Does your ex actually want to get back together? It's better to show than tell, try to get into positions where you can talk to girls in front of this one, rather than tell her that you're talking to other girls.

The point of Don Draper's line is that you're reframing your connection to this girl as one that isn't as devoted as it actually is for you. You're telling her that there's something there, but that the relationship is hitting a wall. She will wonder why this is, if it is because of her, and how she can solve the problem.

Try something for me. Go three (or preferably five) days without talking to her. If she texts you, don't answer. Don't hang out with her. Nothing. See what happens.
If she demands an explanation at the end of it all, say you were working some stuff out with your ex (but you two decided the mature solution was to let it go) and didn't want your love life to get too tangled. You should be able to avoid her for three days, it's not a huge task.

@Slip N Slide:

That sounds like a really good plan and I think I'm going to go through with it. I still talk to my ex occasionally, but we both agreed it's better to not get back together.

A question though. What if at the end of 3 or 5 days of me freezing her out she doesn't ask what I've been doing it? What if it just ends? I mean, I'm guessing your answer is going to be, "fuck it then. let her go." And honestly, I'm starting to warm up to that idea. There's plenty of girls out there.

A little heads up on what's been happening.

Even the few responses I've gotten from everyone has improved my game SO MUCH. My text game today with her was flawless I think.

I had a little text convo with her around 6. I was joking around with her, pointing out her flaws, and giving some back handed compliments. Her responses were long and contained a lot of "hahah".

She also texted me, "I'm starving".

I told her I had plans already, but we should get together later tonight at her house.
She said, Yes text me when you get back home.

I'm going to try and close and take control of this situation. No hesitation.

I am so fucking happy honestly. This girl has been mindfucking me for a few weeks now and feels so good, just using the little tips you guys gave me, that I flipped her in a matter of minutes.

THANK YOU. I'll keep you guys updated. And as always, any advice, tips, or criticism is more than welcome.

I think she will. If she doesn't then she places no value on the time you've spent together (which seems substantial) and deserves no more of it.

You're riding high on your text game right now, and I've definitely been there, but that's a very limited solution. You're going to forget these tricks and fall back into an unhappy relationship if you can't straighten out your experiences with girls (with texting you can carefully select your answers, unlike real life). Try out pick up the way it is meant to be pursued. Read some Mystery Method material and go out and attempt it (much easier if you're over 21 and can go to a bar, but stay sober when you're there). Keep practicing and don't give up because of mistakes. Stay on this site and start a journal in the FR section, I'll read everything you post. Be aggressive in changing your lifestyle and it WILL work out.

\


Here's the longer version of it.

" Well, xxx, it is certainly no secret that I am attracted to you and well, I have to admit it everything you do makes it very easy to be that way. BUT, I know that at some level you feel uncomfortable with y'know, you being my sister's friend and what would she think. I can understand. And *maybe* you are right, there's this line between us and we cannot cross it. We should always be aware of that. And I think you will agree with me and understand. Maybe it's for the worse, maybe for the better. Who knows. All I know is that it is there. "

If that doesn't destroy her frame, assuming she is into you, God only knows what will.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

A little heads up on what's been going on.

Yesterday I contacted her and we spoke for a little around 4ish. She told me she was working at a place near me and I said I would visit. She said, "You don't have to". I told her, "If that's your subtle way of telling me not to come, no problemo haha".

She said, "No, I just don't want you to feel like you have to come." I basically told her I didn't feel like that and I wanted to come. About 20 min later I texted her telling her plans had changed and I wouldn't be able to visit because I was going out. I told her we should do something later at night. She said maybe.

Fast forward to around 12:30, send her a text asking if she wants to meet up. She says, "I'm not home." I respond, "No problemo bella. Have a good night."

A few questions. Obviously one is, where do I go from here? Should I initiate a convo today or wait for her? Also, did I handle that text right? I didn't want to come off like I was disappointed or something. Should I have inquired further to find out where she was?

