So I got a copy of "Rules of the Game" I decided to keep a success report on the forum to keep track of my progress, get feedback and hopfully help and inspire people to face their fears and improve.

I'm pretty new with all this, a few years ago I had an extremely paralyzing phobia with women, especially attractive ones. I managed to overcome that major fear with routine confront, not talking to them or anything, just confronting female cashires by buying a small yougert at the grocery store a few times a day until I felt more comfortable. I've heard some people on here say that Chiefs noob mission of saying hi to every girl in a mall is on too steep a learning curve for some. It would have been for me, so my method might help, depending on the degree of your phobia or social lack there of... It can be overcome!

The book says to not read straight through, so if you plan on doing it, keep that in mind, if you're gonna read my report.

DAY 1 Supposed to Talk to 5 strangers and make small talk.

It said that it didn't matter if they were guys girls old young whatever, So I approched people in grocery stores made some comments about some weird fruit or the weather. Started out difficult, even just an old dude or whatever, some older woman, getting the nerve to make small talk even with them was a task in itself, sonce it's so uncommon for me to do.

WIN As a shy somwhat anti-social person who has a cynical opinion of people, I learned that people can be responsive and friendly if you innitiate conversation with them. They are glad to have someone willing to talk to them and will pick it up and carry it on, lol.

DAY 2 Supposed to do the same as day 1 except find out the colour of the persons eyes.

Approched some random people to make small talk, some women some men, no one I'd date at this point. Some people wern't too friendly, one woman ignored me.

WIN I learned that it doesn't really matter if someone isn't friendly or ignores me, who the fuck cares. I actually got a laugh out of it and I was still proud that I made the attempt to reach out. Still though, again, despite some surly people out there, and they do exist, most people again were generally reponsive to my initiation of conversation with them. I felt really really happy and improved at the end of doing this day. I talked to one attractive black woman as an extra after I already finished my 5, just for kicks.


DAY 3 Call random numbers in the phone book, when they say you got the wrong number, ask them to recomend a movie. Get three recomendations.

I felt kind of weird doing this, but whatever, did it anyway. One person hung up when I asked them to recomend a movie, a few said "nope" and got three to recomend something.

WIN got to be kind of fun, like a slight thrill. Didn't care if people said no or hung up. Not hurting anyone. Don't give a fuck. What is the big fear to be had in doing this, is any one goona kill you or call the cops for doing this? The fear is compleatly irrational.

Day 4 First one where you're supposed to initiate convo with people you'd date, ask 3 women to recomend a good place to buy clothes.

K, so I did this thing, I approched 3 women all attractive, two very good looking blondes around my age asked for clothing store. Was kinda nervous/exciting.

WIN I seriously surprised the crap out of myself today! I approched three actually hot women, two of them I'd say HB7-8's maybe. The win was that HOLY FUCK!!! AM I EVER OVERCOMPLICATING THIS STUFF! I realized just how important the 3 second rule is, you really have to just do it. I got an answer from all three of them. Thinking about the approch is your enemy.

Great work, am glad to hear of your successes i don't own the book but am aware of what it entails
Congratulations

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Dranzer

congratulations xsander, keep it up man!

_________________
Mr. Jones

Nice.

P.S - This might be a marketing trick by Style's people

@ Phangan.. Yeah, the idea crossed my mind that it might come across as a maketing ploy. I met Young Sweet Jones last Saturday so he can verify that it's not a sales trick.


Anway, back to the action

DAY 5 was just to groom yourself and buy new clothes, ask for asistance from a female clerk.

I didn't buy anything, but I asked a cute clerk to help me find some clothes for a trip to Peru next week.

