Hey guys,

Just wondering where and how I should begin? Any recommendations as to what programs you guys recommend to someone who is just (literally) beginning and looking to improve his "game"? lol

There's a lot of them out there which is why I ask... Originally I was planning on buying one of Derek Rake's e-books but then I discovered this site and I saw Gambler's videos and I checked out the MPUA University but I didn't really how all the material was on video and that a lot of it was based on picking up girls at clubs. Anyways, I'd rather have an e-book to pick up and read every once in a while instead of sitting down for a 45 minute video! Not that I mind a video every now then, but it's hard to sit down and watch a whole set of 45 minute videos with work and what not... There's just no time!

Like I said, I know there's various techniques and schools and theories of seduction from Mystery to Gambler to Derek Rake, but what I'm sort of looking for is help for asking out girls in everyday situations like out on the street, in the mall, school, etc. Sort of more natural game I guess you could say? Not really that comfortable with sort of being that Slick guy that picks up chicks at clubs, that's not really me. I'm sort of more easy going, laid back, low key. That's sort of me.

Any help!?

Anyways just to give you guys some background info and like the thread subject says I'm a total newb when it comes to girls and relationships, so basically my dating history to be honest is pretty non-existant. I'm 24 and I've never had a girlfriend and I've never been on a date either. And I've never kissed a girl either. Well actually I have kissed girls like at parties and being stupid and drunk and stuff, but what I mean is that I've never kissed a girl that I genuinely liked, like made a move and went in to kiss that girl I really liked you know?

I know that sound's really abnormal and weird, but I'm actually not like a crazy psycho or anything. I'm pretty normal bar the non-girlfriendness and the fact that I don't date. And I'm not completely socially inept either, I play sports (really only soccer with my buddies, even though I suck! lol), I go out with friends, I drink (flip cup! bit of a lightweight though), I go to parties, dance etc. I mean I'm not the most confident person in the world (I think everyone's neurotic in someway or another) but I think I'm a pretty decent looking guy and I'm a freaking great catch cause I'm an awesome person. It's just I'm retarded when it comes to girls. So you know, no girls in my life.

I think as I went through high school and college in Miami, I sort of got used to the idea of dating and girls not really being my scene, so I guess I just got used to being a sort of loner. Or my best friend's third wheel. lol And even though being alone is hard, I always comforted myself by saying "well I don't need anyone, I'm can do just fine by myself." Kinda like saying to myself, well I'm better than everyone because I'm strong enough not to need anyone.

I was wrong. Dead wrong. It's so hard to be alone in the world we live. And when you're alone it's like the world rubs it in your face that you are alone, you see people together in movies, in music, at the park, it's like damn guys get a room. You know?

Anyways, I do have a lot of friends (most of whom I met in school, girls included), but when we were in school it was mostly just me and my guy friends and they were just as clueless as me in regards to girls as I was. I mean it's weird we would talk to girls and we were friendly with them, but no one was really getting any action in school if you know what I mean. It wasn't really until my best friend started dating his girlfriend (who's one of my best girl friends now) that we really started meeting more girls (some of who were pretty cute too). But no one out of our group of (guy) friends ever really made a move on any of these girls, including me.

And in college, being in Miami, yeah... Lot of hot girls! Colombians, Cubans, everything! But I didn't really meet anyone. Can't say I really tried either. Most of the time, unless I didn't have a specific reason (like doing a project together, or something else) to talk to someone (in this case a cute girl) that I didn't know, I wouldn't really talk to them 'cause I didn't know how.

That's my main problem I think, that basically when I'm interested in a girl, it's like I can't think of what to say and I just like ignore them. Like my main fear is that dreaded awkward silence you know? And this happens with like girls that I know and have been friends with. I mean like I said I do have friends that are girls. It's just the I'm always closer to the ones I have no interest in or lesser interest in. The ones I think are cute, or really hot, like girls who I know and are friends of friends and in group situations, it's always like oh Hey and Bye! Not much interaction on my part with those, the ones I really like. So with girls I don't know and randomly see on the street and think "wow" and stuff it's like I can't even imagine how to start a conversation.

The worst thing is that now that I'm working and out of school, so I'm lucky to see any cute girls at all. School and college were such great opportunities and I feel like I've totally blown it. Also, I moved awhile back. From Miami to South America (Peru) and it really sucks too because I don't really have many friends here and I miss my friends back home a lot. So now I'm a loser with no friends here. So obviously not meeting many girls either. You'd think an English speaking American Citizen in a Third World country could score at least a date or something but not in my case.

And I'm actually not completely friendless here I do have a couple of friends but these people are mostly acquaintances and not really like my friends back home in Miami who I used to just randomly hang out with when I had nothing to do, you know? Like my friends that I know here are like older people from work who are married and have kids, or dudes from my car club who I just get together with to talk about car parts and stuff we can do to our cars with. Like I don't have anyone to hang out with and go to parties with and like meet girls my age.

I think basically another one of my problems is that I've never had like a friend who was like a charmer with girls and knew girls, cause obviously then I might have met some! Or learned something to at least get a girl I liked to go on a date with me! Even in Miami, like I said most of my friends, were all like retarded with girls too and are in the same boat as me!

