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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:24 pm 
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Actually, I think most guys avoid a girl if they are not interested. It doesn't bother me. I actually think it might be worse to have someone just reject you straight to your face. However, a part of me here believes that maybe he got the text and forgot about it and got busy. I only say that because he reached out twice to talk to me and did not flake on me. The first was to try and get my number again and tell me his phone broke which is why he didn't respond. The second time was to call and talk to me about it.

I don't think I have been childish about it. I'm trying to look at this realistically and that is why I asked whether I should make a last attempt or just forget it. I do really like the guy and find it rare that I would have so much in common with one person not to mention I had a strong physical attraction to him.


The straight-forward method seems like it could scare a guy off. I wouldn't want to do anything like that. In fact, I'm afraid if I did I would come off like a crazy stalker/clinger. I don't want to make him think I'm crazy or give him a bad impression because it is very likely he will see me next year and if I don't handle myself well with him, stories about me could spread like wildfire and next year could be awkward. Also, doesn't being straight-forward defeat the "challenge?"


Last edited by girl50 on Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:43 pm 
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Actually, I think most guys avoid a girl if they are not interested.
Boyish behaviour.
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I actually think it might be worse to have someone just reject you straight to your face.
Why? It just didn't work out, because you two are not compatible. That's life. Let me be very straight. Unless you are really really fat, just have one eye etc. it always comes down on not being compatible. It has nothing to do with you, it takes two to tango. Lose the thought rejection has something to do with you when you tried it your best without behaving weird. This is not comfort talk, it's the honest truth. So be happy when some guy has the guts telling you he doesn't feel what he needs to feel. It's a sign that he's a real mature gentleman. I'm still friends with most of the girls that I rejected, because I was honest. And the other way around.

Quote:
However, a part of me here believes that maybe he got the text and forgot about it and got busy. I only say that because he reached out twice to talk to me and did not flake on me. The first was to try and get my number again and tell me his phone broke which is why he didn't respond. The second time was to call and talk to me about it.

The actual reason why he does not respond now, has no real value. You only can know when you ask him the reason.
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I don't think I have been childish about it, but I don't think that was what Imar was getting at (atleast I hope not). I do just really like the guy and find it rare that I would have so much in common with one person not to mention I had a strong physical attraction to him.
I'm talking about a hypothetical oneitis. Just trying to warn you about what can happen in your head. But you sound rather realistic, so no worries.
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The straight-forward method seems like it could scare a guy off. I wouldn't want to do anything like that. In fact, I'm afraid if I did I would come off like a crazy stalker/clinger to be that straight forward with him. I don't want to make him think I'm crazy or give him a bad impression because it is very likely he will see me next year and if I don't handle myself well with him, stories about me could spread like wildfire. Also, doesn't being straight-forward defeat the challenge?
1. Being a clinger = being desperate in hoping to get attention. Spam his fb-wall, text him everyday about stupid things etc. Babbling too much always ruin things. If you don't have anything funny or serious things to say, just don't contact him. You can do all the babbling of the world in the relationship. He does not care if your cat got stuck in a tree. The less I talk, the more I score. The mission is to find out who he is and having fun.
2. Put the challenge in your straightforward message. Which I did in my example. If he does not decide now to date you, he will lose a very special girl. End of story. No more guessing, what if's, ...

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:59 pm 
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Girl 50 the straight forward method would scare the guy off, 100% correct... With that being said if a guy is into a girl and he wants or like her he would do anything to be with that girl crazy shit! this guy has gone cold, that is why use the hell marry or the last lifeline, but do it smooth, creative to see if he is interested... My whole point was to get a reaction from him because of the fear of losing your interest, to see if he is interested...Do it in a way that does not look calculated...

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 08, 2011 11:59 pm 
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I'm glad being straight forward worked for you. For me, I prefer a guy just avoiding me but I'm guessing it must be because I think I have had to deal with that more than the straight-forward method. The only advantage to the straight-forward method is you get an answer or explanation for why things didn't work.