WINS Just continuing the effort to talk to attractive women. Although, still have some anxiety finding a cute clerk to help me out, there was some nervousness at the begining. I went into a store, there was a cute one, but just wasn't in the approch girls mode that day, so I talked to the male owner of the store to help me get going socially. I was telling him how I was going to teach English in Peru, and get paid to go there. The cute girl clerk was in ear shot, and I could tell that my story, though not directed at her, peaked her interest. She was looking over and trying to overhear what I was saying. So it's an interesting side lesson learned. You can raise your value subtley, without trying to impress a girl, by telling DHV stories to someone nearby even a guy. I heard this in MM or the Game before, but saw it in practice this day, even though it was very unintentional. After this I went to the Gap and talked to a real girl clerk to help me find clothes, kept to the Peru theme.

DAY 6 Compliment four women on something that is not their looks, 2 compliments can be given to people you know, like your mom, the other 2 have to be strangers

I complimented all strangers. This day I was going to Tryst Nightclub in Toronto with YoungSweetJones and another guy that Saturday night. My hair was really long and pissing me off, so I needed a haircut. My barber was closed so I went to a FirstChoice. It was an older woman cutting my hair, I complimented her on her braclet. a couple of my compliments were just to get the ball rolling, my other two compliments were to attractive 20's something girls.

WINS With one of the compliments I did in the LCBO to a girl I said I liked her shirt, and kept moving. She seemed shy about it, and thanked me. I may be imagining, but I think she was walking around hoping I'd talk to her again.

[b]DAY 7[/b] Write an Opener and test it on three women

I found it difficult to come up with an opener actually, however I got jumped by a gang on my way back to my car from the above mentioned night club, had my gold chain stolen, sucked, lol. Anyway I used this event as sort of story to follow up the opener I used. I embelished some points to add interest.. whatever. I'm not entirely sure if I accomplished the goal of writting an opener, but I used my opening story no problem. I was in clothes and shoe stores asking girls opinion openers on which shoes they prefer for a club. They'd tell me and I would shift to my story of getting "pistol whipped" (there was no pistol in the real inncident) Like I said, whatever, I'm learning, and want to create a DHV impression that i'm calm under pressure, not a punk that got robbed. K, well I approched about seven women instead of the required 3. Um, again, a lot of them were clerks or cashires, I feel like that MIGHT be cheating to a certain extent, since it's so god damn easy to open them. But anyway, I opened at least one customer, maybe two, I'm not sure if the other worked there or not.

WINS I opened a customer, extremely good looking blonde woman, Hb8 late 20's or 30. at a Winners store. I asked for her opinion on 2 shirts, went to my story. She gave her opinion, listened to my story. I could smell whif that she knew I was trying to pick her up or something, she didn't want to talk to me anymore. It was a good lesson still, because I gracefully ended the interaction without looking like a fool.

I opened several very attractive women, I opened an HB7 at a Marshals, I'm not sure if she worked there or not. Asked her opinion on shoes for a club, asked if she'd ever been to Tryst Night Club in Toronto, She said yeah, told me she knows people that promote from there, and I went to story. This interaction went well I felt.

I opened a girl at the cash for a shoe store, asked her opinion on which shoes for a club. I was most animated in this interaction, I was energetic with my story telling and very friendly, smiling, giving the full brunt of my genuine personality. She was very interested in my story.. Another very cute girl that worked at the store shot over quickly and asked me excitedly if I am famous!!! I KNOW, LOL WTF!! She listened to my story too. I think a hint of nervousness (cleared my throught) came through when I told my story to her, I could tell her impression of my value dropped a little. A good lesson still, attitude is so important, personality, and friendly demeanor are soooo important. This was probably my favorite interaction of the day, since the girls were so into it.

One HB10 at a jewelry store as the last one I did, I also did a Youg Fruze Girl, and some others.

I think that hints of nervousness is what makes women catch on to the fact that your trying to pick them up, or have some ultirior motive, I think this is what went wrong with the customer in marshals as well as the slight loss of interest by the cute girl at the shoe store. Over all very very good day. Ironicly the HB10 at the end I was able to contain my nervosness better than some of the others, due to the fact that she was trying to sell me something for one, it was more of a sales situation, even though I still delivered my story. All in all, nerves seem more under control.

Final Notes:
I feel like I may have cheated slightly using clerks, even though the book dosn't specify against it. Also I get the sense that I'm relying on clothing opinion openers toooo much. It is a crutch, which is fine at first, but I'll have to move away from it.

