Hey everyone,

So, Im shocking at the approach, so shocking infact, i've never tried. You're right. "How can this AFC know he's shocking at the approach if he's never tried"

Well the answer to that is because, I can't, I read up about everything, books, internet sites etc in hunt for the perfect opener, I find it, I go to use it, I think "Hold on! That line is so cheesy, you could grate it and serve it on a pizza"

So my question comes in two parts:

1.How did you over come the approach fear?

2. Share some success stories!

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Wanting to learn everything I can

To be honest to get over aa you just need practice. I have a lot of aa too. You can go out in your neighbourhood for like half an hour and say hi to everyone you see. If they say hi back then start a conversation with them. You can also practice at places like Starbucks cause it would be easier since they are paid to be nice to you. Google how to get rid of approach anxiety pua. I found a lot of helpful advice there

You never get over it. you just have to accept that it's there and after a few fails you realize waking up the next morning with a bad hangover that you dont remember the faces of those you opened and they probably dont remember yours. Good luck

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- "Give me ten minutes to talk away my ugly face and I will bed the Queen of France" - Voltaire

Im from Sweden so sorry for any grammar or spelling misstakes.

Thanks guys, do you have any specific openers that are field tested and have worked?

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Wanting to learn everything I can

I think it will always be there to some degree for me the best thing is about keeping thing in proportion. Guys really beat themselves up over messed up game, I know I have a lot. ESP when an approach goes cold or whatever.


One of the things that gets to go approach honestly is because I feel 100% worse if I don't. If I puss out or whatever I feel much worse than getting a cold read or rejected. Like tonight I pissed that I didn't do an approach. Live and learn.

I remember once I was trying to talk to this HB10 and my voice was so shaky because I couldn't get my AA under control. I also keep in mind of a way to eject. A if things don't go hot you have a way out.

We know that you already know plenty of scripted field tested openers that have worked. That's not the problem. Even if we tell you some that you've already heard, I'm sure, They aren't going to make a difference. You need to start with baby steps. Check out the newbie mission thread. Go out and just start saying hi to random HBs/strangers. Nothing cheesy about it. Even if she doesn't respond well it doesn't matter because you're just going to walk right by her after you say it.

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I can't live my life always backing down!

Ya just say hi to people and start small talking. Because if your not comfortable doing that than even having a great opener won't be that much help because it shows your nervous through body language.

Ya just gotta do it. theres no easy way around it. I tried talking to random strangers even though that alone was a nightmare for me. even opening guys was so terrifying. talking to strangers was a serious problem for me. that didnt work. when it came time to talk to a woman in a bar or club i felt no different no matter how many people ive talked to throughout the day.
the bottom line is go out there and open. use the worst opener in the world at least say something. id rather be rejected a hundred times than know i wasted a night pussying out. i know your mind is telling you know. dont listen to it. just aproach reguardless what your mind and feelings are telling you. at the end you have control you. not your feelings not your brain. force your body to go to a woman and say an opener. it does not matter what the opener is. what matters is that you did it. then you can tell yourself ive opened. i can do it again.

I'm surprised no one posted this, but alcohol is your solution. I'm not saying drink everytime you go out but the first few times you're doing it, it can take a lot of the anxiety away. Another solution is to go out with friends and use non-intrusive openers to warm up your interactions, such as "Excuse me sir, do you have the time?" then be on your merry way once they respond. After a few of these, you'll feel more comfortable in social situations.

I had a friend who had a similar issue - I helped him get over it by simply walking up to a girl with him standing next to me and saying to the girl "hi, have you met (friend's name)?" or "Hi, I'd like to introduce you to (friend's name)"

this instantly starts a conversation and helps downplay the AA for my friend, as it would be me who'd be the one to get any backlash (which never happened once, btw).

Perhaps get a friend to do this with u until you're comfortable enough to go it alone. Then you could always walk up to a girl and say "Hi, have you met me?"

it works!

I got over my AA by getting it really bad once and going through with my plan anyways. It was so bad that my leg started shaking uncontrollably while I was talking to this girl. She even stopped me and asked if I was ok to which I responded "yah don't worry about it" and kept going. In reality it was the worse moment of my life, especially since it didn't work at all and she rejected me the next day. But since then I have very little AA. I guess for me it was just losing big once and every other AA experience has seemed puny and insignificant to that time so it never phases me anymore.

