So the girl I'm interested in is a long time friend. She use to tell me all her boyfriend problems but for the last couple months, she has not talked about her relationship with her boyfriend.

I'm interested in her, so last month I asked her how she's doing with her boyfriend. She said "He's nothing to me" and that she just wants to be alone now." She didn't tell me what happened in that relationship.

Being that she's technically single, I started spending more time with her and tried to do more less friend-like things. Such as sharing food, holding her around the waist. When I thought it might be a shot to ask if she liked me, she said "as what? .... as a friend of course...I just want to be alone right now."

The funny thing was that we were sharing a tent when I asked her that. I really thought I had her. The next day (while we were hiking), I could see that she was taking candid pictures of me. After the hike, we decided to take a nap, and I woke up to the sound of someone calling her nonstop. She then went outside and all I kept hearing was "I'm not talking to you. I'm not even at home right now, so you might as well go home". I tried talking to her afterwards. I said, I'm there for you if you need someone to talk to but all she kept saying is that "She's fine". A while later, I saw her in a deep conversation with her female friend. I was sort of selectively tuning in so I knew they were talking about the guy on the phone.

So..wtf is going on??? I'm really lost on the fact that she use to tell me about all her boyfriend problems and yet when I offer her help now, she only tells me she's fine and turns to her female friend for help.

She's pissed with her ex and may even be interested with you, but because this guy is still talking to her, ringing her and even possibly trying to get back with her she still feels slightly involved with him and isn't ready to move on either for herself or to avoid hurting him or making him mad, depends what he's like.

Keep at it if you're genuinely interested in this girl pick good moments to gradually esculate over the next couple of weeks or so. Although I wouldn't continue any further if you only want to sleep with her. It'll mess her up.

I am genuinely interested in her. But she's far from being an "oneitus". I want to be in a relationship and she's someone I feel comfortable being around with.

From a female perspective:
I think she is still hung up on whatever happened with this ex - maybe he cheated, maybe he did something so bad that she is too embarrassed to even talk about it, and she is still hurting from it. Whatever it is, she's clearly still angry about it, hence why she would say she is not talking to him (if it were an ordinary break-up, i think the dramatics would be less heightened).
She probably does like you but i really think her mind is still on the ex, thinking about whatever happened. She still has feelings there even if she's currently not talking to him. and you have to feel PRETTY passionate about someone to be so angry at them, right?
The timing is off. She might even get back together with this guy, I am sorry to say

maybe you should subtly hint to her all the ways you'd make a great boyfriend - how you're nice and you never hit, never yell, etc etc
just a thought

More feedback would be appreciated.

STOP BRINGING UP THE EX! My opinion - she hangs out with you to get away from thinking about him. When she is with you she wants to think about you, not him. It's a good thing that she doesn't want to talk about him.

The fact that he keeps calling like crazy tells me that he is controlling. You need to be laid back - go with the flow. Keep escalating kino. Start hanging out with other girls. If she is interested in you this will spark competition and force her hand.

You sound nervous and lacking confidence. Don't ask if she likes you. You know she likes you. She went on a freakin camping trip with you and ignored her ex bf for you...

Finally, someone said what had to be said.

What's this droning on and on about her boyfriend? Do you want a relationship with her or are you more interested in whatever is happening between her and her ex(?) boyfriend.

The reason why most people fail at picking up women is because of this, they start taking into account all kinds of things except the obvious : you and the girl. You should be concerned with what you have with her and not what she has with other people. That's her business and she'll deal with it efficiently on her own, if she wants to be with you.

Focus on building attraction with this girl. And for the sake of God, stop thinking, worrying and talking about her boyfriend.

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I don't bring up the ex. She just said she just wanted to be alone when I asked her if she liked me. She didn't ignore her ex when he kept calling her.

Thank you, that made more sense.

There is low initiative on her end (ie. slow responding to text, I have to be the one starting text conversation, etc..) would you recommend I freeze her out or continue talking to her despite minimal response?

Hey man,

you got a chance, she is clearly comfortable and interested in you. If she's not, she wouldn't let you hold her waist and share a tent with you. With that in mind, stop being a pussy man! You know she wants you, and you know you want her, so let's focus on that. Don't worry about her ex like draper and alpha said, he's not your business. The idea of his presence does not serve you getting what you want, which is her. Also, don't worry about her not getting over her ex, how she's talking to another female about the situation and not to you. You never know, she might be talking about you and how she's sharing a tent with you or something, I don't know, but that's not the point. The point is you worrying about the things that does not relate to you being with her is a waste of thoughts and energy. Don't focus on what you don't want or need to get what you want. Focus solely on what you want. That means don't let her mix emotions and actions affect you. You are yourself, you are responsible for your own actions and thoughts, don't let her be responsible for your behavior and influence you. Focus on having fun with or without her. When you guys are actually together, don't focus on anything beside the moment that you guys share together. Focus on having FUN. Focus on how attracted you feel towards her and this attraction that she may have for you. Just worry about having a good time with her, and just be there with her, and just worry about that. Don't worry about her problems, don't worry if she's okay, or she likes you. If she doesn't she wouldn't do the things she does with you, right? Don't let your little wussy boy, monkey critic, make you doubt yourself. You are the man, you are attractive, and it is obvious you are doing something right to have her spend time with you. Just assume she likes you, and just go with the flow. Don't ask her if she likes you, that's like asking a girl if the sex is good while having sex. It shows uncertainty, if you are confident you will just know. Know what I'm saying? As for her unresponsiveness about texting, don't worry about it. If she doesn't respond, go find something better to do than wait. At least you're doing something right? If she doesn't reply, you don't reply. Even if she does replies, you don't have to reply right away, you don't have to drop everything you do at the moment just to reply back to her. She can wait, and if you're not doing anything at the moment, reply and find something to do. Don't do nothing, just be a guy who has a life. Don't let her be the center of your life, you're suppose to be the center of your own life, and she is only a part of it. So act like it! That's all I gotta say, good luck man.


- Nelson

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So you're saying I'm still in the friend zone after all that?

Idk, you should ask more experienced PUAs.