I belong to a socialising website where various 'socials' are arranged to allow members to meet up and, well, socialise. One of these socials was a drinks and clubbing night last Friday. It's not really my scene but I could see from the RSVP list that there were quite a few attractive girls attending so thought I'd tag along and see where it got me. Not very far is the answer.
I freely admit that I'm quite insecure with my appearance. I'm not ugly but I am carrying a few extra pounds which affects my confidence, but I'm dieting now and the weight is falling off so my confidence is growing.
Anyway, there was a bit of talent on the night but nothing that really grabbed me. That is until Lauren arrived. She's a HB9, much shorter than me (which I like) and a terrific dancer. As the whole point of the night was to socialise I didn't really need to 'open' as such. Everyone took it in turns to introduce themselves to everyone else in the pub (a nice relaxed setting) before heading off to the club.
I introduced myself to her, asked her where she worked, blah, blah, blah. She was quite talkative but she was like this with everyone. We were all there to get to know each other and make new friends.
We all headed off to the club but as it was still quite early the DJ hadn't started so it was still quiet enough to talk. I asked if she wanted a drink (yeah, I know). She asked me what I was drinking. I replied it was a mojito. She said she would like a drink but not a mojito, so we went to bar and she ordered a Long Island Ice Tea and I paid. I asked if it was nice and she proffered her straw to me. It was OK so in return I told her to try mine, which she did.
We talked some more, probably for a few minutes but I felt like I was monopolising her time and left her to mingle with the rest of our group. As the night progressed and the club filled up we all took to the dance floor. She was amazing. I stayed close to her and tried my best moves but as I'm not a natural dancer I wasn't about to get up on the stage and make a fool of myself in front of the whole club.
By around 0130 the group had disbanded and Lauren had taken a taxi home with one of the other girls. She didn't say goodbye to any of us that were still left.
The following day I sent her a friend request on Facebook which she accepted. I sent her a message saying it was nice to meet her on Friday and hoped to see her again. She's not very active on Facebook and isn't on it all that much so I don't even know if she read it. I didn't expect a reply and didn't get one either.
For the next couple of days I couldn't get her out of my head. Yup, I have oneitis.
On Tuesday morning when I got into work and checked my Facebook I saw that she was online and started a chat with her. She was on her way out of the door to get to work so couldn't talk. I was determined to talk to her though, so kept checking my Facebook when I got home from work. Around 2100 she came online and we had the following chat.
Me: Hi Lauren. Can you talk?
Lauren: I can but I'm expecting a phone call so if I go quiet, that's why.
Uh-oh, she's given herself and 'out'.
Me: Do you have any plans for Monday evening?
Silence. Silence. Still online. Still online. Offline. Bugger. I feared the worse.
About 2135 she came back online.
Lauren: Sorry. Next Monday? Nothing that I know of as yet.
Me: I have a couple of spare tickets to Windsor races if you feel like a flutter on the horses.
(I know from her Facebook that she likes horses and from our conversation on Friday that she works in a tack shop selling horse things).
Lauren: Oh right. That sounds cool. How many people are going?
This left me a little despondent. She obviously wasn't interested in who
was going, only that there would be a group of us. In other words - not a date.
Me: Just a couple of guys from work I think. All in all though I expect there to be thousands
This was a lie. In fact I didn't even have the tickets but I could easily change both of these if she agreed to come. It's not a 'social' I've arranged through the site, although I have arranged race socials at Ascot before.
Lauren: Cool. When do you need to know by? Don't have a lot of spare money for gambling but will try to help you.
Me: Help me?
Lauren: Pick the horses.
Me: Oh right. Sorry, I'm having one of those nights.
Lauren: Lol. It's OK. Me too. So tired.
Me: Am I keeping you up?
Lauren: Lol. I'm OK. Gonna head to bed soon. So when do you need to know by?
Me: If you could let me know by Thursday that would be good.
Lauren: OK, cool.
Me: It would be good if you could make it, especially if you're any good at picking the winners
Lauren: Lol
(she lols a lot) I'll see what I can do. Just gonna jump in the shower but I'll give you a message.
Me: Sure OK.
Lauren: Speak soon.
That was on Tuesday night. It's now Thursday and I haven't heard back from her. If she's on Facebook tonight I'll message her but I just know she's going to bail. I think I'll open with "Have you had any better propositions for Monday evening yet?" If she says 'yes' then she's basically admitting to choosing someone else over me and will have to justify that. Probable excuses would be a surprise birthday party or baby sitting. If she says she has to stay behind at work I'd be suspicious as I think it would actually be easy for her to get out of it (based on what she does and who she works for) but it's possible it's true. If she says 'no' then I'm quids in, but something tells me she won't.
I need to prepare a comeback for her flaking on me. Any suggestions? I'm new to all this and only found this site on Sunday. If I'd found it sooner I think I would have played things a little better, but as it stands, I don't think I've handled the situation as well as I could have.
If she does flake I could say something like "Oh, I thought you were a fun girl and would be up for an evening out. Was I wrong?". Is this the right approach? Try to illicit some sort of response from her to get her to say she actually is fun and try to take it from there. Perhaps reschedule for the following week?
My mind is all over the place. I should probably wait until tonight to see if she actually responds without me having to prompt her.
Anyway, I'm open to any suggestions, criticism or general abuse you want to throw my way for being such a chump.
Peace out.
CHAT