I may try the day 7 challenge again tomorrow, but all on the street, with a newly written opener. I havn't opened on the street yet, aside from asking for directions.

I did Day 7 again,

Approch anxiety today was high, since I was using an opener that was not situation appropriate, like how it's situation appropriate to ask a chick in a shoe store which shoes they like better. That is easy shit to do. Today I made a new opinion opener about getting placments to teach English abroad, and it's either Japan or Peru, Which do you like better? Man this was WAY harder, I asked all 3 of them were customer, except a couple of older women clerks at the begining that I didn't count, just to get me going. I walked around the mall for a long time, pretty frozen with AA, I eventually opened a black girl customer in a clothing store. She thought the opener was lame...HAHAHA! Um, I exited as smoothly as I could by asking if she worked there, I knew she didn't, she said no then I just said oh, and moved along, as if I was only intending to speak with a clerk. This interaction only made my AA worse.

Eventually I left the mall and went to a grocery store and did my Travel opener on some woman, None that I approched today were very intimidating. but around my age anyway.

The last one I opened was an Okay looking woman mid 20s. This one went most smoothly, because I had my wording together.

Lesson learned was that having a good opener and routine that you have faith in is important, because the day before I was killing it opening 7, 8 and 10s with a kick ass animated story about getting mugged, and being calm under pressure. Plus it was an actual real story that happened a couple days ago, so that helps as well. Opening random people with material that dosn't fit the enviroment, like opening about travel in a clothing or grocery store is just so much more unnatural, many notches up on the awkward and AA scale. Even on Old women, or opening anyone with random material seems unnatural. That's why it would obviously be so much better to aquire the skill of being able to quickly think of an on the spot situation opener. That would be a killer skill to have, and would make the approch compleatly natural.

Approching only seems unnatural, when the opening material is not in line with the immediate situation, or there if there is maybe too much try on a situation opener. The goal is obviously to make the approch as natural as possible.

wouldn't this be better in the field report section, SURE IS MARKETING UP IN THIS BITCH

@ Pumington...I'm genuinly just doing the missions in this book, lol. I swear on my balls dude, I'm not paid or reimbursed in any way to promote this book by Style, his company or anyone affiliated with him. Total fucking promise! Although, Style is more than welcome to send me a check, I AM marketing the book for him, but aside from whatever gains I'm getting from the book itself, I'm not getting any reimbursment for it in return...YET, MUAHAHAHA!!!

I just wanted to post a thread that if someone has a paralyzing phobia with women, progress can be made. Whether from the book or through confront methods on a very soft gradient that you make yourself. Learn from me, I was HARCORE woman phobic. You just need the desire!

Hi Xsander.

Congrats on your journal. I did not follow the Rules of the Game, yet I bought it and I've learned some really good stuff reading it.

You're putting yourself out there and getting experience quickly. I can't see how you can possibly fail this way.

Keep on! I'm following you.

Daniel..

(I guess your post would be more appropriate in the field report section indeed)

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On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Very good job man!

Action is the currency of change and you are doing great. Keep up the good work. Important tip is to simply stop thinking while in the field. Make assumptions and notes about what to change after the sarge session.

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Bow chika wow wow

Thanks AFC Danial and Fvckit... I've been using that tip to stop thinking in feild. It's helped!

Okay, So I didn't want to fuck around with Day 7 and day 8 was the same as day 7 except for adding a couple of pieces to the opener. I did way more approaches than was required by the book.

DAY 8 Add a Time Constraint and a Rooting (tell her WHY you are talking to her) to your opener

Like I said, day 7 and 8 were important, so I didn't want to half ass it. I went the extra few miles, I actually began to wonder if I was continuing on with Day 7 and 8 as an excuse not to move on to day 9, but I can honestly say that I am satisfied with my my effort, and that I compleated the mission for day 7 and 8. I approached sooo the fuck many women! At first it was really difficult, even opening older women or old men was awkward. Then I was approaching women my age, but I felt I wasn't opening an intimidating enough level of woman. I still chicken out on some hot chicks especially if there are more than one in a group. BUT I am opening attractive dateable women.


