Was doing some reconnaissance of a pool hall/bar, gauging the SPAM and such. Super hot bartender smiles and chats me a bit, but I speak to her mostly over my shoulder and ignore the hell out of her. Shortly thereafter, slightly less hot (but still extremely attractive) bartender deliberately chats me up. I give her the same SPAM, but ease into her getting a bit more of my attention, and let her have a conversation with me. Going pretty well, to the extent I start to think "wtf, am I going to end up with the hottest chick I've seen in this town (besides her coworker)?"
She let it slip in the conversation that she has a boyfriend. Normally wouldn't phase me and I'd mostly behave as though she never said it, but it was in the context of dude being with his dying father, them having been together for 5 years.
I wasn't sure what to do. After successfully changing the subject, I excused myself by standing up, smiling, extending my hand and saying "We'll probably never meet again, but I enjoy the sound of your voice and respect your professionalism." (a lot of her talk was about her job and how dressing like she has to for that job is better than being a Stripper. I managed to avoid looking at her breasts 100% of the time, but they were relatively exposed)...
She replied "Aw, you could hit me up on Facebook!" (I had already started to walk away).
I told her "I deleted my Facebook. If you wanted to stay in touch, you'd have to get to know me better." I figured this would give her about 4 seconds to be extra bold and ask for my number as I walked away... of course, she did not.

Doesn't matter that I told her we'd never meet again. It was polite and casual, and wasn't a commitment.

I already know bartenders are tough, much less smokin hot bartenders. I would have to develop a decent plan before I went back in. Maybe the sad boyfriend was some kind of diabolical test.

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Easy

Well, I want to appreciate your inner core values.

Even if it was a shit test, you felt bad for hitting on the girl because her guy is doing his bit with his dying father.

I read in a poll, women rated "Empathy" as one of the top 5 qualities they want in men. You seem to have it. Don't feel bad about it. Be proud.

And you handled it exceedingly well at the end. Excellent Formal and Polite Frame. That woman must be used to guys hitting on her left right and center and wanting to grope her or something, you just extended a hand. In her head, you're already different from a lot of them.

Next time you go to the bar, talk to her and tell her that while you are attracted to her, as a man you just have to respect what her boyfriend is doing and that it must be hard for the both of them. If it's a shit test, she'll come clean about that. If it's not, you've just become a greater man, in her eyes. Who knows? She might set you up with the other bartender or some hot friend.

Good luck.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Alrighty, I'll give that a swing. Thanks for the reply.

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It's been 2 weeks since I was at that pool hall, so it's likely the HB9 won't remember me at all. That thought is not going to deter me from heading there tonight. Update to follow tomorrow morning.

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HB9 bartender was not at work. Friend and I established position at a good pool table near a corner of the layout. 2 HB8 waitresses take their break near us, claiming we are "the most chill guys in the place," though this was almost definitely their usual break place regardless. I target the more superficial of the two, and end up drawing massive amounts of attention from the other. I continue with the primary target until she resorts to a pattern that makes me realize that she feels she's pretty enough to NEVER chase a man... she MUST be chased. Unwilling to accept that, I readjusted my target to the other HB8. Before long, I had them both so attracted the friend that was with me was amazed. I had to physically push them away (gently, encouraging them to check on their customers) to give myself some space and time. Near the end of the night, I was having a deep conversation with the new target, and she secured us safety within the bar even after most of the lights were out. I used "We should continue this conversation. Put your number in my phone." She replied something to the effect of "You can't just get it that easy." "Get it?" I replied, "What is it? Here, just put your number in my phone." She wasn't having it.

Essentially she was asking me to come back and see her at work again. I told her I would not be returning to the place, because it is a bit slow for my taste. This is not part of a game to me; I have only 5 weeks left here, and enough people clawing to hang out that I have no business spending any more time in such a plain locale. Also, I am targeting hired guns and 8+ because I feel it's the best way to achieve mastery, but I still hang on to the notion that on some level a hired gun is ALWAYS playing some kind of game geared toward raking in more regular customers... She still smiled and refused. The friend I was with feels strongly that I pushed too hard in the beginning, making her feel in the long run that she just couldn't give me her number right then. I have no intentions of going back, though I am proud of the way I repeatedly worked conversation and maintained dominance in the face of two HB8s flirting and vying for attention.

I learned that I should be prepared to use a sort of "Here's my number. You have all the power now. It's up to you." as a last resort of refused her number so stiffly, and that I should reel in my "push" just a bit, even if it's not the target I'm engaging. Also, a personality test I'd hardly rehearsed went flawless ("absolutely perfect") according to the target. I'm proud of that.

Also, this event reinforced the belief that dress is not too important. I was dressed fairly unusual, but nothing like what many would consider "attractive." Most importantly, I didn't look like a slob, I was unique, and I was comfortable.

Overall nothing like a success, but I had a great time and pushed my ego meters toward its rightful place.

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