and now, that moment directly after achieving orgasm with another and that doesn't occur nearly as profoundly by oneself.

That same state of No-Mind can be reached through many other means though. Listen to Eckhart Tolle and you will notice that he mentions it many times in his various audio programs (seriously ditch the books and LISTEN to him talk, LISTEN to the wisdom and the feelings that pour out of his state of consciousness and you will begin to feel and appreciate these things that I speak of). Many people spend much time in quiet meditating in order to achieve this state, although it can be reached through so many active means of being and living that can also be considered meditative. For me writing and speaking of these things is perhaps the easiest way for me to achieve the state and instantly stop thinking and just allow myself to be and have consciousness flow through me; hence why I have spent so much time on this forum doing such. That's why I enjoy spending time in closeness with other men and women who are open and desire to discuss the matters because I get the same feelings.

When I become close with a woman and we express these things to each other, then there is no need to engage in sex for that gratification, yet it is an openly loving and since I do it with multiple people and don't reserve it for simply one woman, that makes it polyamorous whether or not I engage in sex with them. Sex is enjoyable and a means of spiritual and physical expression that gives pleasure and joy to both of us, so sometimes we do that as well, yet the craving for it and the need for it is slowly dissipating from my being the more and more I allow myself to feel this way. At this point the only reason I can believe that I desire to have sex is out of the curiosity and desire for knowledge and experience that I was never allowed to openly receive. The more I experience the various sexual things I desire to know though, the more my craving for sex fades away and all that I am left with is love without a need to make it physical in order to express it.

In my mind, this is what lies at the deepest heart of Polyamory - even for those who have not realised that is what they seek by engaging in it. This is what Osho, Johnny Soporno, Sean Messenger, David Deida, Eckhart Tolle, myself and many others consider to be the area in which we need to focus our attention and our efforts to expand ourselves in order to advance into the next stage of Human consciousness. This is the cutting edge of personal growth and spiritual enlightenment. This is where everlasting happiness and inner peace are buried awaiting your search to uncover them and make them yours.

I don't claim this is the truth. I merely claim that this is what some of the worlds most renowned experts in the areas of interpersonal relations, happiness, enlightenment, spirituality, personal growth and sexuality have all intersected and come to points of agreement with one another. I don't claim that any of these teachings are new; truly anyone who claims that anything is entirely new and unique unto itself is naive and deluded as to the nature of knowledge and information in the Universe. Ask yourself though, if something isn't new and it is ancient teachings, or even more recent teachings, that have been refined, rephrased and expressed in terms that are understandable and recognizable as truths and wisdom in this modern age, does that make them less valid because they are recycled, or more valid because they are supported by the various disciplines in cultures around the world throughout recorded history? Personally I would have to support the latter, as I feel anything that has been corroborated has much more value than something that stands alone in opposition to everything else.

If you have taken the time to fully read and appreciate my words to this point I thank you for keeping an open mind and I am happy to discuss, although not debate nor argue over the matters I have spoken of.

~ Rye

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I haven't yet found it in audiobook format, but if you'd like to hear Dossie talking about her ideas and concepts in a podcast interview, which goes over some of the main points and ideas brought up in the book. It's a good chance to get to know who she is and where she's coming from, before diving into the book. This being said, no replacement for the book itself.

personallifemedia. com/podcasts/222-sex-love-and-intimacy/episodes/48555-dossie-easton-ethical/play/

One of the aspects of my relationship that surprised me was that when we started having sex with other people, the communication between us was one of the most fun things about it. I found myself thinking "I can't wait to get back and tell my partner all about this!" We've had some good laughs together about sex, and discovered important things about ourselves together through our adventures. We've also both learned tricks from other people, that we were able to incorporate into our own lovemaking. It's a really reassuring feeling to know that nothing you do in good fun with another will hurt your lover's feelings. I agree with you completely Rye, the reason we got into it in the first place wasn't so that we could necessarily go around fucking lots of people, but to feel we had the option of doing acting upon our feelings- indeed, opening oneself to the natural feelings and happenings that occur. This can help eliminate any feelings of being trapped or stagnant in a relationship or within yourself.

Whether or not you decide to get into polyamory of any kind, I think it's really important to have a good sense of communication with your partner about boundaries. Is it okay to look at other people? Flirt with them? Kiss other women or men? It can be all too easy to have assumptions about what is cheating or hurtful, and those same assumptions might not be held by the other person.

I find the comments from the anti-polyamory people rather strange. There seems to be this idea that polyamorous people all go around secretly sleeping around with multiple partners.

