Okay there's a long history with this girl so I'll resume it.

- We've known eachother about a year because of mutual friends (never really talked just knew eachother)
- Started "gaming" her about 3 months ago
- She started contacting me alot during the 3 months, and then suddenly stopped (maybe she started having feelings and wanted to detach)
- We've hooked up several times (fingering, making out, fondling, no sex though)
- She told me she's scared of me playing her, and that her ex-boyfriend hurt her alot and that's why she doesn't trust in any guy.

So I've tried proposing to hang out with her, and shes always refused and said i'd use her, saying "she's scared I will use her for a one night thing"

Her friend has also come upto me in the middle of parties and asked "do you like HB8?"

Other IOIs not worth mentioning.

So I hadn't seen her for about 2 or 3 weeks, and this weekend while I was at the beach she was with her circle of friends and I was with mine playing soccer, all she would do is stare, and when I looked at her she would instantly look away.

I later went out to a club and got totally smashed and when I walked into the 2nd club, I was inside maybe 20 seconds and as soon as I saw her we walked out of the club together. Again a lot of foreplay, talking etc. we spent the whole night outside together

She brought up the following topics:
- That she doesn't meet up with me or ANY male because she doesn't trust them.
- "Why did you tell X to not tell me you were making out and doing things with other girls" (I told her it's because I didn't want to hurt her if she did feel anything for me, and that if this isn't giong anywhere there's no reason for me to just tie myself down)
- She acknowledged she does like me. We also covered that I just like her don't want to be visiting this beach town just to see eachother and hook up. That it shouldn't become a reason for us to be coming to this town, rather that our friends being there should be our primary reason and not this fling.
- Ever since we started hooking up she's only hooked up with ONE other person (it was only making out according to her, and i don't know if she is maybe saying this because of her hearing about me being with other women...)
- Following day I invited her to grab a bite and again another excuse.

I don't know how to direct this in order to make it so we can start taking this in a more serious direction.

Obi...

What do you want with this girl? You want a one night stand... I would say you shouldn't do it... as others might say just do it, but that's not what she wants and you will hurt her.

You want a LTR? Talk to her, and say that you absolutly don't want to hurt her, but that you like her... First step on getting a LTR is saying you are exclusive... say to her you are not messing around with other girls, and demand that she does the same... and that it's not in ur intents that you or her get hurt in the process.

My opinion...

P1nkstar, I definitely do not want a ONS with her, I would like to go for the LTR. However at the same time though I do not want to be just focusing on her if it's not going anywhere (by this I mean her refusing to hang out, no sleeping together etc etc).

Now the problem is I'd love to say all this outside of a club environment and sober but as she refuses to hang out with me 1on1 it makes this completely difficult.
It leaves me with 2 options, either talking to her via text or phone, and I don't like either option.

However I did tell her I didn't want to hurt her. (i think i also told her i like her, i can't remember i was smashed). I didn't ask for exclusivity because if this isn't headed anywhere there's no point in asking.

I think you deserve clarification from her part... else she's fucking with you... and hearing what she has to say (guess!?) she's not a girl like that...

demand what you deserve... remember, you will always have the chance losing her in order to get her.

correct me if i'm wrong.