And it's around 11:30 am right now and I haven't heard from her.

You tried to hang out with her a bunch of times in one night. Not smooth.

The "you don't have to come if you don't want to" lines are stupid. Treat them as such. "Alright shut up, I just said I was coming."

No you should not have inquired further. You contact to meet up and that's about it.

I want my three day freeze out. And I want it to start as soon as you read this. Record the time and give it 72 hours exactly.

If you're not willing to use whatever means we are offering you, why post at all?

Listen to anyone here. And FOLLOW what we said.

You've been unable to do anything with her on your own, haven't you? That's not going to change all of a sudden.

Listen to us, take our suggestions to heart, apply them.. maybe it will lead to a difference.

All I know is, nothing can happen when nothing has changed.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

It baffles me that this thread is still open. These guys have given you tons of useful tips and advice combining all their knowledge and you're still clueless. Come on man ... We can and want to help but we can only do so much.

Yeah, you guys are right.

I appreciate all the help though.

Just to keep you guys updated.

The other day she told me how she loves spending time with me and loves the way I treat her. She said she needs to figure out some things first before anything though. I said ok.

So today she told me her and my sister have fallen out. I said exactly what Don Draper wrote and I think it worked to a charm.

We started talking and I basically laid it out for her. I told her I do have feelings for her, but I'm not going to wait around. She said "No, I know."

I also mentioned how her ex was probably still in the picture and I wasn't going to be the second guy. "No fucking way is that happening." She said, "No it's like that at all."

I told her that if she wanted to go back to college single so she could fuck random dude's, it was ok. All I needed was a heads up. Again, I got a "no, that's not what I want."

In the end I laid it out to her. I told her she has to decide if she wants to get involved with me. I told her I'm not waiting around another 3 weeks and at some point I need a yes or no.

Also, she tried to accuse me of being to serious and "looking to settle down". She likes to turn the convo against me when it's no going her way. My response was something like, 'No, no chica. Don't give me that bullshit. It's not something you plan. I'm not sitting here looking to settle down. That's something that just happens if it's supposed to. I told you, I'm not going into this expecting anything."

I also explained to her that worst comes to worst. we have a fucking blast together and if it's not working we just end it.

The convo ended like this:

Me: So yeah. Idk what he fuck to tell you. I know I'm very attracted to you and like spending time with you. I would love to move forward. But my balls are in your court. (A little joke from the office to keep it light.) Me sitting around and waiting another 3 weeks is not happening. I'm not being irrational or too serious. As much as I'm ready to get involved with you and treat you well (she says she not used to guys giving her compliments, treating her well, etc), it's your decision at this point.

Her: Okay

Me: Good. When you want to talk, hangout, do whatever, you let me know. I know you're busy with work and shit, so me trying to work around all that wasn't really working. When you're free and want to do something, tell me.

Her: I will

Thoughts? I'll probably send her a goodnight text, then after that go no contact. If she contacts me, she'll get a response. Other than that, I'm done. If she wants to be with me, spend time with me, whatever, she'll get in touch with me.

Think it was a good idea to lay it all out for her and put the ball in her court?

P.S. I know you guys advise the guy to always have the upper hand and not let her decide. However, this situation is a little different. We have been in contact everyday for 3 months and gotten pretty intimate. I told you, she told her friend she could see herself seriously dating me. It's just that I've been putting my neck out there for 2 months and she has been hesitant. So I wanted to force her to make a decision. Even if it's not the one I want to hear. She is very indecisive. Or at least, that was my thinking at the time lol. Hope I made the right choice...

Yes. Yes, it was.

I think you handled it perfectly and your plan looks good enough that you can take it from here on your own.

Well done, good sir. And good luck with this.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

You handled it well. The key at this stage is investing as little attention and time into her as possible (until you two decide to go for something much more serious). This includes time you aren't with her or speaking to her. Think about her as little as possible. If you can keep yourself moving forward, she'll either chase you or get left in the dust.