AA will never truly go away. You have to embrace it, and enjoy the thrill that it gives you. Everytime you make an approach it will be there. It will be like standing in line for a new rollercoaster. You never know what to expect, as long as you keep in mind that it will be one hell of a ride.

But to answer your question: make your goal "being able to go up to the women" and don't worry about the outcome. The fact that you approach a total stranger will most likely already impress your friends, even if you totally screw up. 99% of men don't even dare to walk over to a woman and start a conversation.

Oh, and to share a story:

Me and my friends had a guys night out at a local bar. None of us had to drive, so our goal was to get completely wasted, like we used to do years ago. My goal was to not pick up women that evening, but I have been talking to my friends about "game", and they started teasing me with it.

One of my mates suddenly tells me "so go and get us some women! I'll get you a beer if you do it". Ofcourse I never say no to a free beer.

That one free beer was enough for me to say "fark you" to my AA, and I started looking around for targets. There were two potential targets, both were 2-sets. One set was standing at the bar, while the other one was sitting down. I decided to go for the set that was sitting down, because one of their friends recently left the set (which turned it into a 2-set) which gave me a possible subject to joke about.

I approached the 2-set and for some reason I had great game, even though this was one of the first sets I have ever approached since I started improving my game. (I never call myself PUA, I just call it improving my game). I just kept the mindset "I'm great, I am going in to have a good time and don't care about the outcome, and these girls are into me". After all: ALWAYS assume the girls are into you, the mindset alone can make it reality!

I opened the cold approach with an opener that I made up on the spot, that showed both DHV, and made them smile. I immediatly sat down, put in a time constraint, and started teasing them and doing some push-pull. After this I bounced the set to my group of friends and we all had a great night. In the end my friends and I ended up drunk, which made some of my game sloppy. E-closed the same night, F-closed a few weeks after.

(this F-close made me realise that sex outside relationships aren't really my thing though, but to each his own. I don't judge people who like F-closes, it's just not my cup of tea)

This one approach was a huge eye-opener for me. Even though my next few sets failed horribly, I had fun doing them, and everytime my goal was to just have fun. Currently my game has become pretty ok. Remember: every failed approach is another lesson learned. You gotta love the chase .


Oh, and a big important cure against most AA:
Masturbate once a week on sundays, or after you come home from your night out on saturday. Your testosteron level will peak next friday and/or saturday, which increases your drive to approach women.
Masturbate WITHOUT PORN! Not because I wanna turn you into a saint, but because it simply increases your game. I tested it several times, and it works.
This "once a week masturbation without porn" might take some practise for some of you, don't blame yourself if you fail a few times.
After a while you notice you don't even need to masturbate for a week,and you might try to go for 2 weeks of no masturbation.... DONT TRY IT. All kinds of stuff can mess you up. You might become too horny, and eventually masturbate the day before you go out, your balls might start to hurt, or you might even get a wet dream. From multiple tests and experiences, I noticed my game is the best when I keep it to once a week .

Well, it seems my post has become way longer than I expected, I hope it has some tips in it that people can use.

When I was younger I never though i would pass this barrier called AA,because all I thinked about was me impressing the girl,and imagining her own thoughts of me being great,but in my head,I thought , I couldn't possibly do it,and it triggered AA.

If you want to get rid of AA,just try not to think about what happens,just try to get to her and say hi,and give a fuck about what happens afterwards.I feel a bit depressed when they look at me like a weirdo , but I also feel accomplished at the same , and I can recover quite easily from this.So AA is not fear of rejection it's actually a fear of depression that is about to come if the girl rejects you , but if you get rid of this depression,you will get rid of AA pretty quickly too.

Another reason for AA is approaching a hotter babe because you want her,but you want her too bad,and that could be a problem too.Try to solve that problem too

To get rid of AA just try have some fun with the girl , and not think about what are you doing actually.
A quick way to get rid of AA is alchool , but that is risky since alchool affects your intellingence and you risk being uninteresting but stupid.But if you don't fear rejection and you are okay with it,try picking while a bit drunk,but still consciouns,and acting normal.

Goodluck with your AA erasing,Im working on erasing AA too , since I still can't really go and pick up girls at the street yet(I rather be at a mall,or park or something)