the story for me is that it seems i always screw up when it matters the most. its been a while since i've met a girl i would actually want to start a relationship with but please read on!

first off we met while i was bartending at an event (90% females). her and her friends invited me out and they were all beautiful girls, fun, classy, and down to earth.

we had a great night, i learned the one i was interested in had a boyfriend of 2 yrs but she is moving and admitted she doesn't see it working out as she'd like. we wandered around downtown both a bit tipsy, we held hands as we walked through crowds etc and were very touchy.

well the night ended in an unusual way which i'll leave out just so opinions aren't unnecessarily formulated and i don't think is a very important detail.

but she called today and we both admit we want to see eachother when she moves down my way. she will be making the move this coming week in the next few days.

what do i do? should i tell her how i feel? i've only known her for just over 24 hours that would be creepy. but it was just one of those nights where we opened up and felt real close, one of those rare type of relationships you know.

or should i just play it cool, and just let it happen? wait for her to get a hold of me? should i text her a goodnight message and smiley?

by the way we are both graduates from the same university and both starting our careers. which makes it such an attractive match in my opinion.

i'd like any words of advice from the experts here please

by the way to clarify, the university and bartending event where we met were in the same location. i moved to my current location (about 3 hrs away from the event) for a job offer. it is actually near her hometown and is where she will be working and moving back to this week (lucky me).

let me know if i can clarify anything thanks again

I know you think she is the 'one' and how everything is perfect but no. Don't even think that way, woman are replaceable until you are actually in a meaningful relationship.

If you feel like she's the one for you straight off the bat, you'll come off as needy. But at the same time, don't neglect her because you want to make your intentions clear.

I don't know your text game with her but no super long messages, don't respond right away and instead of "good night " make it, "hey night owl, i know you have a lot to talk about but im tired so lets save that for tomorrow "

yes i agree, i also actually just don't know if i'm being too cold. if i "ran game" last night i can assure that it would have been in the bag, or at right when you think you're gonna get it but declines just to be a tough girl but i don't run "game" anymore, its just not me.

instead i was just being myself, more reserved and to the point. i think its a little different than what shes used to, and i'm not sure if it was the fun bartender that she likes more or the calm/interesting side that attracts her more to me.

*sigh* i guess its too soon to tell. i'll cuddle up with the cell phone tonight, subconsciously awaiting a buzz from her lmao. what a softie i know, i guess thats what happens when you meet someone you're really into.

You don't just run the game when you want to or not. While I'm learning 'the game', I think of it as how to better myself, how to evolve into the person I want to become. It isn't the matter of turning on my charm when I want to or not, it is who I am and how I behave.

Don't let a woman rule your life. If you want to talk to her, call her. Don't wait for her to text back. Take charge, know what you want from her and go for it.

my dilemma though is that 100% of the time when there is a girl i am into similar to this, it just never works out. i never get the girl that i want, but of course there have been other girls, but never have i been interested in them like this girl now.

i think i just have to let it happen, there was enough of a connection last night i think that the next time we see eachother (hopefully there will be a next time) then i'll try to make a subtle close. she has a bf though, so if she makes the decision to get with me while she is still with him, no bueno.

our phone call earlier i kept a pretty indifferent tone and left her with an "alrite well keep in touch", and i wasn't really sweating her or giving the "head over heels" vibe.. i honestly think she has probably tried convincing herself today not to fall for me.

so as of now its just a waiting game, i'll post back with updates

Hey there how's it going?

First off let me tell you that you don't want to tell her how you feel, you want to show her.If she rejects you when you're telling her how you feel it'll just be painful. You want to go for the k-close when she comes over and not at the end but somewhere at the middle. If she denies you just want to brush it off like nothing ever happened. But be aware for shit tests such as "we shouldn't be doing this". If she pulls a shit test just say "You're right we shouldn't be doing this" and continue what you're doing, which is k-closing.

You only live once, make the most of it.

Yes, yes people here will tell you to not fixate on one girl, to go around kissing 10 more all the time, so that you're not attached, to "freeze out" blah blah

I'm going to tell you to do the opposite.

I assume you had a great time with her last night, just reply with that.

"I had a nice time last night. Looking forward to seeing you again."

There. Short and to the point. You let her know how good it was for you, and that'd give her a good feeling, if she felt the same. Also, you said that you'll be awaiting your next encounter with her. She'll feel "liked" by you.

Now, don't confess your love. Don't buy flowers and all that. Just be yourself, the way you were before anything happened between you two. 'Cause that's the guy she likes, not some uber-romantic version of him. At this point, give her a feeling that even though something's changed, you are the same guy. Mostly. Talk to her as you do normally BUT subtly, she should also be made aware of the fact that you both share an attraction. How? That's for you to figure out.

Someone says, "I like this girl a lot." and people here jump and say "freeze out!", "oneitis!" and "go screw 12 girls ASAP". I don't believe that. If you do like a girl that much and it is mutual, give it time and effort. Any girl can be won over.

