Got a bit of the oneitis going on with an HB10. Really liked girl for over a year since starting a new job and we started to get friendly in the last few months. As soon as we got friendly she dumped her boyfriend and we had a date arranged to go to the coast. Since meeting her I've hardly had any interest in other girls. It seemed as though the ex then found out by checking her phone and sorted his game out and now they are back together. At the time she said she had never been so confused. I'm really gutted about this.

After getting back with him she still seems to want my attention and we were emailing loads but this has been doing my head in so I didn't reply to her last one.
One issue is she sits directly behind me and can be quite chatty with the people around her and I hear this all day and it's hard to get her out of my mind. I have to resort to listening to music sometimes to block it out.

So I don't really know what to do now, I really want her but now they are back together do I just stay friends or ignore her. I need to up my sarging game, I know this will help my situation although I'm low on confidence at meeting randoms at the moment. And if I can up my game you never know if she is single again and my chance is there maybe I'll have the choice of a few HB's anyway.

We have a work night out tonight and I think she'll be out. How do I act? More alpha I suppose. I guess I need a confidence boost!

Thanks for listening. Anyone have any ideas?

well all you can really do is be indifferent and go with the flow, if she is messing with your head you need to distance yourself, oneitis sucks ass, try going out to malls or other highly populated areas when you are alone, and just practice desensitizing your self bit by bit, start with asking for the time, then start asking for the time but trying to start a conversation, build and build, until you can start by giving a compliment or saying something genuine and situational and transition into a conversation, then start attempting time bridges and insta-dates, just do what you can, possibly if you just stay indifferent to this girl she might open up again later, maybe her and her bf will break up again, who knows, just don't be her dancing attention monkey, it will push you further into the FZ

I don't think she's into it right now. She loves your attention, but her boyfriend more. Avoid her as much as possible, so that when you have improved yourself, you can come back and she'll only be able to say "Wow, you've changed a lot!"

Focus on your work. With earphones on, if needed.

You need to purge her from your mind.

The sad thing is, we run after the things which get away from us. Once she starts missing your attention and company, she'll be pulled right into you.

Another thing, go meet other women too. There's no dearth of good looking women on the planet for men with the right moves. Take your pick.

Good luck.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

OK I'm trying to block her out of my head by listening to music etc. She's still being flirty though, making me drinks, tapping me on the opposite shoulder and walking round etc. The problem is because we work together there has to be interaction there.

I'm thinking of telling or emailing her something like "ok good luck with getting back with your old boyfriend, when you're done with him, give me a call, and if I'm available we'll go out. He's a very lucky guy to have a nice girl like you". Or just asking her why she broke up with him in the first place.

I don't know, we shall see...

Yeah. Don't say that.

Why say anything at all?

Start maintaining a little formal air with her. Perfunctory smiles, a slightly formal nod, limit your together time.. she will soon realise that maybe all that effort she's wasting on her boyfriend should be instead used on getting you.

If she corners you and asks you about why you're not spending more time with her, just say you heard this inspirational line by Saint Jagger which you want her to understand, "You Can't Always Get What You Want."

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I've been keeping my distance, I've been finding it hard though so I'm not sure how long I'll last. I really want to ask her why she broke up with her bf.

How long do I keep this up for? A couple of weeks/months? Until she eventually asks me how come I've been avoiding her (if she ever does)?

It was when we started to hang out a bit and she got to know me that she broke up with the bf. This was after overhearing her say he wasn't enough for her (are women ever satisfied though?). So I do wonder if we should be hanging out at lunch breaks etc and building up that bond again.

Should I be dropping DHV's and the odd girl's names into interesting conversations within earshot?

The whole purpose of the exercise was to give you some perspective. Some sort of detachment from the whole thought process concerning her.

And you did just the opposite. You are maintaining an 'act' and she might see through it quite clearly. You're still plagued with thoughts of her and it's almost unhealthy how much of attention you're giving her, even if in your thoughts. For now.

Why can't you meet other women? I don't think your hands and legs are tied. Then, maybe when you've met actual women and built attraction you can casually drop their names, not some made-up lies in front of her, which when you get caught with will ruin your reputation.

Go out. Meet more women. Then, see where that experience leads you, to her or to newer avenues.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Well I wasn't intending on doing any lying, I have met a few women, should have a date soon to go on a bike ride if this other girl is still keen.

I catch your drift though.

I did meet a girl in the supermarket tonight actually, I screwed up and got nervous and said the wrong things. She turned down my advance for her number after giving me a chance and said she we better leave it. Glad I had a go though even though it didn't go that well.

ok I'm feeling like an AF Chump right now! Latest update with work girl, I've screwed up I know.

I've boosted her ego too much and now instead of being nervous around me she is the opposite and the spark and playing with her hair etc has gone. I used to catch her in the corner of my eye checking me out and now that's all gone.

I overheard her say she is moving back in with her bf. I shall continue to be indifferent with her and move on and meet other girls and build up some confidence again. It's the only way, hopefully my feelings for her will fade whilst trying to be professional with work related emails.

Yup. At least you recognize it and you understand how you went wrong. Now dissolve the emotional attachment and it becomes just another experience in the past.