WINS:
I approached a hot girl with her mom in a grocery store. I opened with "I'm doing a bit of a social experiment. How easily can you tell if someone is a liar" (some other stuff in there too) The girl was disinterested and her mom said, "ohhhh you can tell by the face, probably he'd be a sort of nervous face, and moving around." (I was trying to body rock HAHAHA!) Yeah, I was pretty nervous opening this set, my face was twitching, it wasn't going smoothly, lol. The girl was disinterested and not contributing to the interaction, but I was still making eye contact in an attempt to draw her into the conversation. Anyway, after her mom basically indirectly called me a liar. I said "yeah, I'm a bit of a liar" and the girl and her mom started to crack up. I bowed out of the set as gracefully as I could. I was happy with my recovery from this miserable set at least. I did manage to make the girl smile and laugh a little, so despite my nervous twitching and all, I was happy with it to that extent.

Also an approach is an approach, when the nerves turn on, that's when you really have to barrel through it. The negative stuff sometimes has to turn on before it can turn off. So I went off again to find a new set.

I opened some older women, to help re-gain my confidence. Then I opened a good looking 25 or so year old, She was happy that I talked to her and answered my questions. I said thanks, and moved on. This was good, it went smoothly, it gained me back some more confidence.

Then I went to another store and opened a really hot nurse in pink scrubs. I saw her walking in, and when I crossed her again in the dairy section I didn't hesitate. "Hey, I'm doing a little bit of a social experiment. Let me get your female point of view" I opened her with a friendly smile and attitude, full of positive energy. It was just fun! She immediatly started to laugh, in a good way! She was totally taken by something so random. She couldn't believe it, it was awesome! Anyway, we had a bit of fun in our interaction and I sprang... ejected the set. This set was great! I learned (once again) the importance of positivity and FRIENDLINESS!!! Just be friendly, give some fun and entertainment to her day!

As I said, I went a little overboard with day 7 and 8, I'm not even listing all the sets I opened. There were so many.

The next day, I was still beaming about my last couple of sets, but I started thinking about opening chicks again and that nervousness started churning in my stomach again. So I went out and opened a good looking women in the grocery store. She was friendly, answered my questions. It went smoothly. I stacked a couple of stories, but still bailed way too early. I'm feeling boarderline cocky at this point. I went home pretty content with myself.

I went out again later that day, and opened 3 more sets. But unlike earlier in the day, there was an edge there, I was tentative. there was one woman I wanted to open, I just couldn't pull the trigger. So I saw another, opened her.

Fuck, did this set ever go wrong, lol. She was looking at me really suspiciously, like I was a creep, questioning my motives. I was nervous, my opening was disingenuous. My smile was fake. This opening women thing started to take on a more serious tone, the fun from before was gone. I was now a man on a mission, I was outcome oriented. I NEEDED the interaction to go well, instead of opening for the sake of who gives a fuck. It was graceless and awkward. Now I was a little worried.

I opened a larger woman to regain my confidence, Set went shit. I was no longer displaying the friendly, charming, fun, random personality that had been working to my advantage earlier. I was almost pushy, trying to get a good reponse and answers. Do not do these things, lol.

I opened one more that day at a Walmart, FUCK!!! She gave me the same god damned suspicious look that the earlier one gave me. My opening was fake, it was try hard, I struggled to find my words, and I got LAZY with my attitude, my story telling and my opening. I was being LAZIER with these things, yet strangley, I was TRYING harder. That was a good lesson learned, don't get lazy with delivery.

I went home and meditated on my miserable last 3 sets, and tried to figure where it went wrong, and correct it. I lost confidence in my opener, I was thinking it's weird, so that obviously subcommunicated to the women. It's important to have confidence in your opener. If you're not confident with your opener and you think its wierd, then YOU are going to come across as not confident and weird.