I feel like I babbled a little too much about unneccessary things when I spoke to him before which is why I feel I screwed up. However, skills360 thinks I handled it fine and was over-analyzing.

I would love to go forward with this straight-forward method but honestly I don't think I have the guts or courage to be so straight-forward with him especially when it is very likely he has no interest anymore. I'm certain he had some physical attraction to me though. His body language gave it away.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:02 am 
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Do not do the straight forward method nononono.. Shows too much interest...do the fear of lost method...to see how he reacts...

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:06 am 
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The fear of lost method would be to just not text him or call? Well today would be the 8th day.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 12:11 am 
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You normally do not scare the guy when you are not too serious. What do you want? A date. You are not asking him to marry him. Ask for a date. You already sent one or two messages, the situation is pretty clear. No miscomprehensions. Your amount of messages are very limited in this situation.

The guy isn't stupid why you are contacting him ... And yes, at this point he lost interest because nothing is happening

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:40 am 
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Girl 50 the straight forward method would scare the guy off, 100% correct... With that being said if a guy is into a girl and he wants or like her he would do anything to be with that girl crazy shit! this guy has gone cold, that is why use the hell marry or the last lifeline, but do it smooth, creative to see if he is interested... My whole point was to get a reaction from him because of the fear of losing your interest, to see if he is interested...Do it in a way that does not look calculated...
Basically you want me to try and show him I'm interested in another guy? For some reason, I feel like this won't work. I think that he is the sort of guy thats like oh well if I don't get her, fine. I already think I have given him the indication that I'm not interested anymore by waiting 4 days to respond when I used to be prompt with returning his texts and then I returned his call 4 days later too with a text, not a call. Also, before I used to send more than one text sometime if I didn't hear from him or I asked him what happened to him. I haven't even done that now. I just have sent one text and if I don't hear from him I don't even question it like most girls would who are interested.

Now, the whole reason he has tried to get in touch with me and called me is because he sent me a link on evolutionary fitness and he had asked my opinion on it. He wanted to see what I thought of it. I have no clue how to casually work another guy into the conversation with him without it looking intentional since it would be way off topic.

Not only that, I honestly don't think I had any guy that blatantly express his interest in me. From what I heard, many guys get nervous there and don't make a move. Usually they do it on facebook, lame... I know. Anyways, I don't have a facebook and only one of the guys who I think had some interest in me got my number. I have talked to this guy a little bit since but he is not really making much of a move and I think he isn't because it would be awkward for him to and he doesn't have the guts to do it. He seems like a beta. Now, another guy there seemed interested but didn't make a move at all and is the same age as this guy and they both live in the same state. Lastly, one other guy saw me dancing and was really impressed by how I danced and told me I was a good dancer and I could tell he wanted to dance with me so I did end up dancing with him a little, but he never took my number and I never got his. My fear is that I don't want to throw out these guys names and have it get back to them if they haven't made their interest in me obvious. Then it would look as if I was trying to spread rumors. There was also one other guy too! I forgot, but I don't think he knows this guy. This guy made an obvious attempt by grinding with me and then trying to give me a foot massage. However, after the convention was over he didn't attempt anything with me.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 2:43 pm 
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Well, I just read what you sent me, and I couldn't find anything which made you come off in a bad light.

Yes, it is pretty obvious you like him, and he's replying pretty okay too.

At this point, you should cut down on your message lengths. Trust me, it's a basic rule of power : Always speak less than necessary. His replies are a third roughly of yours, basically, he's got the power over you in these interactions.

Another thing, change the conversation. There was just too much talk about weight lifting and gym routines. That is NOT what men and women talk about, well not that much. There are always better things to talk about say relationships, movies, books you get my drift..

Now,you haven't "messed up" yet. Maybe come off as a bit eager in some areas, but not over eager. Tone down the excitement. DO NOT initiate for some time. I know it's hard and you like him, but someone's got to take the hard route to get somewhere worthwhile.

