so the girl i see at a dance every week and we flirt, the one who i invited to a nightclub the first time i met her and she said yes and then left without exchanging contact info, then i sent her a message saying id wanna go to a coffeeshop with her and she did not reply, but we still keep dancing and flirting just dont talk about it, and then she invited me to her party and then left me hanging as to the details so i got stood up like that, then gave fake apology, anyway we still dance and flirt, but now that i dont pursue her anymore, she has been hinting she wants me to ask her to anything I do (like salsa and hip hop dancing) and when i say how she can do it on her own she looks disappointed and loses interest, then last week i showed with a hot girl who was into me, and now that she saw me with a hot chick, now all of a sudden she said she has my number so she can call me. i said she does not have my number cause i never gave it to her and she said oh yes i have ( i did email the number when i asked her to the coffee shop months before) but i tell her she is not allowed to call me, but then say if she does call me she should use her sexy voice (thats me trying to flirt) and she says she does not have a sexy voice, but she also says that i do not have her number (hinting she wants me to have her number). i said no seriously you are not allowed to call me. i think answering with a negative (no you are not allowed to call me) is a flirtation killer, cuz the dr burns book says to always answer in the positive/affirmative when someone flirts with you. so i should have said something like 'if you call me ill be a lucky man' or 'what if you call me and a woman picks up the phone?' or 'i dare you to call that number i gave you and see what happens' but i think i rescued myself with 'use your sexy voice if you do call me' also me saying she is not allowed to call me is me playing hard to get and and doing a little reverse psychology but also i actually do not want to go on a date with this girl because she flaked out on me already and i want a girl who gives me more respect than that. there is just so many other younger and hotter girls that turn me on (this is one is somewhat of a crush but does not turn me on sexually that much, shes kinda intimidating, but charming too) cause i know a girl who flakes and who leads me on only to what, drop me again? i dont want the hearache or the problems with a girl like that.

a female friend who is a 3/10 whom i've gone on a dancing and movie watching date in the past messaged me she wants to see a movie again. last time i just put my hand around her during the movie and she was ok with it, but this time she did not like it and said my thumb is too heavy and took my hand off her shoulders. we still hug each other hi/goodbye and i gave her a kiss on the cheeck when i met her today but not when we parted. it is good opportunity for me to practice hugging and kissing on the cheeck and also being on a date and just out with a woman in public, i tend to be awkward and a little weird, the way i act, so its good for me, the more experience the more i loosen up. i did not want to kiss her on the lips because she is not hot enough for me, but i did want to kiss her neck (women seem to like it when i do that), but unfortunately she did not let me put my hand around her shoulders. thats probably cause she is inexperienced and insecure, i try to keep it in perspective and not feel rejected or mad at her. after the date i went to a bar and started dancing. women started standing near and around me and three female friends started dancing with me. they got bored though and left. i can get noticed for dancing sleak and sexy and having fun on my own, and women stand near me and flick their hair or even dance with me, it happens every time i go out and start dancing on my own, but i cannot capitalize on the initial attention i get.

i am thinking i really ought to put more effort into work and buying groceries, cooking for myself, and keeping my apartment clean and organized and talk to my family more - do everything i am procrastinating on and also dress up. then i might also approach and try to flirt with strangers wherever i go as a side hobby.

Updates:

Good:
-my uncle's gf set me up with on of her clients, a girl three years younger than me who told her she is single and does not have anyone. so i got a surprise friend request form a strange female, did not know who it was, until my uncle told me about this girl, and i realized she friend requested me. so we messaging back and forth on facebook, and i am trying not to sound weird. my plan is to talk to her so she gets to know me, not ask her out right away. my mom was on a dating site and she said strange guys messaged her out of nowhere saying "hey can let me pick you up in an hour, lets go see a movie" and for the women it's a shock because they have no idea who the guy is and why is he asking them out so soon? so i am guess i will talk to her for like 4 back and fourth messages, and i am hoping to take her to a dance in two days. it depends on the messages though, if she shows interest in me.

