I'm not gonna lie, I'm confused. Tonight I met a couple buddies at a local bar, and there were maybe 3 women that were worth attention to me. There was a cute redhead at the other end of the bar I was at, and when I saw her I certainly thought about going over and opening. I just, well I didn't feel like it. honestly, there wasn't any fear in my mind, concerns, nervousness, I only wanted to hang with my friends and enjoy the night. Opening is about the only thing I consider myself to be very good at. I show no shame or anxiety in the approach, and what I continue to ddevelop now is kino escalation and closing, logistics in particular. I'm thinking right now that I should never actively ignore a possible set regardless. Part of me says that I invited my friends to meet up and that I didn't want to bail to hit on women since that's not there kinda deal. And part of me is just wondering if my time in the suburbs has me regressing. I went out last night too, ran a set in a mall filled with teenagers and maybe 4 women near my age.

Perhaps I'm not used to being confident, if that makes any sense, but I feel like I need an opinion. Those of you who basically know you can close when you try, do you go out and not feel like gaming at all? Or is that mode constantly on? I guess I'm trying to figure out if I got a random case of AA and are trying to justify it or if its normal to just not give a shit even when attractive women are around.

I don't think you'll have regressed. I know for a fact I don't get any less witty or charming as I grow older.

May be you didn't feel like it because of the people that you were out with. Have you even opened in from of them before. I think its easier to not give a shit if a stranger rejects you, but if your mates are there...

You know, I've thought about it, and I think the issue is that I have been putting a lot more pressure on myself lately to open way more sets than I did the last few years. Now that I've moved away from the city opportunities come around far less, so sarging is now an event because I have to plan where and when I'm going out as opposed to just going wherever, whenever in town. That's never been what I'm all about. At the same time, maybe I did have concerns about my friends in the back of my mind. I am probably going out again tonight, I did something cheesy to help me out if it happens again. In my wallet, right in front of my ID, I slipped in a card that says "don't be a pussy, just go for it." Every time at a bar I go to get money for another drink, food, or even to show my license to the bartender, I will see this little reminder from myself that I can't really afford to be picky. I'm gonna relax more heading into the venue, but also I realize that there aren't as many women around here that I would want to open so I can't afford to sit idly by as much.

You know what it sounds like to me? You went out with your friends to have a good time, and... that's what you did! The idea that every time you see a woman you need to open her isn't healthy. AFCs often do it, because it's training, and that's better than wimping out. But you seem like you have that under control. You're not a slave to PU. PU is a slave to you. Some nights you won't feel like doing anything but chilling at your house and watching a movie. Nothing wrong with that.

You're doing fine.

Dj Z mode always on for me... The problem is you are not hanging out with puas you are hanging out with mortals... So when you are with them you feel like them, which is ok, but you got a make a decision are you going out to be your friends or to sarge, now if you went out just to be with your friends, you are not regressing, you are just enjoying your friend....

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I guess the main difference here is that I actually thought the girl was gorgeous. I'm not gonna talk to every woman around me if I don't think any of them are worth talking to. I'm just gonna have to find a balance between acknowledging the lower supply while not trying to force it. Then I just make myself uncomfortable.

Also...well I don't really ever want to refer to nonPUAs as mortals, so it probably is healthy to know when to pick my friends over game.

This sounds SOOOOOOOOOOOOO familiar to me

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How my life looks like right now: STUDY HARD, PARTY HARD

Djz that is why the 3 second rule is crucial....

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As someone who has been around PUA for a while, let me explain how I feel about your situation.

At first when you get into PUA all you want to do is pick up women, you will start getting good and will want nothing else other than to learn as much about pick up as you can. The problem is, most guys get a little obsessive in my experience and picking up women because their life rather than complimenting it.

I never go out to pick up women, its lame and a bit creepy - not to mention it puts pressure on you to do something and can make you seem a bit desperate. However, I am always me - which means I am charming and going to flirt with women I bump into on my adventures! To me, that mentality of picking up women being a "something that might happen" really lets you just enjoy yourself and meet people when you don't expect it.

A prime example is when you are in a queue or a lift or something - you didn't go there to find a HB to chat up but there sure as hell might be one standing next to you! Thats a great time just to say hi, make some quick chat and then when you leave the lift get her number or something.

The same can be said for night game - in a club what usually happens is I am out with my friends (male and female) and we will be having a great time and at the bar/booth/outside there will be a HB standing next to me and I will go say hi, introduce myself, introduce my friends to her friends and the next thing I know we are ALL having a great time and I have closed or am about to close the one I like.

Does that make sense to you?

You can go out with the intention picking up women if you can frame it within just having a blast of an evening. If you trying to pick up women as some sort of serious mission to confirm your skills, then it will fail bigtime. For me, women are like booze, I just want both to enjoy myself. I don't care about the outcome, I just like the moment.

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You can't buy sophistication.

It makes a ton of sense. Guess I just analyze things so much that I didn't even see that I am past that "game everyone" stage. Much appreciated

Right on the ball Madals Was about to say the same thing.

To be honest DJ it's not uncommon, I started enjoying my nights out much more once I became exhausted of spending full nights running around testing techniques on women. It's not only tiring but self destructive.

Once I started being relaxed in my own skin my game improved dramatically, not only on women either. As an example I spent an entire night with a guys girlfriend grinding against me / kissing down my neck whilst he *no word of a lie* sipped his drink and looked bored watching us. (She was a friend of one of my mates)

Why? Because I wasn't trying hard, many people have made the point you shouldn't even look at the hottest girls as your separating yourself from the rest of the room and the "Why isn't he looking at me?" reflex gets triggered.

So by initially displaying that to the guy whilst subtly getting a bit of discreet kino on the girl she was mine for the night, for all I knew he thought I was gay since I was so composed. Came out with a number, email address, facebook and have been talking to her since

My point is not forcing yourself to run game on every girl you come across can be very advantageous There's a time and a place when you'll suddenly want nothing more than to have the girl you've just seen. Just keep it there for when that moment comes.

Comfirmation bias

What you believe is true, is true.

If you say that you suck with girls, then you will suck.

If you say that you are the shit with girls, then you are. Eventually.

Your mind is powerful and will shape reality to fit its beliefs and perceptions.

I'm on the same page with madals, I quit going out to "sarge" a long time ago but rather think of it as me going out with my friends to hang out and have a good time. I love running into random girls and flirting, don't even have to get their number. It's much easier when they ask you for yours. Yesterday I play basketball with the girl and got her number because I was having a good time shooting hoops, for example

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"going to workout and shit." -stunt101 (PUA chat)

I go out to sarge, sarge, sarge,(here we go with my 15 years lol) i do not hang out with guys i like going out ALONE, now if it does not happen, usually holidays, cockfest, raining, then it does not affect my state.... I just love the game, is like any other game(basketball, surfing, whatever)....I sarge for the fun of it, it is soooooo much fun, you go out, and you pick up 3 girls all the other mortals could not pick you, fun....You feel like a movie start...

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Learn the proper way to maximize your results in a dancefloor/club environment, check out my blog and youtube channel:
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