I can't speak for anyone else, but in my own relationship, it's quite the opposite. When me and my long-term girlfriend decided to create an open relationship, it required extreme communication. We both sat down and talked about our insecurities regarding the situation and how we felt about it, and decided we wanted to try it.

When I had my first sexual experience with a woman that was not my girlfriend, I talked to my girlfriend immensely about the situation before-hand, up to a couple hours before we actually had sex. Conversely, I have always made it quite clear WELL IN ADVANCE to any girl I sleep with, that I am in a committed relationship with another woman.

This degree of communication is why I believe our relationship works. The degree of freedom I feel with my girlfriend has brought me so much closer to her. In previous relationships, no matter how I felt about my current lover, I still always felt attraction to other females, and this was not something I felt I could acknowledge, for fear of making my lover insecure or jealous. This is not a problem in my current relationship. It's quite liberating and fun to go out clubbing with my girlfriend, and see who can get more numbers that night. :p

The thing I find rather interesting about all of this, is that I do not consider myself an overly sexual person, nor have I ever. I always had a very strong control over my sex drive, and I generally don't have much of an appetite for it. Most of my friends find it absolutely bizarre that I'm in an open relationship, as they always pegged me as the "monogamous, marry young" type of guy.

Quite frankly, I'd actually say the physical act of sex of my least favorite part of exploring sexual relationships with other people. My favorite part is the conversations you have right after sex. People, in general, have multiple facets to their personalities, and they only show certain sides to certain people. I find that having sex with someone creates a special bond between you and that person, and all sorts of barriers fall apart, and you get to see a truly special side of that person.

It is that part that I truly love to behold, when you get to explore all the interesting facets of a person, and in doing so, find a new part of yourself. Although I'm madly in love with my girlfriend, and am 100% comfortable around her, there are still parts of my personality that never surface around her. I've found these other parts of myself while experimenting with other people, and it's taught me a lot about myself.

Conversely, I absolutely love the idea of my girlfriend having these experiences with other people, because I love her, and I want to see her grow as a person in every way possible. My girlfriend is an absolutely wonderful and positive woman, and I think it would be selfish of me to keep her to myself. I'm more than happy to share her with the world.

These are the reasons I've chosen to be polyamorous. It really has nothing to do with sex. It has to do with relationships, love, and self-reflection, and making connections with people.

To quote The Ethical Slut, " We believe in having sex with who we love, and we believe in loving everyone."

Welcome to the forum D4rr3l! My friend who was reading the thread and myself both loved your post and I had to read it again just now to gain some insights into who you are a bit more. I don't want to say too much, but your girlfriend is a fantastic person and I'm incredibly happy that you're able to share each other with the rest of the people in the world and share the joy that both experience from those encounters with each other.

Your words about what you truly love about sex with other people not being the sex itself and actually being something much deeper and more intimate that as a species we currently only seem to be able to access through sharing the act of sex is something that I came to realise is what myself and many people (if not all) are truly longing for. All the intense sexual cravings and kinks are a result of repressing curiosities about other human beings and suppressing the desire to share that closeness and thus covering it up with these surface desires that we wish could fill those deep deep desires and yet never truly will.

Your post truly touched me and I appreciate you taking the time to come on here and make an account and such a wonderful first post. I hope it won't be the last and that I to get the pleasure of getting to know you better.

Namaste

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

My wife and I are swingers but we do not have an open marriage and we are not polyamorous.

I describe myself as sexually promiscuous but emotionally monogamous. I like having sex with other women and I do feel a degree of sincere affection and appreciation for most of them. some have become actual good friends but I do not want to have an actual ongoing relationship with them.

When my wife and I play we do it together as a couple. It is our sexual experience together as a couple even though there are other people there. That is entirely different than each of us pursuing and carrying out active relationships with other people outside of our marriage and relationship.

I agree that polyamory may look good on paper but I question how often it would work in practice. I think most people are not only too jealous and insecure to make it work, I think most people are too downright greedy.

I know I am and so is my wife. I am OK with her playing with another man as long as I am right there watching it and enjoying the show while I am playing with his wife and my wife feels the same about me. We are good as long as it is mostly equal and we are both getting something out of it.

If my wife meets some guy and has a relationship on the side that does not directly benifit me, that ain't gonna work and I know darn well that she feels the same way about me.

Is it jealousy? insecurity? greediness? Yeah it probably is but that is how we are all wired. We are all greedy and want power and influence. It's all fine and dandy when we are coming out ahead and it is benifitting us. But once it looks like someone else is benifitting more, the deal is off and the claws come out.

IMHO there isn't anything wrong with giving poly a try as long as everyone is consenting to it. Just don't be suprised when someone starts calling foul and wants to back out of the arraingement at some point.