-i was on the train with girls who spoke my native language and had a good conversation with them, i think i stared at one of the girl's boobs, because she zipped up her sweatshirt. i did not want to ask them for their number because the convo died down and i only said "hey i like this thing in your hair" as a way of flirting. and i did not wanna creep them out by pushing for their number, so i told one of them "hey this is my name you can add me on fb if you want" i am wondering, if i had a short 10 min convo and by the end they seemed to lose interest, should i push for a number? arent my chances better by seeming less desperate and less creepy and letting them chase me if they want by giving them my fb and having them add me if they wish? the whole be prepared to lose them in order to have them concept?

-i got a reply from a really ugly fatty with missing teeth on okcupid. she sounds very positive and fun, even childlishly naive, she likes fish at the aquarium. should i ask her out just for practice? everyone i would ask except maybe my therapist would say GOD NO and i cringe when i look at a pic of this girl, but hey, if i went on a date with her it would help me loosen up, i would get to know her, i could possibly have fun, she might introduce me to one of her friends, it would give me practice with figuring out what i want and not acting to please the woman on a date rather than pleasing myself. getting up and leaving and rejecting a girl might good practice or on the other hand doing something enjoyable together would be good practice too. i have nothing to lose. i dont have to do anything i dont want. i dont have to see her again or act like i like her.

-through flirting while dancing my flirting skills are a litte better, but im finding i talk very weird and like an idiot when i try to flirt. im gonna keep doing it, but really, there is so much awkwardness in my conversations. its frustrating and seems hopeless.

-i figured that girls take care of themselves - go to spa, dress up, use beauty producs, so should i! i had acne, and i think maybe thats a reason why girls are not going on a second date with me and why im not getting good convos when i approach girls. so im gonna try and improve my skin on my face. i did research and it turns out there are lot of myths spread around online by ppl saying that this or that causes acne. in reality, doctors and science does not know, there is weak evidence for different causes. but there is anecdotal evidence that going on a diet can help at least reduce the acne. some people say eliminating sugar, greasy foods, milk, wheat, caffeine, etc. helps. since there is no reasearch to say that diet helps, and the anecdotal evidence says different things, i think its a bad idea to deprive yourself of nutrients. but why not go on a junk-food free diet anyway? it cannot hurt. so i have stopped eating sugar, so no chocolate, ice cream, or cake for me anymore! i am still gonna eat wheat and milk though. just mostly no sugar and eventually i dont wanna eat any junk food either. also i got an oil-free alcohol-free face cleanser and i washed my face with it, then put on face moisturizing cream, then spot applied salicilic acid to individual pimples. the cleanser dries up the skin and you gotta remoisturize the skin esp before bedtime. i have the oily skin type. i think salicilic acid prob hurts the skin just like alcohol does, but it also kills bacteria and i figure its fine for individual pimples. they scar anyway when they pop. also i got an organic lip balm. i figure if i keep putting lip balm on it will make my lips look better. also i am partially bald, and i have been doing my own haircuts with and andis improved master clipper. i do it in front of the mirror and it take me half an hour to cut my head myself. it saves me a lot of money on hair cuts. i got a small hand held mirror so i can see back of my head and my neck so i can clip the hair all clean there too. the andis improved master clipper is supposed to be the best (i search on barber forums for reviews) but it has a lever that you turn and it changes the cutting length. well if you press the clipper too hard into your had, it turn the lever, so sometimes, i look and see that i accidentally changed the length while doing my hair cut, which means i've got to go to the shortest setting to fix it now. i think if you are careful not to press too hard, you will be fine, but you have to keep checking whether the lever has moved every so often while you are cutting your hair to make sure you have not changed the length by accident. also i use a vacuum cleaner with a hose so it sucks the hair off of the clipper right up. otherwise the hair just piles up and makes it harder to cut. also i vacuum the clipper and put one drop of oil after each time. the manual recommends too, but it also says if you over oil, hair + oil + guck. so i put just one. also i use the same clipper for my beard. if i have a pimple, it cuts it and there is blood sometimes if the pimple is big. i wonder maybe since i do not put the clipper into alcohol (im not sure if it would break it) that maybe the clipper hurting my skin also gives me little infections and causes pimples.