Keep your replies short and to the point.

Also, you should at all times be ready to accept that maybe he just might not be interested after all. You should always have one foot out of the door in such situations that you are not sure about.

Good luck.

P.S. You're an Indian? Well, me too. It's a pleasure meeting you. :)

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:48 pm 
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Draper is 100% correct...But as i said is the guys' job to seduce and lead the convo. Girls really do not have to do much...

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:02 pm 
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Great advice from Draper.

The way I see PU text game is that the goal is to make the girl chase you and always be leading. If you're chasing the target, you're in a bad position. As a girl, you have a lot more wiggle room. I don't think of girls that text me often as "clingy." Guys have to be cautious of giving too much attention, but I'm glad a girl enjoys talking to me. If I don't want to text back, I don't have to, and I think your guy has a similar mentality.

Keep talking to him! Don't be scared to make that first move, and test whether or not he likes you.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:55 pm 
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Draper, its been 9 days since I sent him that one text returning his call and I haven't heard from him since. Isn't that an indicator that he must have lost interest? Also the response times I showed you must also probably indicate no interest. The only strange thing is that he would pick up the phone and call me. I have a feeling he won't be initiating a conversation if it has already been 9 days.

Anyways, the SPAM message was sent 4 days after I sent my text. Not once, did I bother asking him why he hadn't responded yet or send a "hello?" text during that 4 day period. I sent a text 3 days after I received the SPAM message. I did not get a text for 4 days from him, but once again I did not bother trying to send an "are you there?" text. On the 4th day he called. Then I didn't return his call till 4 days later with a text. So I wonder if that clears things up a bit, because I think I could have given him the impression I'm not that interested.

Draper, skills360, should I send him a text and make that first move?


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:47 am 
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girl 50 all the puas including me are throwing theories not facts, the guy may just be a shy guy with no game, or may not be interested or whatever, is hard for us to be 100% accurate in a blog, we are ladies man with game so we look at it kind of from our perspective, if you feel that he is just shy, then do not be so calculating and follow up he did give you couple of iois and you kind of did not pick up on them, you say you did not have facebook, he may think you are just not into him(who does not have facebook, he may think is a diss)maybe he thinks you are not interested, as i say a million times a good attitude to have is not to give a fuck... Call him or text him, sometimes girls are so calculating that they push guys away, your convo is weak make the convo go somewhere sensual, whatever NO MORE GYM TALK,here is an example: i picked up a girl at a club we were having a good time and making out, all of a sudden i was eating shit we 2 other girls, she acted irrational and pissed(calculated), i froze her out(punish bad behavior) and ignore her, i did this for almost a month(so i saw her 4 different weekends), meanwhile i was hooking up with other girls and she with other guys to make me jealous(her game) and shit, it did not work, but the point is she came back and i game her hard core, but she told me in her past she was cheated on and she wanted to be with me and that is why she did what she did...Instead of just that night telling me that shit, it would have avoided all the drama. Call or text the guy and stop being so calculating at this point you have nothing to lose, and learn how not to give a fuck..If it does not work just move on, stop wasting your time..Plenty of dick out there i would even do you if you send me a pic and you are my type , that would take your oneitis AWAY in 2 seconds j/k lol! :twisted:

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:13 am 
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Well the oneitis is wearing off. I'm kinda done with worrying about him because I also realize my self worth and figure, "hey if he's not interested, his loss." He is certainly not shy. From the first night I met him he immediately touched the small of my back. Out of curiousity what were the ioi's I did not pick up on. The one that you already told me about him asking about my weekend plans I picked up on even before you mentioned it, but that was the only one I really noticed.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:51 am 
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He called that is another ioi, but when he called he may thing you are not interested because "I was leaving when he called, so I cut him off then and asked him if he was getting texts and he said yes so I said alright well I'm actually leaving to meet a friend so I'll either call or text you later bye"

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