Hi all,

I'm new to this pua forum and this is my first post ever on here, exciting!!!
I've been reading a lot of posts from other people and I think they are great. The advices had helped me in a lot of ways but now I've encountered a problem of my own and here I am asking for solution for a sticky situation i'm in.

Ok here is the situation, I've recently met a great girl. She is very shy and sensitive but when I got to know her she starts to open up more and is in fact very talkative and share a lot of things about herself. It took her a while to warm up to me though but eventually it got there and we been seeing each other for about 2 months now. Because I work faraway and can only come back to town once a week, the only time I can spend with her is the weekend and its usually saturday. So three months have past now and things were going so great as we have been on about 7 dates and every dates has been a really enjoyable experience with her and I know she enjoys it too. I think this is the girl of my dream because she is a really nice girl and I want to develop a serious relationship with her and I have brought this topic up on date no.4 but she says shes not ready for a relationship and I was cool with it and we continue to see each other once a week. As thing progress further I incorporated kino slowly and and she happily comply with all of it and on date no.6 I ask her "so are things progressing?" and she was like "I think so" and i thought it were smooth sailing from there and we were about to progress the relationship further. However on the subsequent week that I met her for date no.7 she start to have second thoughts and want to talk to me about it and asking if we can just be friends. This has put me into a confusion mode and i'm not sure exactly what happened. She start explaining that when I see her everything is great and conversation flows but when we are not together she feel like we don't communicate enough and that she still feel uncomfortable calling me and I wouldn't be the first person that she feel to be the one to tell something to (I usually wait 2 days to text her and prolly text her once a day or every two days depending on when she reply back). She feels that she talks to her friends more than me and that things we do are just what friends would do but the only difference is that we hold hand and cuddle and hug like a couple (I don't think so because I went ice skating with her, dinner, bowling, minigolf and desserts etc). To make things short she is taking a step backward and ask if we can just be friends and she doesn't want to lose me as a friend. She also says she still doesn't know much about me. I can't see what the main problem is and I'm getting a lot of mix signal, like is she really seeing me just a friend or is she wanting to take a step back to find more about me because we are not communicating enough before we can progress it to anything further. Opinions and insight into this situation from other people would be great.

In all honesty (this is just my take) first, you don't have a job that allows for stability which is what a girl is going to be looking at it if she's considering you for a relationship. Second, you took things WAY too slow. You've been dating for 2 months and only went out 7 times? Dude, you're just a diversion at that point until she finds something more local and available. When you're getting a girl you got to stay fresh and strike while the iron is hot. Momentum is key. I understand the old school "courting" having grown up in an aristocratic Southern family, but it just doesn't make any sense. I would escalate, drive forward, and go for broke. If it doesn't work, move on and find someone else. Also, don't ever ask a girl if things are progressing, just go until she says stop. You should also be pushing Kino on the first date. Like I said, WAYYYYYY too slow.

That was the only thing worth taking a look at.

Bravo!

A text once a day or once every two days? And you are aiming to build attraction with this woman? Man, I feel sad for you. You need to stay in touch with her a lot when you're not physically present with her. She will start associating you with her daily routine.

Yes, not one text a day, but maybe 30-40 odd when you are NOT seeing her. She isn't wrong to say that she talks to her friends more than she talks to you. It's probably right too.

You've been given the "Let's Just Be Friends" speech because you didn't take the right steps to establish yourself as something more in her eyes. It's already tough enough with you visiting only on the weekends and yet, you don't maintain ENOUGH contact with her when you're away, must've put the final nail in the coffin, as to say.

My advice would be, to tell her that, you are sorry but you just cannot be friends with her, there are too many things between you both to walk down that road. Tell her that you could just be something more or nothing. And for God's sake, start texting her more.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I think she is just being realistic. she probably does like you and think you are a good guy and has fun with you but you are only present 1 day out of the week.

Is this living and workaway far away a short temporary thing or is it the way it is and the way it is always gonna be?

If this is permanent she probably just doesn't want to be in a once a week, long distance relationship. It is probably just as she has described and she has more interaction and more involvement and support etc from regular people that are in her life every day.

I think her friendzone comment is really a way of saying that she does not want to be committed to you and that she wants to keep her options open to date other people should someone else come along that catches her eye.

I can't say that I really blame her.

If you are over 25, have a permanent and steady job and are in a place in life you are ready to settle down with "the one" and you truly in your heart believe that she is "the one" then you have a couple choices.

One choice is to pack your bags and move closer to her to be with her. This is a big gamble and a big risk. You need to be sure in your heart that she is the one and that you are willing to do this to be with her.

You may also ask if she would consider moving to be closer to you but at that point she would be within her right to state that if she were to rearrainge her life for you that she will only do this if she has a ring on her finger and date scheduled at the church.

Either way you are going to have to show her you are serious. Either you pack your shit and rearrainge your life for her. Or you get down on one knee with a ring and a date and ask her to rearrainge her life for you.

If you are not serious enough to do either of those things then she is right and she is doing the right thing for her in keeping her options open and not locking herself into a relationship that really can't go anywhere.