Hey guys,
So I learned something today.
I went to a party (or more like a gathering of 20 people or so), all of which were with me throughout HS and junior high.
I realized two things:
1) I'm uncomfortable around girls that I've known in junior high. No idea why.
2) I'd rather be put in a room full of girls that I don't know, and I can get a conversation flowing, which is something I can't do with the girls I already know.

Now here are 2 examples as to how fucked up I am:
1) This girl who has been in my class for 3 years through junior high came to the party. When she came up to me I PUT MY HAND FORWARD TO SHAKE HER HAND (*facepalm*). I mean, come on.......
Of course she went "no we were class mates"and gave me a hug.
2) Another ex-classmate of mine was going to leave so did he round of hugging. When reaching me, I got a wave 'cause she noticed I wasn't going for the hug. I could tell she wanted it.... no idea why I didn't do it.....

I honestly don't know why this happens. I'm not like this around all women. Only around ones I know already (with me in HS / JH), or ones I was thinking of hitting on.

One last thing: I am probably afraid of kino. No idea why. When people come, I am not one of those people that invite a hug. Of course some of them I don't know personally, but even to the ones I do I never give a hug unless someone initiates it.

Edit: This is something from another thread that fits in here-
I guess you could say I seek validation by people. But it's only from people that I already know. I wouldn't give a **** what someone I've known for an hour thinks. It's irrelevant.
I was saying this on the chat today:
When I was put in a room with women I thought I had no chance with because they were 3+ years older than me, I got hit on by 4. That's 4 more than my previous score.
I know I'm a natural. I honestly am. People around me laugh, have a good time, and work their brain a bit from time to time. But I can't seem to bring it out when with certain people. We can call it AA, or we can call it a pressure of some sort....

Another edit: What I said about it being junior high is not true. I just thought about it, and if you would've put me in with my class mates from this year, I wouldn't have felt a lot more comfortable. I guess it's because I wasn't that much into big social events like parties up to recently. Recently being the last few months.
Feel free to comment

I know that feel bro. I'm guessing you maybe wern't the most popular kid back in junior high and now you feel like you need to validate yourself in some way to the people who you deem as the "cool kids" from back then. I had that for ages. I learnt not to give a fuck. If someone doesn't like you for who you are then you don't need that person in your life. As corny as it sounds ALWAYS BE YOURSELF IN ALL SITUATIONS, if you go through life not doing the things you want to because you're trying to impress other then you wont have a good life at all. That's something I've personally only managed to drill into my head quite recently.

It's not a matter of popularity. It didn't work like that. I honestly don't know what it was.
It didn't really stop me from talking freely with my friends either, but I didn't feel comfortable coming up and sitting next to some of these former classmates and talking to them as well.

too many thoughts, in stead of enjoying partying.

But again, easy said than done