Ok, Polyamoury, what is it? Have you heard of it? Do you know people who have mentioned it, or are themselves polyamourous? Are you polyamourous? Are you polyamourous and you don't even know it yet? Let's find out!
For years I held a belief in one day meeting someone who would be so amazing, so satisfying to be with and so fulfilling, that I would never want to be with another person ever again. Whenever I was with a girl and I saw her talking to another guy who I worried she might be interested in, I became jealous. It didn't matter if she came home with me, cause she may have only been doing it because she was in a relationship with me and that was what was expected of her in order for me to keep wanting to be with her.
These days, I feel that when a girl I'm in a "relationship" with, lets me know that she's having sex or spending time with other guys (or girls), yet tells me that they TRULY want to still be spending time with me and that they love, or miss having sex with me in the way I am with them, that makes me feel secure and not feel any jealousy at all. I know they're with me because they want to be, not just because I'm the easiest option or cause they said they would be and now they're stuck with me until something terrible enough to make them not want to be there happens. I know I never have to wonder if they're happy with me, or are having fun spending time with me because at any point when they feel it just isn't enjoyable, we tell each other and if it doesn't change, we stop hanging out.
The confidence that this brings is immense; yet it is something that takes most people time to properly integrate into their lives because of the complex emotions and thoughts that can stem from these relationships. In many people these thoughts initially cause problems and identifying with the personality of their Ego and not their own true personality. I highly recommend anyone any everyone listen to Eckhart Tolle's
The Power of Now and
Lasting Happiness on audiobook (way better than reading it imho) for an incredible awakening experience to the understanding of your own consciousness and why you do what you do and why you believe what you believe. I think I probably got a lot more from it due to having read Introducing NLP, Awaken the Giant Within and years of personal introspection, but I think it's a great place to start and give an understanding of the most powerful thing to allow you to change in the world; what you're doing right NOW.
Many people allow the concepts of having multiple partners to create ideas of what is expected of yourself and them in many ways. Often people create rules to restrict what they are allowed to do and what their partners can do, or any means of trying to establish control over each other and control how you allow yourselves to experience happiness in life. By allowing yourself to understand that fundamentally, you want to be with someone in order to enjoy the happiness that they experience and share your happiness with them, you will realise that anything that doesn't cause you harm in some manner and causes them happiness, can provide you with the pleasurable experience of their happiness. This exact same concept works whether you're in a relationship that you don't engage in sexual activity with anyone aside from that one person, but typically when this belief is embraced situations where sexual enjoyment with another arise and are experienced without any negative feelings on anyone's part.
The definition that I believe is that being Polyamorous means that you can see reason that there are reasons to love anyone and everyone for who they truly are. If someone is sharing that amazing part of them that is worth loving with you and you are sharing that part with them and you both feel love for another on a level that isn't necessarily romantic, but is innately intimate, that doesn't mean you cannot experience similar intimate moments with other people as well and allowing yourself to do so makes you polyamorous. I don't feel that sexual intercourse needs to take place to be polyamorous; if someone doesn't feel desire for anyone except the person they do have sex with, then that doesn't negate the feelings and the beliefs that it is perfectly ok to do and that if they did feel the desire that they would have sex with someone else. Not having sex with anyone at present doesn't make you celibate, although it might, yet it might simply mean that there are no good candidates right now.
Sexuality is an incredibly incredibly complex area of human perception, personality and interactions. I don't think I could write a whole book that would tie up all my thoughts and beliefs on the subject, so I cannot do so fully in this one post, yet I am open to questions, debate and discussion any time!
~Rye
CHAT