-my sister told me i need to work out because girls like a little muscle. i do not work out at all and even though i am well built, i am much skinnier than many guys. working out is so popular now, i've gotta work out to compete and also i would look a ton better. i am starting to do yoga again also push ups and pull ups and sit ups.

Bad:

-i have been using the wrist counter and pressing it every time i think a positive thought. it's helped me psych myself up, but it has a mild effect still. i have not been doing written CBT/Positive Psychology exercises and i have not been meditating. I've been battling passivity and procrastination, going to sleep late, getting up, turning off the alarm, and sleep until 11am. i have been dressing sloppy too. and i have just started applying for jobs. it took me a week to finish my resume, and i could have done it half a year ago. i still dont have a licence, and i need to reapply to get a duplicate permit, because i lost mine.

-i was a bar/night club, and two girls started dancing in front of me giving me, looking in my direction occasionally. i got AA and also 5 guys surrounded them and started approaching them, and eventually, these girls began hooking up with two of these guys. on one hand, i dont wanna get any guys jealous and dont wanna compete openly, but i do feel like if i had approached with confidence and acted a little like a cocky jerk, they could have hooked up with me too. if i get IOIs I just turn to the girl and say Hi how are you? and try to flirt, but does not seem to work. guys who look like AFC but who are tall and work out, they just ram into girls, i dont know what they say, but the girls either leave them or they hook up with them. i see guys who hook up, and they just come up to a girl, and stand near her, and the girl looks uninterested at first but then she complies and ends up hooking up. it does not matter now though.

Good

-I have made a resolution not to ever go to a bar or a night club without a date! i've spent so much time going out, spending a whole evening, coming home late, and barely talking to 2-3 different girls! such a waste of time! and given that even when i got to talk or dance with a girl, it turned out a flake or just one date and then no 2nd date, and with so many guys competing at the bars and with girls being in a defensive mood, and me not being the hottest guy in the bar, i think i better not go there anymore and try working on dressing better, have better hygiene and work out and become happier through CBT and Positive Psych and also if i am bored i am much better off taking a dance lesson to meet women - even though its a taboo to ask women out on the dance floor, i still get to talk and flirt with the women and i get to hold the women. i can go to events, just not singles bars or clubs anymore. no more of that! for a little while at least, as an experiment.

that 20 yo hot girl that i had only date with a month ago, she lives in my area, and i saw her outside twice, once with a guy going somewhere, and once on her own, she was walking the same way i was to the train station. i felt my anxiety shoot up when i saw her because i was worried what she would think of me, how i was dressed, that i was alone and not with friends (embarrassed of my alonenness) and that seeing me scares her and makes her uncomfortable because there is something that creates awkwardness about me. its sort of illogical on my part, but thats how i feel. cause if i dont feel like i clicked with a girl and she did not call me back after the first date, then my presence around her is unwanted. i should make a note do some cbt exercises to change that thinking.

i went to a night club by myself again when i was bored and the girls kept dancing in front of me and then acting like "wtf do you think you are doing?" when i tried to dance with them, but then coming back and dancing in front of me again. one slightly chubby chick made eye contact with me and started moving toward me and i started toward her at the same time and we danced a little, but i think she got bored and her friend took her hand and pulled her away. i felt like the dancing was work.

i should really stop going to bars and nightclubs because i almost never talk to anyone there, and just spend $5s and $10s often when i go out, and it takes up the whole evening and i stay up and dont fall asleep until late and then wake up late the next day.

i went to a dance and i think a girl was giving me signals there because she included herself into me and my friend's conversation (as if she wanted me to start to talk to her) and then tried to touch me on the shoulder (but withdrew in hesitation - either she is shy about flirting or i gave off a dont touch my vibe, could be both) and then i kept thinking i should try to flirt with her so i finally mustered the courage to say "i like your shirt" and she responded positively and later i said "i like how you twirl your dress" and she laughed and said thank you again. then later, she left early and she said bye to my friend and said by to me and i touched her shoulder and she touched my shoulder back and we held each other like that for a moment. i dont wanna seem like a guy who asks girls out of nowhere and is obvious about trying to get with a girl, especially at a dance where all the guys are drooling over girls and asking someone out for a guy can get him labeled as a loser or creepy, but i should have at least given her a chance by saying "hey i go to this other dance, gonna go this friday" and then at least she would have a chance to act interested and let me know she wants a date.