This may be your experience and your belief, yet that doesn't mean that it is the way it is for everyone. You may be greedy and insecure, yet that doesn't mean that everyone is; I for instance am neither of those things.

Please do your best to phrase things in a way where you are stating your beliefs when you can so that you dno't spread negative mindsets that could prevent yourself and others from accomplishing the personal developments that they're here for.

I appreciate you contributing your unique viewpoint to the thread. I have encountered a few people who have similar lifestyles and they have a good time doing it. I had attempted to start living that sort of lifestyle myself several months ago, although I found that living that way caused feelings of possessiveness (which stems from greed), dependency (which comes from insecurity) and those feelings contaminated and destroyed a wonderful relationship I was in.

Since I began allowing myself to just have a good time enjoying whatever moments I am in with whoever I am with at the time then we both just have a great time and there is no feelings like that. We tell each other that we don't expect anything each other aside from what is communicated in the moment and that any moment things change we'll communicate that. It takes some getting used to; it's a bit of a complete and utter shift of your entire way of thinking cause you suddenly lose any feelings of antagonism towards anyone else and then you have to get used to not needing to have any walls up. It usually causes people to feel a bit vulnerable at first and it can be scary. After a while the experience is just like any other and if you can get used to it then you can relax and enjoy it. At that point you don't experience greed, insecurity, you love everyone, you feel happiness as a result of anyone else you are connected to in any way experiencing happiness it is a state that most people I've heard say they are in a nearly continuous state of bliss.

Now I'm not saying that this is a result of having sex with other people. I'm saying this is a result of allowing yourself to LOVE everyone. You don't have to have sex with anyone at all to love them. The sex thing is just something that tends to happen with multiple people as a result of the belief that sex is a normal healthy thing to do, that it is an enjoyable physical and potentially spiritual experience that allows one to satisfy the natural curiosity that one feels about another and is the way that people have been told is the way that people are able to share a moment of deep intimacy.

Just over a week ago I experienced a moment that was more intimate than most sexual encounters I've had in my life, yet there was no sexuality involved. We sat close together, massaging each other at the same time, with our heads close and speaking of deep personal feelings and beliefs, sharing the present moment while in the middle of a music festival in an open area behind a busy beach. Then we gave each other naked massages and at one point I even massaged the muscles beneath her breasts as I did with several drop dead gorgeous women that weekend without any sexual feel to any of it. It was one of the most blissful experiences either of us had had all summer and we're both exceedingly happy people who had had some absolutely ridiculous experiences this summer. We didn't have sex after that and I didn't feel any urge to go and jerk off as in previous times in my life I probably would have been agitated and edgy until doing because of the frustration that something like that would have caused.

Complete mental shift. If you completely change how perceive yourself and the world around you and everything you encounter will be experienced in a completely different way than before. That means you probably can't currently conceive of what the thoughts that occur in that new mentality would be like or even allow them, or else you would already be in that mindset, would you not? That isn't advice, that's simply how the human mind works.

_________________
"The 'Brick Walls' are there to allow you to prove how badly you want something!" ~ Randy Pausch

~ Rye

I have had a lot of utopian moments in my life too. I have lived in the Age of Aquarious too at various times. It was fun, exciting, mind-expanding and enlightening....it was also very temporary.

When you are young and don't have anything to lose it's easy love everyone and be one with the cosmos. It's a whole different story once you have a mortgage and a couple car loans and a couple kids in your names together.

The more invested you get into a relationship the less you want someone else to come into it and fuck it up.

Some people are less insecure and greedy than others. You may very well be less greedy and insecure than I am, perhaps even significantly less so. But we all have deep, primative, instinctual possessiveness that makes us want 'more' and don't want others taking what we think we should have.

That is hardwired into all of us, we can't change that. We can make accomidations and we can try to negotiate and work out arraingements of mutual benifits. Sometimes it even works well for awhile.

Eventually someone oversteps their boundaries and takes too much or someone else feels they are getting the short end of the stick and it all crumbles.

I'm not saying poly is bad or that people shouldn't do it. In fact I say go for it if you want to give it a whirl. It may even be fun and you may get off on it for awhile.

Eventually though you are going to develop a sense of "mine" and you won't want anyone encroaching on what you think is yours. Or someone else will get possesive first and take their ball and go home.

I'm older than most on these boards and can remember the hippy and free love eras. I have seen a number of couples get into Poly arraingements. I have seen communist countries rise and fall.

