My girlfriend and I moved in with each other in the beginning of 2011. We had been doing the long distance relationship thing for a year and a half, and I was tired of it. She was my paramour, the reason for my existence, and we worked through more shit than most 20 years married couples do. I was always the one to concede points, divert fights, and surrender on points and issues. This is what an AFC does. An AFC allows bad things to happen to him, whereas as a Venusian Artist will create his own destiny.

At the time, I couldn’t see past the tip of my own nose. I was so blinded and fooled by love, and she could do anything she wanted to me. During high school, I struggled with finding my own identity, because of all of the shit that she did to me. I strived for her love. I would call her every night, just to make her laugh. Because she deserved to be happy, I had thought at the time.

But alas, it was not meant to be. While I was striving for her love, she was busy getting with a dirtball in high school. He wasn’t even attractive, and I could never understand for the life of me why she decided to choose him. (Until I read The Game) I spent the next 2 years of high school in a self destructive pattern, stealing, lying; basically doing anything that allowed me to get in shit.

You may ask yourself, why would somebody let themselves be ruled by their emotions to such a degree? It goes back to my childhood. I was in foster care. I would never let anybody in. I used to imagine an ice wall surrounding my heart when I was 11, and one of the only girls that melted this wall was her.

I did eventually get over her though, and after I graduated, I had my sights set on becoming a professional golfer. I still believe I have what it takes to become a professional. That summer, she and I started dated. I used to believe that it was amazing, but now I see that see was attaching herself to somebody that was going somewhere in life. This was 2 weeks before college.

At the time, I was just beginning to immerse myself in the PUA community through PUA forums. I thought “Great, people that are just like me. I can learn everything I need for college.” But then we started dating, and that put a hold on everything.
Dating long term was hard, and the entire time I was with her, I only messed up once. I made out with a girl at a local party. I’m not going to lie; I wanted to sleep with her. But a part of me knew it was wrong.

Where things started to fall apart is the moment she began partying. She was living vicariously through me, living the life that she never got with her parents, or that she got with her last boyfriend. She was reaping all of the benefits of having a relationship, while still allowing her to live the single life. And because I went with everything, I let it happen to me.

Where things got really fucked is last November, when she got taken home from the bar by some guy. She was highly intoxicated, but I know the one part of her wanted this guy. After referencing Mystery’s boyfriend lines from “The Mystery Method”, I realize that this was she was hardwired for. She had no inhibitions that night. Until she started to sober up during sex.

Ah. The classic “he said, she said routine”. Rape; that’s what she had said it was. I have absolutely no qualms about saying that this was the hardest, roughest patch of my life ever. I stopped eating for a couple weeks. I would only want to sleep, because that was the only reprieve from my existence. I was a sad sight. My friend and roommate was there for me every step of the way, and I am going to introduce him to this new world as well.

After a couple months rolled around, I asked her to move down. She obliged, and left her home and moved hours away. We moved in together. It was our home, and I was relatively happy. But I knew that in the back of my mind that it wasn’t going to work.

It took awhile for me to stop hating my girlfriend, and learn to love her again. During this time, she met a number of new friends from work again, clone copies of the regular nobodies that worked at her last job. She started to spend more time with them. It bothered me, but I never said anything. Then I met Neil.

Neil was an AFC. He was a lost puppy dog who needed a master, and my girlfriend was there for him. I never really figured it out, but texts between the 2 of them explained it a bit. We broke up shortly afterward.

I was a mess until I picked up “the Game”. It introduced me to a brand new world, free of the constraints of relationships. And it feels like a superpower.

So now I am going to recreate myself into the best “me” that I can be. I’ve began running every day and I try to get out in the world and socially calibrate myself. It’s been about 3 weeks. I didn’t mean to ramble; I just want people to know where I’m coming from.

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It's not lying, it's flirting.