Anyways just to put it out there, I'm actually not a virgin since I was 20. How you ask? Prostitution in South America is pretty cheap. And you'd be surprised at how many hot girls you can find. Which is awesome. But after a while it's just like "eh sex," you know? You finish and then you feel dirty and empty and weird. At least I do. It's fake and basically the girls in most cases are there just to collect their money. Not that I don't like sex, sex is actually awesome, but I want more than that.

Basically what I really want is just someone to hangout with, to go to the movies with, have dinner with, talk to, laugh with, make out with, like a real relationship.

Anyways, that's my situation and story. If anyone know has any pointers to help me out, I'd appreciate it...

It might change/save my life!

Thanks!

Hugs dude.You're like me ,Ive never kissed a girl either,not even at parties,though Im much younger.Ive never given up on finding a girlfriend and neither should you,and you also should try to overcome AA,in your everyday routine when you see a pretty girl.Don't let fear overcome , just do what you think it's fun and go with it ,think about approaching woman as a fun game where even losing is fun , and laugh at yourself with the girls when you make an awkward mistake.

You are not a confident person. A confident man would say, "I love soccer with the boys, the dynamic fluid movements are so me" (I am a soccer player myself.

Also, you just stopped giving a shit or even trying. You live in Miami dude, MIAMI, where the hottest women in the world live. One weekend there and my dick would fall off.

But you're not a total loss and the good news is: there is still time. Believe me there are dudes out there in a lot worse shape.

First soak up Mysteries "Magnum Opus" then, read "The Game" by Neil Strauss. Then, read it again. Then read "A Purpose Driven Life" until you have gone through this material thoroughly nothing in the forum will make sense. Always remember you won't get into this to pickup chicks, you'll be doing it to live the life you want to. Whether that is find a soulmate, or, have a great social life, or, finally get a girlfriend. It is suppose to help you build a life.

Every man in here started as something different, it's up to you what kind of man you want to be.

you will not be alone forever if you actually try, but you need to actually try, you can be depressed and keep re-iterating to yourself that you suck and continue to limit yourself based on your negative image of your self, or you can start accepting yourself and loving yourself, start small, build your way up, focus on being happy, try to feel good and make other people around you feel good
start asking yourself questions about your situations and how you can improve those situations,
repeat in your head that you love yourself, and you love others in your life (including people you find to have a negative impact on you, this will help you)
maybe start slow with something like focusing on holding eye contact longer then another person,
after that you can focus on maybe something like not saying negative things about yourself,
then you can focus on saying positive things to other people and trying to actually talk to people, try to connect with them, connect with them by finding things out about them and what interests them, then vibe on it,
take interest in other people and they will take interest in you, demonstrate to a girl that you are willing to take some risks and risk losing a friendship, or an embarassing encounter to win her attraction, be bold, but not reckless, no one likes a rapist (except girls with rape fantasies), ask girls about this, ask them for help, offer people your positivity in exchange for nothing, don't allow people that treat you in a negative manner or make you feel bad to be around you without at least addressing the issue, don't allow yourself to be manipulated into doing things you don't want to do, try to dis-connect your self worth from other peoples opinions, try to lead a healthier lifestyle, begin breaking the touch barrier with women, tell them how you feel about them, tell them why you like them beyond their looks, ask them for hugs and kisses, and when you are comfortable with that, TAKE YOUR HUGS AND KISSES


IN SHORT, life is short, you don't know when it will end, you need to make the best of it, not assume the worst of it and not make anything of it, just keep asking yourself
AM I DOING WHAT I WANT TO BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
AM I HAPPY WITH THIS SITUATION? IF NOT HOW CAN I IMPROVE THIS SITUATION?
DOES WHAT THIS PERSON THINKS OF ME, EFFECT HOW I VIEW MYSELF?


JUST GET OUT THERE AND TRY, IF YOU GO OUT, EVERY DAY, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND TRY, YOU WILL AT THE VERY LEAST FIND ONE GIRL, I PROMISE YOU, EVEN IF YOU ARE THE UGLIEST MAN ON EARTH WITH 1 HAND AND BAD BREATH AND YOU ARE MORBIDLY OBESE, IF YOU START HONEST AND GENUINE, YOU WILL FIND AT LEAST 1 GIRL

Yeeaa great idea... Give up and die lonely -_-

That's it!

In all your talk about lamenting your situation, your lack of friends and lovers, not once was there any indication of anything you'd actually DONE to improve your situation.

I know ONE guy who got to the stage in his life where 9s and 10s are simply served to him on a platter and he doesn't have to do anything apart from be there. He got there by doing a hell of a lot to create a certain lifestyle for himself that gives him the means and the access to girls like that.

The rest of us have to actually go out and APPROACH. You want a job? You have to put work in to make a good CV, and do a lot of interviews. You want new friends, you have to put work into yourself and create an interesting life, get some hobbies, and go out and talk to people. You want girls, you have to put some time in to get yourself looking your best, feeling positive and confident, and fucking go out and talk to 20, 30 girls every day, on the street, in a coffee shop, at bars, at clubs, everywhere. That's all there is to it.

The BEST way to make a connection with someone, whether it be a guy who you'd like to be friends with, or a girl you'd like to date - is to begin your interaction with an EMOTIONAL SPIKE. The easiest and most effective way to do this, is to begin with a COMPLIMENT.

Here's Sasha approaching women on the streets of London using direct compliments as his opener. http://www.youtube.com/user/Sashathepua ... djZf7Nqbo0 If you can do it in London, believe me you can do it anywhere!

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