You're gay:
Say with a smile and confidence - you dont wanna deliver this as if you are bothered, just cool, calm and collected.

'Yeah I totally love the cock'
'What? cos I dress well and love interior design that makes me gay? tsk tsk'
'Yeah I am happy, thanks for noticing'
'Im not but my boyfriend is' ---> bit of a tired one this...

HB: You're gay.
You: I like turtles
HB: What?
You: Sorry, I though we were talking shit now...

This one could totally fuck up, but hey...
HB: You're gay.
You: (neutral voice, likeyou are talking about weather) Fine, I'll do you up the arse then.

then change subject...


You're Ugly:
'Yeah I went in for Quasimodo but they said no pros'

'Man we have SOOOOOO much in common!' ---> Overexaggerate your delivery here

'That's MISTER Griffin' - im a fan of absurdity sometimes

Or perhaps just one-line response: 'Awesome' then carry on...
Or ignore and carry on...


Not into Relationships

'Whoa, I've known you five minutes and you're banging on about relationships already? Mental'

or ignore.

When you say next stage - where are you? Is she attracted?, has she qualified to you? If so stop busting her balls and build some comfort, get to know a little bit about each other (not chapter and verse, just enough to rule you out of being a psycho)

OR fuck all the above, if you open well with C&F, forget running out of things to say later, just drop the Apocalypse Opener or Shock & Awe!