i also found a really fat, ugly chick with like missing teeth who is a 1/10 or a zero. she sounded fun and positive on her okcupid profile, so i talked to her and set up a date. she suggested to go to the zoo or something, but i offered a free movie that was playing near where i live because i did not wanna spend the money on the zoo or on going out, free is better and it does not matter for a first date anyway. over the weekend she texted me and i ignored her text. i have to pay $.25 for each text, so its a waste of money and no point to lead her on cause i am not interested in her sexually. so she confirmed and we were supposed to meet, but then she called me today (i liked her voice, she sounded fun and upbeat) and she said her might be breaking down so she is going to cancel the date tonight. i agreed with her and said it is a good reason not to go because her car could break and then she would have to get towed back. so i guess the lesson is to get off okcupid cause i spent an hour sending her directions for the date and now it is cancelled. also, i get like only 5 views a week on profile, for the past like five days no new girls have even looked at my profile.

i have been smiling and saying "hi how are you?" to strangers wherever i go, mostly good looking women. i'd say 40% say hi how are you back. i just greet them on my way and move on, i dont stick around for a conversation. i dont wanna give a vibe like i wanna talk to them, i want it to be "hi im just being nice because i am happy and you look cute but i dont want to talk and am going to keep walking or reading the newspaper or looking at books and do not plan to stick around and talk to you so you have nothing to worry about, i am safe and not going to harass you"

i dressed up and applied for some jobs.

when i get up in the morning and give myself a hair cut and trim my facial hair and nose hair and clean my face with a cleanser and use face lotion and then iron my shirt and dress up nicely before going outside, this makes me feel good. i should start each day with that - pampering myself so i look better. it has a good psychological effect.

Picked up a flake at a coffeeshop. It's a flake, but the conversation was good, shows Im improving! I was walking on the street past my regular coffee shop and saw a girl with nice boobs and blonde hair, but maybe 4 or 5/10. The coffee shop was full but once i walked in, the seat next to her became empty. So i got a tea and a newspaper and sat next to her and looked at her face, smiled, and said "hi how are you?" before I sat. she showed interest by asking me how i am and she continued the conversation. I asked her what she was studying and if she was a local and she said she lives down the st and its moving soon. I told her where i live and that i walked all the way like 1.5 miles to the coffee shop and i asked her if she dances. she told me where she tried going dancing and i told her there is a dance near where she lives. she hinted that she is interested in going dancing with me. but i talked too much and did not give her a chance to chime in and i noticed her losing interest and maybe finding my monologue annoying. i felt tense and awkward while listening to her because i felt like it was inappropriate to have a direct conversation at a coffeeshop or just i was scared that yes we are having a convo. i gave her my fb. i thought i should at least try to flirt with her so i said "i like the earings your are wearing, did you make them?" and she said "no i bought them a department store" and i wanted to support what she said because her reply was not putting herself down or contradicting my compliment so i said "yeah thats a good buy" then after a few minutes i said "ive got to get back to my book" and when i left the coffeeshop because we were sitting under the storefront window, i knocked on the window and winked and smiled and looked her in the eyes casually without stopping and she waved and smiled bye. i thought she might fb message me because i gave her my name, but i knew better, and she still has not contacted me and probably wont. i think the fact that she was hinting that she wants to go dancing with me is a sign of a flake because i know another girl like that who always says she wants to hang out and invites me stuff and then drops me. but still it was a very good convo and she kind of continued it. in retrospect i think i wish i would have listened to her more and asked her questions. but i am sure i will do better next time. the reason its a success is that i have been going around the city saying hi how are you and smiling to random women who happen to be near and this is the second time that this has lead to a pleasant conversation and almost lead to "lets meet" territory. i am just probably rightfully afraid of seeming like i am a creepy guy who hits on women and having them be scared of me and want to get away from me ASAP. so my strategy has been to smile say hi how are you? and then look at their reaction and unless they show interest and start chasing me a little, i retreat and dont pursue any contact with them. if they continue the convo then i put in more work into the convo and ask them something and then agree with whatever they said and try to give them a compliment and flirt a little then ask them if they dance and tell them about a local dance and then exchange contact info.

