Hi Guys, need some help here.
Posting here as don’t have enough psts to put this in relationship section.

So, relationship issues. I’m not sure If I trust her. Now, I know I have these issues.. I mean I don’t even trust my family and only a few mates I actually trust. Now, this hasn’t been an issue until I’ve got myself into an exclusive relationship..

However, I’ve been exclusive with this girl for 6 months and seeing her before that for a few months. We met at work, and sit very close (Luckily I just finished working there – as it was hectic working so close).

The reason that I don’t know if i can trust her is, a month or so ago I accused her of lying to me.. she made me feel like shit saying that I can’t trust her blah blah.. and I actually did feel shit for saying it. But I didn’t believe what she was telling me. The next day I got it out of her that she was actually lying, no big issue she was saying that it was a white lie (she was ill - I told her to go home early but she went shopping for fucking ages).

I was fine until I started to think about the fact that she made me feel like a prick because I accused her of lying and it ended up being true.

Since then, I’ve started to question everything she tells me. I don’t make this apparent, and she isn’t aware of it – however I am finding it hard to trust her.
Now my mind goes off on stories.. Telling myself that maybe when she said she was shopping she actually wasn’t.. this being the reason why she got so defensive and didn’t tell me she was shopping... I mean, if it just was shopping what the fuck big deal is that, she can tell me –Yeah, she was feeling ill and i would have told her to go home etc.. but no big issue – Or maybe she wasn’t even shopping at all?
Now, I saw her checking out hotels recently – she told me it was because she was going to suprise me with a trip away but found it was too expensive. Fair enough, we take weekend breaks around Europe frequently.

However, I brought it up in passing – not thinking at the time of any issues – mentioning the trip she said she was looking to go on, and she couldn’t relocate whatsoever the trip she told me was the reason she was looking through hotels. Maybe this is because she wasn’t looking for a trip in the first place?
Ok. Yeah Oneitis? Trust? AFC?

Well.. Not really, I mean ok.. I love this girl – but if she was fucking about I wouldn’t give her a second I would be gone. Yeah I have trust issues, but at the same time, now these thoughts have entered my head It won’t get better until I can resolve the issue. AFC? Well Defiantly in relationships. However, I haven’t been clingy or possessive – I let her do her own thing and don’t care. Its only now when I don’t know if I can trust her alarm bells ring.

Bit more background –I’m 23 she’s 28. She is HB 8. Perhaps this is an age thing.. I mean she is 28 why would she fuck about? It’s not like she has any reason to stay with me for financial security.. we don’t have kids.. we don’t have a house together – so why would she cheat? But some girls do this shit.

And then my background being.. I have been single for the past few years, I’ve been in and out of the game – But always have found it easy to pick up girls. Maybe another reason I don’t trust women in general.

Yeah ok tell me what you think – Let it rip. Give me your opinions / questions – as I don’t like being the guy who starts wondering what his gf is doing.. I don’t want to be like that – I want her to have her own space, do what she wants, because that’s me – I want my space too. But now Im not sure If I can trust her.. and this will eat into the relationship unless I resolve this now.

Okay, just to be clear.. she told you ONE white lie and that completely shattered all the trust you had in her to the point that you were/are making conspiracy theories aplenty based on her every word? Great.

She did a mistake. Once. There's no need to punish her for it repeatedly.

Maybe she is being honest, she was looking at those hotels to surprise you.. who knows.

But, remember what you typed here "I mean ok.. I love this girl", that's a big, big declaration right there. And NO, it is not an age thing for crying out loud.

You can either give her a fresh start in your head or you can end things. The more time you carry one with this baggage, the lower are the chances of anything being worked out with this girl.

It's your call.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Thanks for the reply Don.

What I would say is this -I like resolution.

The dilemma I've created for myself is this: She made a white lie, told me what it was - and is being honest.

Or, She's lieing / cheating / whatever.

There are only two resolutions: To the first - all's fair, she was trying to make me feel better as she knew I would tell her to go home (to be fair though she was there for 4 hours / and ill / left work early - so i can understand why she would think I would be annoyed she was stil lthere)

To the later - It would mean that it's over.

I will not let anyone mug me off. Yet I do not want to force the relationship to the end if nothing is going on.

Also - the thing that annoys me the most is that yes ok she lied - but she made me feel like a prick when I said I didn't believe her. She made up a story about what she'd been doing and then had a go at me when I accused her of otherwise. And I think that's where the issue comes in. She made up an elaborate story - convinsingly and then shot me down when I accused her.

However.. On that note I will take your advice. Ignore it, move on. Whatever I say will result in two conclusions. Forget it or end it. I'll forget it for now. See what happens.

However, If you have anything more to add that would help. As I know this isn't resolved for me.