I just wanted to share with you something I've realised recently. It might be obvious to some of you but also helpful to others.

I'm sure a lot of you (me too...) tend to plan things in your head like this: first I'm gonna say this, then she's gonna say that and then I'm gonna say this and kiss her etc etc.

Of course it's good to have a plan on how to open, and to remember a few lines that you could throw in, but imagining a conversation in your head like that has never lead me to anything good.

1. It NEVER turns out like you have thought it would

2. You become emotionally attached to the outcome of your plan

3. You don't sound naturally when you're reciting lines of a pre-rehearsed conversation

4. You waste time thinking like that about a meeting or a phone call

And this leads only to frustration. She says something not according to the plan and you're not prepared to spontaneously respond. You get frustrated, you stop having good time, you run out of things to say, ...

Instead I'd say don't plan anything particular, and don't expect anything - it's best always to make up what to say and how to make a move, as you go.

So next time when you realise that you're rehearsing a conversation or going through a particular moment of an umpcoming date in your head, just stop. It's gonna turn out to be totally different anyway.

I'm definately guilty of formulating plans in my head which never work out, but I never realised why that was such a bad thing until I read this. You honestly hit the nail square on the head with this point.

Cheers brother, it's strange how the smallest of points can have the largest of impacts on your perception!

I'm very new to talking to women i general, I need a plan or I will end up saying nothing. If something unexpected will happen I improvice. I don't think having a plan is a bad thing, but being so comfortable with it that you would have no problem going around it, is another thing.

I dont think it matters if u plan things u say ahead of time to get used to talking to women but never waste time being attached to the outcome. I learned alot of it is just be authentic and genuine women can tell when you do this, then it never really matters what you say but the way u say it

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They're playing groupie... So I'm playing Rockstar

When I invited my current LTR back to my place for the firt time, I had some sort of plan but nothing exact, and in the end it turned out far better and a lot more fun than the actual plan

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What I like in life is nothing more but living it.

Agree entirely with OP. For me, I was a lot better at this - and more importantly, seemed to feel a lot better within myself - when I sort of played it by ear. It's alright to have a general plan, but I do think just going with the flow is the better option.

A "get out" plan is always a good idea though. Not just in talking to women, but everything - have a plan to turn things round if it goes wrong, but other than that, let it all just flow naturally.

And whilst some will say they need a plan to talk, as some have above, personally I think anything more than like an opener is too planned. Have those other techniques and tools in your armoury, but you need to be fresh and adapt to the situation.

I can relate to this. One time I tried to rehearse a planne dconversation for a girl at work and it came out really weird and awkward as I was trying to remember what I was suppose to say. I still was able to get her number which I found funny.