also i said hi to a girl at a bus stop during the day and she liked talking to me, but she was asperger's type of girl and she did not want to be picked up, just wanted a friendly convo without telling me her name or email and i agreed and said i dont give my name out to strangers either, so we just continued talking and then she left for her stop.

i also said hi to a girl on a bus stop and asked if she would stand up and shield me from the burning sun we were sitting under and i think she got the joke and she sat sit down and i sat down and saw it was much shadier. then she did not continue the convo so i got and went a few steps away and left her alone just not to creep her out. but she did not back away or look scared. i think i am improving in that i am nicer and women are not scared of me when i approach, not like when i tried this six months ago when almost every girl i cold approached got scared.

also i talked to a maybe a lesbian fat girl who was kind of cool, she was doing a crossword and we had a good convo back and forth she did not back away or look scared. she told me stuff on her own (good stuff) but then she was tired of the convo and when she did not reply i dropped it and went back to my book

i asked a male friend of mine if he wanted me to set him up with a girl i mentioned on her in April, a girl who I lied to that I have a friend who is interested in taking her out for a good dancing night, i asked through a mutual female friend, a fatty, and the girl told my friend that yes she will go out with my friend if the fatty and me are at the dance too. i am afraid my male friend wont be interested in being set up for a date because the last two guys i asked were not interested, but this guy said thank you so much and is gonna do it.

also i found a job! i still dont know if i can be competent at it, but i start my orientation soon. i also bought lots of food at a grocery store, i am trying to cook more and i figure if i buy more food sure some might go bad in my fridge but its still much cheaper than spending $10-15 a meal eating out because i have not cooked and i am hungry.

so this girl at a dance lesson i go to who is flirty and dances with me but we are not friends outside of the class, that is how it goes with all girls there, she invited everyone including me to her art show, i talked to her room mate there who happened to sit next to me on her own accord.. well this week the friend says that her room mate was asking "who is this guy?" and she told her "oh don't worry, he is fine, i dance with him, he is cool" so i am afraid that i creeped out the room mate and she went to ask her friend "like who is this weird guy who was hitting on me?" and she had to convince her that she knows me and i am not creepy.. this might just be my imagination, but i am getting a feeling i weird women out..

today at the dance, i flirted with some of my friends, and they flirted back, they are open and approachable and they know me and they enjoy it.. but the new girls i tried to flirt and talk with, seemed to not know where i am coming from and they did not flirt back (or not that ive noticed). i told one that she was cute and she said "excuse me?" like she thought it was a rude comment. and then the other girl i tried to talk to ran away and did not talk much.. i saw a new girl who first told me she was new and looking for friends and was fine during the dance but then i tried talking to her and it was awkward and she cut it short and left.. i saw her message on fb in a group and private messaged her explaining how i saw her message and realized it was her and that i messaged her because there is this sports group nearby that i've used to make friends and so on.. also threw in that i am going to a bbq with some of the friends ive made in that sports group, giving her a chance to hint it if she wants me to invite her, but not exposing me to rejection because i did not ask her directly. i still expect her to be creeped out. but it was worth a chance.

I'm not really sure why this thread was made a sticky but anyway.


Dude, your field reports are hard to read because you've got chunks and chunks of text. Break down each section into paragraphs. I read up until you mentioned some Dr. fellow giving advice on inner self and then just couldn't be bothered reading because the amount of text bunched up together.


