I can't figure this girl out any suggestions would be great. I know it is long, sorry!

My girl of 7 months broke up with me 2 months ago, because of my insecurities and me never trusting her.

Little bit about her: her last boyfriend 4 years ago killed himself, and she blames herself.
Shes hasn't called anyone her boyfriend or said "i love you" to anyone but me since her ex who died.

I met her halloween 2010. She was still talking to this guy who she had been hooking up with throughout october. The kicker is she could not let her roommate find out because the roommate had always liked this guy, and that's how they met. This was pseudo relationship was dwindling away when I came into the picture. ( this situation always bothered me )

Also before me there was this co-worker "fred" she had a thing for for 3 years. shes had sex with him twice. once in june of 2010 ( while she was in another pseudo relationship according to her with another guy eddie ) and once in august 2010.

We got together in november 2010 broke up early june 2011. After reading the texts between her and her co-worker "fred". (Ya I know this is super pathetic) She has always wanted something more with him and he just plays games with her.

pretty much right up until me and her started getting serious her and fred were always trying to hang out but had conflicting schedules. Quote " I can go forever not seeing him, but we chat I melt" ( text to one of her girlfriends back in september 2010 ) she fucking sweats this kid bad.

Anyways we are together for a while, things were up and down. She was completely loyal to me. And I know this because I would look at her cell phone bills ( I know pathetic.... I had a bad case of oneitis ) She had no idea about me spying on her.

Then she breaks up with me early june 2011. A week and a half after we break up she goes to visit this guy fred at his work with her friend. this was a saturday. the following monday I come to her apartment to get the rest of my stuff. She later texts me and wants to take me out for ice cream on tuesday. We have great sex that night. From then on we start hanging out, fucking a lot, dropping I love yous, sleep overs, and dates. Then in late june I ask her " are we getting back together or are you just leading me on because I know about fred"

she said she wanted to be my girl again and flips her clatter ring around. 5 days later she said she didn't feel the spark and tells me she is confused about fred. And I say well.. I am gonna be no ones second choice and she begs me to stay. (I have never seen this pompous girl beg before either).

and for 2 weeks we don't see each other. Then i call her up one day. we talk, cry and end up setting up a date to go out. Have a lot of fun. shit felt really good. And we have been hanging out, fucking, dating, ever since july7 2011.

We are both still single on facebook, and according to her she is not talking to fred anymore. I do not know for sure because I do not have access to her phone records anymore.

Shes been buying me dinner, buying me gas, fucking me like we have never fucked before. Dropped $250.00 on my b day. Brings me lunch at work, gets jealous, and rubs my fucking feet.

I do not fucking understand this girl. Should I ride this out and keep other girls on the line? or should I just drop it now? ( only problem is I am still fucking in love with her I can't help it )

As a precaution I have been talking to other girls since we broke up. She has known this but as of july 7th she thinks I have stopped.

Thanks for reading.. I know this is a pathetic post.

I would ride it out and have a lot of other girls too. It sounds like she just wants an open relationship. She obviously doesn't want to find love right now so just keep it open, if you can't handle that get rid of her.

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You need to be Fred. I would keep it going as long as you can. I know that when you love someone who does not feel the same about you it always ends up hurting, but hey enjoy it while it lasts, and keep something else lined up.

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If you don't like something change it... And never regret anything because at one point in your life it was exactly what you wanted.

Man, you're living a fantasy. Enjoy it.

Stop over thinking. And you want to keep this girl? Become a man. Not Fred or Phil or similar crap. Just become a strong willed guy who gets what he wants. Including her.

AND stop becoming so snoopy of her. Texts? Telephone bills? Made me cringe. God help you, if she ever becomes aware of that.

And you are what you think of yourself. From your post the keyword is 'pathetic'.

Start changing your view of yourself and she'll change hers of you too.

Be direct and tell her exactly what you want to. She might be surprised at that change, but eventually she'll be more attracted to you for it.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

I appreciate everyone's constructive criticism. I will ride it out and just keep other girls lined up like I have been doing...

This girl turned me into such a mushy pile of AFC. That ain't ever happening again.

i agree fred ride it out while you are steadily lining them up, so if it does happen to go sour you will be just fine