On paper communes and free love look great, communism looks great and poly relationships look great. People have fun with those things for awhile and then someone gets greedy and takes more than they should or someone gets insecure and feels they aren't getting what they should or feels they are going to lose what they want to possess and it all crumbles.

If you want to try poly, get it a shot and enjoy it while it lasts. Just don't invest what you aren't willing to lose and have a backup plan for when it is no longer fun and no longer working for ya.

Currently monogomous, but have been polyamorous in the past. If i get married, it's illegal in the US to be polygamous, but I would definately entertain a polyamourus relationship within the marriage if the situation arose.

For all those who say polyamory is all bullshit and can never work, that is bullshit. However, it takes very secure, emotional mature and tactful people to make it work. I've been in wonderful 3-ways and also nightmarish 3-ways. Even a 4-way taht was semi healthy for a while.

The end result is how well the people involved feel secure and appreciated within the relationships involved. Take your average selfish, insecure and horny 20-something and their brain does not comprehend selfless compromise and sharing. So in most cases it would fail. However it is a perfectly attainable and managable situation for those of a right mind.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

hmm, none of those panned out long term?

_________________
what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

It's amazing people seem to completely forget that sex does involve an emotional attachment with your partner.

Now, you go around and sleep with a multitude of people thinking that deep down in your head your love for your one true partner won't change, but who's to say that you won't start feeling more connected with someone you met? That you'll have a better time with her than your lover? You can't guarantee that. If you're still saying that, "It's just sex, nothing else".. what are you then? A robot?

I understand that the concept of polyamoury is based on "We believe in having sex with who we love, and we believe in loving everyone." but it doesn't state the degree of love you have for every person you have sex with. Unless, you're higher beings, you cannot, just cannot love everyone equally. So, what guarantee is there that you might find more love with someone other than your 'girlfriend'?

Also, the biggest fact is that women cannot separate emotions and sex. They just cannot. You expecting her to sleep around and come back to you, is while a noble thought, it could change readily if she makes a better connection elsewhere. Just believing in her that she won't be that way, is a fallacy, because you just don't know who she might meet and what he might make her feel, which could be what you do not or cannot.

So, while it might be the new state of sex and sexual relations, I'm with Mack and Lode on this one. Monogamy has my vote.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

It's always intriguing to hear anybody proclaiming ONE thing as their reality. With this topic, whether guys side with 'monogamous!' or anything that follows 'poly____!', there seems to be little respect shown towards others and the interaction with others that have led to who "we are'. Isn't accepting and respecting others' influence over us an aspect of love? How do you know that who you are now and your newly accepted philosophy is not the result of having sex with others? Is it because you've claimed to yourself that you allowed yourself to LOVE everyone? And if so, what led you to this point? You mentioned you didn't accept this philosophy before. Were you simply ignorant then? There were experiences that led you to this point. These experiences led you to seek out the books you read instead of seeking out books that might be titled, "The Joys of Monogamy". And by the way, plenty people describe their monogamous relationships with all the dreamy adjectives that you have used.

. . . But I question your Love All mantra:
. . . Unless of course you experienced the same 'blissful' experiences with drop dead ugly ducklings. If not, the truth is that you love all(drop dead gorgeous women) more than others. Are there degrees and categories in the type love you prescribe? You love ugly women too but just not enough to massage their breasts?

Hence this:
Is not entirely accurate is it? It seems what you mean is that you 'allow' yourself to have a good time enjoying moments with specific people. Hell, most guys can pull this off quite easily. Who's the bonehead who wrote that book? Can we ask him/her to change that mantra to "We Fuck some and we Love Some"? To the author: If you do in fact enjoy blissful evenings massaging and either fucking or not fucking ugly people who do not share your life ideals, I apologize and retract the above request.
This is solid game! As is this:
Obviously, I do not know you. But I'm not sure if you know yourself. Had this mindset and philosophy not led to 'blissful' expressions of SEX(everything you described are sexual expressions), I wonder who you would allow yourself to be now.
I agree with this. Those who've experienced guilt/jealousy/anger in relationships with others would probably benefit from exploring other possibilities. However, what do you say to those who claim that they are already in a blissful, meditative state while in a monogamous relationship? ... ... ... Liars? Can't be? And . . . "the next stage of Human consciousness" claim by either side is a bit strong isn't it? Sure, it might work with the physical/medical definition of 'consciousness'. Example: I shine a light to your eye, it contracts. I prod your belly and you yelp. You massage a hot girl's breasts without "thinking" about sex (although you are engaging in a sexual act) and you feel bliss. You're married to a girl for 40 years, and you feel bliss. These are merely emotional reactions to the physical World that we've created.