I would also be concerned about the lack of input and constructive criticism(it is a good thing) from other members of this forum.

jeez is this what pua is about. i managed to get through the first two pages, and its almost as depressing as 'children in need'. i think you need to play this down a little. start living an enjoyable life, and meet women in the process of said life. youll feel miles better if you start living a little, and the women you meet will sense that.

when i first started going out to events i found online 2-3 years ago, i went to a pick up dodge ball game. one of the girls there invited the players to a bbq at her house, and then of those people who came (they were all people sort of looking for friends), some invited all the dodgeball players who knew each other to their birthday or cook out. so i ended up seeing the same 5-8 dodgeball players a couple of times a year. it's been half a year since i saw this girl, but now i get to know her female friends. i went to a bbq her friend was having at her house. i was chatting and having a good time with 6 women! they were all mostly fat chicks, not women i fancy much, but they are fun and quirky and i want to be friends with them! i added one on fb.

this girl has known me for two years, even though we are not close friends, just talk a little a few times a year (we went country dancing with same female friends half a year ago) and she said that now it is much easier to talk to me! Now I feel comfortable talking to new people and not as awkward in a group like at the bbq, and i can listen to people telling me things and i can spontaneously tell them something or tell a story! i am not as random now as i used to be. she said two years ago i used shudder away and be like 'oh don't talk to me' when someone tried talking to me. it is easier for me to talk to people now, a result of me

-doing group therapy
-going to meetups, events, pick up games, burlesque shows, concerts by myself
-going to bars and nightclubs and hanging out there alone or with pick up buddies (mostly alone)
-being in a shoulder to shoulder shoving crowd in a nightclub lots of times
-learning to dance in front of people by myself like solo dance on an empty dance floor or just solo dance in a crowd
-taking dance lessons and going out social dancing (salsa, etc)
-practicing flirting while social dancing
-doing positive thinking and cbt
-trying new clothes i would never wear and dont feel comfortable at

Sorry about my blog being unreadable guys. I dont expect anyone to read it. I am just keeping a record of things I do for myself. I know this blog is unreadable, even if I go back a few pages, I find it hard to read what I have wrote. I started this blog when I met up with a PUA coach like a year and a half ago. He told me to approach women at a bar and I did. I was surprised that for the first time in my life I got to talk to women! I wanted to approach more and more! Then, I realized cold approaching women sucks balls and the PUA coach probably had bipolar disorder (his moods changed), had very few friends and little or no female friends and he was crazy - cat calling and barging on women, thinking he is like a mafia boss who knows everyone at the night club because he says hi to the door man and the bar tender. That guy kept sending me unwanted texts for few months afterward, even though I never replied.. This blog is about how I am trying to:

-become un-depressed (CBT Dr Burns' books, wristcounter to think a hundreds of positive thoughts during the day, Positive Psychology Dr Seligmen's books, dancing, social dancing in salsa, swing, ballroom, etc. and dancing lessons)
-enjoy more sex/physical touching with attractive women (dance floor game to grind with hot chick at a night club, learning to go solo dance in front of people on an empty dance floor, going to different social dances and getting three dates from there, practice flirting while dancing with different women at the social dances because social dancing is one big flirt fest, asking friends to set me up on dates and trying to set up a male friend on a date, getting more comfortable hugging and kissing women on the cheek, learning to kiss women and more intimate things, learning to talk about grinding or kissing or going to my house to make out on my couch with a woman on a date rather than being shy about it)
-having an easier time talking to people especially in groups (group therapy where an old therapist helps ten of us talk to each other and express our feelings, listen, talk and also learn about ourselves, individual Positive Psychology therapy for depression and learning to think more positive when I ask women out, going out mostly alone to events i found online like concerts, pick up games like dodgeball and frisbee, meetup dot com events, going to bars and night clubs, going to eat in coffee shops and restaurants on my own)
-talking to strangers, mostly attractive women (I plant my feet, smile, and say hi how are you to women who sit near me in coffee shops, who stand near me in a line or on a bus station. It's just practice greeting people. I have never gotten a date this way, only closed 4 times and all the women flaked. But I'm getting more and more positive responses from women! My smile and the vibe I give out to women when I greet them is much better now! And if they want to talk, I throw in something flirty that I learned in dancing, like a wink or a compliment or slight tease.)
-cooking, dressing up, keeping my house clean, working on my job and career and exercising and improving my mental health

Once, I improve so much that I actually pick up women, then I will write field reports..

