Girl I'd been talking to.



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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 12:50 am 
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Location: Lake Charles, LA
So for the past two weeks I've been talking to this girl that I met and FC'd the same night. (I don't think it should count, seeing as she was rather drunk. Regardless; HB7, so I'm pretty happy with that.)

Up until now I've played the Nice/Sweet Guy card, and It's gotten me nowhere. Conversations with her have dropped to non-existent levels from constant flirting previously. I think I may have overdone the needy shit and reduced my value to an all-time low with her; so she feels she can just walk all over me and ignore me.

I always ended up in this situation with girls before; and that's why I'm going to try and change my game and turn things around for myself.

My main concern at this point, though; is whether or not this is salvageable. If it isn't; it's as easy as a phone call; but I'd like to know what you guys think I can do in this situation.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 2:40 am 
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Hey. I have been here before. There is a simple rule to follow. You can always Re-Engage a girl, or in this case a girl who has lost interest. There needs to be a "shift" in your game as you mentioned. Stop being AFC, and start leading. Use the phone and avoid texting. It's cute, but ineffective IMHO. A phone call will seal the deal. She needs some negs too. Knock that bitch off the pedestal!


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 6:30 am 
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Thanks for the input, Nov!

Since she'd been using the "Problems Going On" excuse; I decided it was time to put this to a stop and cut her off until further notice. If I didn't have the balls to speak my mind to one girl; how could I approach the thousands of others out there?

I gave her a call; and this is about how it went:

(She was partying and drinking for the third+ night in a row; so I had her get to where she could hear me.)

"So, I'm not cool with how you've been treating me lately. You've got shit going on? Well guess what; so does everyone else. That doesn't entitle you to being so cold. Here's a thought. You can take some time to get your shit sorted out; and until then, we're putting this on hold."

After that I didn't spare a second for any bullshit, gave her a stern "Goodbye," and hung up as soon as I heard her say it back.

I'm done with this AFC crap. Tomorrow I'm going to the mall to work on the basic approach exercises to build my confidence. I'll be sure to update on my progress from there.

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~and after all; we're only ordinary men.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 12:01 pm 
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Quote:
Nice/Sweet Guy card,
Why would you ever play this? No matter how good your hand is, you'll lose if you play this. Might as well be the joker or instructions "Card" I don't see anything wrong with texting (within reason) as long as it augments your game and it doesn't become your only means of communication.
Quote:
"So, I'm not cool with how you've been treating me lately. You've got shit going on? Well guess what; so does everyone else. That doesn't entitle you to being so cold.
Also- this has care face written all over it. The whole point is you should never even notice that things aren't going the way you want, you should be out gaming other women and THEN if she gets her shit together you make a move. Every ounce of this has AFC written all over it. Move on. It happens, we all go through it.


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:44 pm 
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I agree. I high valued male doesn't notice the "noise" of an interaction. A positive that I can note is that at least this was well thought out, and conscious decision. It's often better to think things through, and know the consequences before doing them :D


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PostPosted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:58 pm 
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Quote:
I agree. I high valued male doesn't notice the "noise" of an interaction. A positive that I can note is that at least this was well thought out, and conscious decision. It's often better to think things through, and know the consequences before doing them :D
I continue to battle with that myself, so you are not alone. Unintended consequences are something to be considered before making any decision but, are very hard to predict. The only way I have found (with women at least) is to shut down the logical side of your brain and feel it.

I once dated a girl who I wasn't that into, but, I wanted to give her a chance, so I told her: "Look, I like you, but I am not in a place right now for anything serious and I want to explore other options. I still want to go out and get to know you, but, I am just not ready for serious. I just thought it was best to be honest and up front."

To me it seemed like a reasonable and honest admission. Something worthy of praise. To her however, (and apparently it was plain to any female friend I spoke to about it) it sounded like: "You're not good enough for me and I am going to date you till I find something better." Haha. Not my intention but reality is not the same as perception. For weeks after that as I tried damage control (partially out of guilt) she would continually insert the phrase "other options" as a way to stick it to me.

Learn to harness that impulsive, jump-without-looking side of you. It is a powerful ally and a strength if you can control it. Great men posses it. But like any powerful gift, you must learn to use it first!


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