Good luck.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

well you went out, enjoyed eachothers company, you banged her, you have a genuine interest in her beyond sex, why don't you just continue hanging out with her and trying to make her feel good?, don't get all crazy IM IN LOVE WITH YOU after 1 snl, spend more time and just like physical/sexual escalation, turn up the im super into you mode over time, just don't turn it up to the point she says HOLY FUCK THIS GUY CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT ME, just hang out enjoy eachothers company and show her you like making her feel good,

thanks everyone, woke up this morning still feeling the same about this girl. not so hungover anymore though so i've been piecing it all together. pretty sure how it went down is she was interested in me since the bartending event. her bf wasn't around and it was her last night with all her friends in town so they invited me out so i could court her.

i think she became even more interested knowing we were going to be living near eachother soon. where it went bad is we lost the rest of the group and went hunting for them around downtown. after walking around to a few places we made our way back to where we originally were and found her girlfriends there. since we had left from that place in a hurry to keep up with her friends, i told them i had to go back inside and get my card. took about 10 minutes, came out and they were gone.

we were all pretty drunk, i had her cell phone number but her phone was dead. in my pocket was one of the other girl's phones which i still have.

so the night ended as i drove around looking for them, couldn't find them so i left a note on the girls car we all came in with my cell #, and took a taxi back to my car and called it a night.

part of me is upset that they went on without me and probably danced the night away, or worst case she met up with some other guy and had a good time with them. i know a couple of them including her had work early in the morning so it couldn't have been "one of those" type of nights anyway.

another part of me is sad that i let them get away, i was genuinely a bit worried "what if someone got hurt?" "what if they are wasted and need help?"

by the way, all of the above is the detail i left out from the OP. i don't think i was ditched, then again i don't think six model-worthy girls would want to stand around waiting for me to get my card back. plus i still have the girls phone and everyone's phone was dead, so i don't think they had cruel intentions.

had i stayed with them, it would be very different lol. but it was a good time nonetheless. bottom line is we had a good time, was cool with all her friends, she gave me her number, held hands and had a good connection etc. i don't think i'm going to "go for what i want" this time, but rather i will keep it at i know what i want and will let it happen and not skip any steps.

the best things in life are worth waiting for right? so we'll see what happens

'' i told them i had to go back inside and get my card. took about 10 minutes, came out and they were gone. ''

they could have waited......They didnt
she could have waited.....she didnt
she could have said we are going to bla bla....follow us there......she didnt


Never lie to yourself............she/they ditched you......ocham's razor


p.s Never go on those '' lets go find my friends trips with women'' it always ends walking around aimlessly from place to place..usually in pouring rain..and never finding the said friends

this changes everything i thought the night ending in an unusual way was you banged her, she ditched you, you held her hand, WTF IS THIS SHIT, freeze this little jewbag out, hand holding is LOW LOW LOW investment compliance, you should be able to get a handhold/shoulder compliance within 30 seconds of meeting a girl, probably easier then getting her to tell you what qualities make her a special person, don't waste your time on this, 2 weeks, no contact, be more of a man, get more sexual, state more intent, HAVE MORE FUN, KISS FFS, not this lil hand holding BAWWWW SHE TOUCHED MY SHOULDER 1 TIME TO ASK ME A QUESTION, THEN I TOLD SOME JOKES FOR 8 HOURS SHE GOT BORED AND DITCHED ME, don't care how classy she is, SHE LIKES DICKS IN HER MOUTH, 100% GUAR-EN-FUCKIN-TEED, get horny and make her horny, then get her alone, good luck, for now, other girls, go do it

i'd agree but several times prior to that like when we first met up downtown and ordered some food/pre-gaming at a restaurant, i actually tried to bail, i was essentially dragged along and they kept telling me "come with us come with us!"

like i said i was probably ditched at that point but i don't think they had cruel intentions. the fact everyone was drunk including a few shots i bought for some of them (yea 3 of them i made take shots of liquid cocaine with me) so i can't really blame them.

she had to choose go with my girlfriends (who in reality were drunk and either looking for dick, craving to dance, or even cock-blocking at this point), or wait for this guy (me), lose her girlfriends for the night (since no one had a working phone) and who knows how the night would end up with this a guy she just met.

i don't blame her for making that decision, she did text me the next morning and called later on and said she does want to hang out when she moves down. if she didn't care or met someone else that night, then why in the world would she try to pursue anything with me if she wasn't interested?

pumpington, bro believe me i used to preach the same thing. i ditched the one-minded mentality thing a while ago, that mentality as well as the girls that fall for it gets old fast in my opinion. i'm just looking for something more, a good girl, with a political science degree, fresh, exotic, down to earth, and knows how to have a good time. sorry she ain't the usual, she's def the keeper type.

i'm going to text her tomorrow night (she should be down here by then) heres how i imagine it going

me: hey so you're back in miami now?
her: yes!
me: cool well we should plan something for this weekend if you have time
her: ok! what do you wana do

and i'll take it from there...as long as i get those affirmative words back then everything is in the clear i'd say, probably invite her on a nice dinner cruise or something. haha by the way i love this board, i've got to learn the lingo! thanks again talking this out on here does help

the only thing with posting on here is that there are so many details that can be left out.

for example six of us carpooled in one car and it was hard to find parking. i told them they can hop out and i'll drive and find a spot. for just meeting them, they trusted me with the car. it was HER that decided she would stay with me while her friends went to the restaurant. so in a bit we found a good parking spot and walked about 3-4 blocks to the restaurant. the walk is when we really first got to talk. at the restaurant she made sure i ate, and she made it clear she wanted to share her mojito with me lmao.

she got a text and turns out she knew some guy sitting at another table and she got up and talked to them a few minutes and tried inviting them to sit at our table. i thought wow what a moron lol and so did her friends and her friends told her there wasn't any space. i don't think shes very experienced with guys, like i said she's fresh so that was just a noob mistake on her part.

my concern now is just since i'm not chatting with her now and playing it cool, i hope she is not chatting with her friends "why isn't he calling me" and they tell her to stop wasting her time worrying and that i dropped the ball. but since i have one of her friend's phone i offered to ship it back to her, that should give me some bonus points.

so yea so many details, some good some not so good, we'll just have to see how it plays out.

anyway, time for the gym. gotta clear my mind i'll keep everyone posted

see how it plays out in 2 weeks, this shit is weak, go for another girl, give this girl another shot 2 weeks, hopefully she forgets that you didn't escalate when she was giving you obvious signs of interest