Good advice! I am doing that with going out social dancing, lots of fun!

just got a well paying job! should i play my job/income as a dhv?

to relax, the first thing i do when i get home from work or wake up in the morning is turn on a "reiki relaxation video" on youtube. relaxing music and meditation videos relax me when i am doing stuff at home. i also write a few ABCDEs and Gratefulness statements to clear my mind from negative thoughts. I find I feel clearer in the morning if i do the CBT and positive psych written exercises before sleep and if i skip a few days without doing them i find i gradually more and depressed. i also search for "guided meditation" on youtube and do two or three meditations before sleep. this really helps! i find i dont worry and brood about stuff in bed in my sleep. it's great! i also filled my fridge with groceries so i dont waste money on eating and eat better. i also bought two more Pronto Uomo $50 dress shirts for work and also to wear to go out if i have to so i look sharp. i get compliments from family members when i wear expensive shirts and women look at me with more admiration when i do. i am making it a point to dress well at work now. when i was a nerd in college and high school i didi not get prompt haircuts and dressed in a cheap nerdy way. no more!

so the strategy of applying to a lot of jobs has worked! i got a call back from one company and now I am working there full time!! this is awesome. i love it

i got a fb invite from a girl from my college class from several years ago. i never was friends with her, but she was friendly to me, and i went to her party year and a half ago when i got an invite even though i did not know anyone other than her there. now i got another invite and even though i have not exchanged more than 20 sentences with this girl in my life time i am still going! i rsvped yes and i bought an outfit or $220 dollars. i got a pair of dark blue jeans, well fitting, not too tight though, i asked the girls who work in the store to help me find jeans that are not too long or too big, and i got a well fitting pink button down shirt and a nerdy gray/light red checkered tie. and im gonna wear the black shoes i already have. i will shine them with my shoe shining kit. i am also going to go and pick out a hat or something to make the outfit look a little outrageous, but not gay. right now i am washing this new clothes on Cold and then will air dry (avoid the dryer, it destroys clothes) and will use slightly warm iron through a cloth to iron it all from the inner, not outer, side of the clothes. so they keep looking new. will give myself a haircut and ask my mom to cut my neck hair and shave before i go. i probably wont use cologne, just take a shower right before leaving. but i might use my dads expensive cologne. i dont know yet. will test out the new outfit tomorrow!

also saturday i am going to a facebook invite to a bbq from a girl who was at a birthday of a guy i played soccer with. when you join an activity like pick up soccer, people invite random people from the activity to their birthday or bbq, and then even i you dont know these ppl well, if you are in touch on facebook, you will get an invite to other bbq's an parties they are making just cause you went to that one.

i only had maybe two hours to spend in the store, not enough to get a good outfit and spend money well, but i decided i just need to get something that matches and looks good and confident (not something reserved) so i bought the pants, shirt and tie in the same store so they match in style. i figured i can use this outfit for both parties on friday and saturday! i figured it was worth spending the $220 in a rush to present myself well.

two weeks ago, in CA, i went to an acquaintances party today. i was the best solo dancer and people cheered me on to dance. but i did not try to lead a dance with a girl other than once shyly, and leading a girl in a partner dance, a girl who cannot dance, is where it's at. the people would sit with their backs to everyone in a corner and just acting shy at the party, their social skills or whatever is not good enough to be open to meeting new people. there were some slightly older people who were easier to befriend though. i sent a fb invite to the people i got along with and sent a thank you email to the organizer of the party. i invited people to another party. they might show up and its worth a chance. i was dressed up and people liked my outfit but i did not get connected with anyone, just some average convos, a little flirting, thats good, but no outside friends made. its the people there though, not me. just cliquey shy people who are not open to meeting and befriending new people. also my two friends gave me a ride there and back. saved me cab money. nice to have friends who can give you rides.