However, I'm getting a sense that you are referring to a spiritual sense of consciousness. You've even mentioned the word "enlightenment". And if this is the case, why would one who's achieved the 'next level of human consciousness' be so dependent upon his surroundings? Would you be less blissful if you found yourself in a monogamous relationship? Would this create jealousy/hatred/anger in you? If not, then I suppose you've achieved the spiritual 'next level of human consciousness' but then there would be nothing particularly wrong with monogamy. If it does create negative feelings . . . then what you've managed to achieve is nothing more than the experiences of the pigeon in Skinner's box that gets giddy over a pellet of food when it pecks a button.

To wrap this up, Mack's initial reply is correct. The confusion between emotional bliss and the all too difficult to define "enlightenment" often creates fools of some, members of a harem in others, and serious mother fucking pimps out of robe wearing gurus. . . and I suppose even devoted couples for life.

Thanks so much for your thoughts, here2play. It's interesting to hear from someone a bit older than myself about this sort of thing.

Like I said, I've only been poly for a few months. So far it's been really positive for the relationship. This is because, imo, of our extremely diligent communication, and trust that we're both on the same page.

To be quite honest, I am not sure where it will take us. Maybe it's a fun chapter that'll last months, or years... or maybe I'll be an ethical slut for life, haha. But, priorities straightened out, if any aspect of the promiscuous side of our relationship were to cause damage to our relationship, I'd stop in a heartbeat. However, I do not see that happening anytime soon. I'm excited to see what developments will happen in the future.

Yes, definitely it's something I think we should experience while we're young, before we have mortgages and kids to worry about. I want to experience all that I can, because we may not have the same freedom to explore when we're older. I want my partner to have the freedom to do the same.
Call me a weirdo or whatever, but the saying 'if you love something, set it free' comes to mind. Yes, someone else might be able to give her physical sensations that put her through the roof. She will probably even have feelings for guys she's with- I hope she does, that's a big part of it. But there's a difference between love for your partner, and the chemically excited emotions a woman gets from sex.

We're in a relationship. That's the priority. Beyond that, whatever play we do, and feelings we have, we talk about. A lot. So far, haven't seen any claws come out or one person benefitting more than the other.

I think I recognize the deep, instinctual possessiveness that you're speaking of, Here2play. It shows up in a twinge of nonsensical dislike when I meet someone my partner's had sex with. However, upon getting to know the person, that feeling so far has always given way to liking them, and the twinge goes away within minutes of actually talking to the person. Yup, those instincts are part of our biology, as are many things. Doesn't mean we have to let them control our actions.

So, Polyamory: It could be useful. It could be temporary. It could be a new and better way of navigating human relationships. Right now, my partner and I are still figuring all of it out, together, and it's really exciting.

Free love movement failed already. The idea put forward is an ideal, however it can be expressed in an almost duality of actions - freedom or No control. They mean the same things roughly but the subtlety of their effects are far more out reaching.

In fact I would go as far as to say it is the striving for this freedom or chaos that is it's downfall. Since you are setting down a system were in the nature of it is counter intuitive to those principles you are setting down.

You have no control, which in a sense isnt good or bad but can lead to the situation spiraling out or deviating from the original ideals. Every time you or your partner sleeps with an outsider you both open up the chances of discovering someone who is more compatible than your current partner leading to the break down of the whole idea in the first place, as they move on from you.

One could argue that this is the system or lack there of in effect, but it simply isnt the case, since the idea is that multiple sexual partners would not effect the relationship between them when clearly it is causing and end to it. The only way an ideal like this would work before the reality of the situation brings it down, is if you were with a partner who is and remains a perfect match for you, given the fact everyone slowly changes views and perspectives over time. But sadly anyone stating that this so would be in my opinion wholly arrogant and misguided to believe they were the perfect match.

Dont get me wrong im not saying that being that why is incorrect just it's applying an idea or rules to a facet of sexuality when the one thing about ALL of it is that there are no set rules that everyone will follow and never will be, especially as a society of individual minds.

Intimacy is such a personal thing- shouldn't each of us be able to make our own rules, and at least give ourselves a chance to question the beliefs about sexuality and monogamy that we were brought up with? Whose "original ideals" are these, anyways?

Biggus, I think your idea of polyamory may be different from mine. My idea of it is not chaos, but an alternate set of rules- one that has been agreed upon and developed based on the personal preferences and desires of myself and my partner. We are not hurting anyone, or ourselves, nor are we suggesting that everyone else do it too. Merely sharing the fact that so far, we like it! Beyond that, I don't see any issue with polyamory.

the mere notion of other manjizz up in my woman, would make me want to retch.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!