It's scary for me even thinking about it.. if a friend says "hey come meet this girl we met" then I can chat her up and use any trick in the world.. but most nights I don't have a wingman and I'm by myself.. and walking up to mixed sets or groups is a scary idea for me.

I was always the "nice" "genuine" bullshit guy and years of being single and being left by every girl I started "talking" to has given me this obnoxiously huge fear of rejection and anxiety.

I've just started learning and I'll probably be by myself tonight too in a packed bar but I have no idea how to simply just get over it and approach groups of strangers by myself. I asked random people (not locally) online if I approached them in a club/bar stuck out my hand and said "and you are" what would they do.

Most of them said they would talk/strike up convo/etc
Some of them said they would walk away/tell me I'm not interested/tell me "i'm married" or just simply no thanks.

That shit's terrifying for me. It's depressing walking home/driving home every night going "why.. why didn't you open girl A, girl B" etc.. even though they didn't show any interest to me, they were still really good looking.

Simply "grab your balls and just walk up and talk to these girls" just isn't working for me.. I have no idea how to get rid approach anxiety/fear of rejection or to be the guy who can randomly open sets of strangers.. that just isn't me even though it's who I want to be.. Any ideas on how you got through it?

All I ever do is non-wingman stuff. All a wingman usually does is grab a targets friend and drag them away to do you-dont-care. Without a wingman your doing the exact same thing you usually do, but with 1 or more people added on. Seems like your more afraid of someone going "I have a bf". Which is a shit test you need to learn to pass. I have a bf means two things, "i have a bf and am searching for a replacement", or "im not that easy if your scared or unconfident go away". I have girls say the bf line all the time, I just reply with "hey dont call me that in public!" and lol. For your AA learn to do a trick as a opener or silence filler, don't walk up "hi my names todd" try something more fun like "have you guys ever seen a white man breakdance?!" and try to get them to want you to breakdance, you'll be the center of attention and everyone will want to talk to you. Finally the 3 second rule is your best friend, if you see a girl and go "man i want to talk to her" your already to late to talk to her, just walk up and start, if you take more than 3 seconds to make a move then move on knowing youda fuc-d it up anyways.

Just got back from bar #1.

There was a fat girl and the target HB6. First the FF (Fat friend) came up to the bar where I was to order drinks, I opened her and introduced myself. Then I walked over to where they were sitting, the HB6 got up to go to the bathroom and I asked her "I thought you were leaving after one more drink?"

She said "yeah, that's what we thought, we're getting ready to though."

There was 4 seats there, they had their purses in the other two, I asked if anyone was sitting there and she leaned over putting her hand on the arm of the seat saying "No, we just put our purses here." and didn't offer to move it or even flinch or anything then just looked away... ouch wow.. any confidence I thought i had built up is now gone.. turned away by a fat girl, seriously?

I'm skinny, 23.. my nose is big but other than that I didn't think there was any other problems.. but seriously turned down by a fattie to just sit down? *sigh* If a really hot girl turns me down, who cares.. np.. but getting turned down by a non-HB is demoralizing. Guess I'm going to bar #2 and getting my motivation back up, well trying to. Here goes nothing...

Fuck that man


You can do it. Think of this... even if you fail every guy that sees you approach those chicks will envy you. Why you ask? Because you have bigger balls than he does. Don't be afraid to fail and if you do you fall forward not backwards. Every failure brings you closer to success.