I thought maybe I over did it, and should have moved on to day 9 after the great set with the nurse. I decided to open a few new sets anyway.

After retooling my opener and resolving my mistakes, I opened a few more with a newly written opener.

DAY 9 Open Two Mixed sets with at least Three People

It is surprisingly hard to find approchable mixed sets in my age group, most mixed sets in my age range during the day are wife husband and kids or a lot of 2 sets with boyfriend girlfriend etc.

WINS:I opened a hot chick with her boyfriend with a newly written opener. This was techically not the 3 set required. So I won't officially count it, but was still good practice. The girl wasn't really interacting with me and my story/questions, it was just the boyfriend talking to me. I tried to get the girl involved and what she thought, but she just said "I don't know" that's it... Meh. I opened the set with a hot chick in it, that's a win in itself. It went fairly smoothly anyway.

I opened a three set in the mall with two attractive girls and one guy, it was the only approachable mixed set of 3 that I found. So I didn't hesitate when I saw it. I opened, asked my question, they contributed. It WASN'T weird! Good stuff! I bailed. I have to do at least one more mixed 3 set tomorrow, because one set was a 2.

I bail too soon, even if the sets go well and I'm getting good vibes and interest. I eject, maybe to protect myself from having a good set potentially go bad, maybe because I don't want to bother people too much. anyway, that's going to have to change. I have to start continuing the interactions from now on and stacking my stories.

DAY 10 Add a disqualifyer to your opener, use three different disqualifyers on three different openings

Okay, well, I hit a bit of a snag, and got a little bit obsessed and stuck with just aproaching and opening over and over again (day . I got a cold after I finished day 9, and my mood was down, I got depressed. I was basically just approaching daily for the sake of keeping up with it, and not loosing the skills I had gained, I was in survival mode. It is difficult to approach and open well when you are depressed. It's a vicious cycle that feeds on itself. Depressed so approaches suck, therefore not progressing so get a little more depressed, so then approaches suck some more and get a little more depressed. I finally managed to complete day 10.

For my first opener/disqualifyer I asked a girl if she knew a good restaurant I could take my girlfriend to, because we just came from BC. It went well, but I'm having problems keeping them from leaving after a short interaction. Usually, it was my trick to bail the interaction after the opener, now, some of them answer my question and then take off.

My second opener/disqualifyer I decided to ask the girl where I can buy a suit for a wedding then tell her that I'm gay but I have no fasion sense... Yeah, it felt weird, I didn't like doing that. And that disqualifyer went the shittiest. I tried it on two different attractive girls, the first one just wasn't having it. and said she can't help me, the second one I asked which shirt would go best with a black blazer for a wedding then tell her I'm gay but have no fasion sense. She answered my question politley and when I tried to switch threads, she gave no interest and ended the interaction saying that It's up to me to figure out the thing I wanted an opinion on.

The Third girl I opened/disqualified I asked if I should tell my best friends girlfriend that he's cheating on her, and the wedding is next week. She got pretty into the question, and was enthusiastic about her answer. I then asked her if that was her natural hair colour, then I told her that I only ever date blondes, she kind of laughed and the interaction ended. I'm having some difficulty keeping them hanging around long enough to keep it rolling.

WINS: I realized the importance of well defind goals, before I was just aproaching with no purpose other than to overcome approach anxiety at some point along the way, and when just approaching over and over it was very much about NEEDEDING a good interaction with these women. With well defined small goals you know that you have accomplished something. Otherwise there is no visible end in sight.

Adding the disqualifyer proved interesting, the most positive reaction was from the one where I said I have a girlfriend. The one where I say I'm gay, I don't think I will use again. I think the girls knew is was bullcrap, probably a good thing, lol.

But once again, the most important lesson I learned in this mission is the importance of being up-beat and positive. If you're attitude in dumpy, you get shit responses from people. Once you get that POP in your attitude, and a good smile on your face, it's on!

This us making me wanna do the rules challenge again. I sort of let it trail off last time I did it... I think I'm going to opennit up tonight.

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just because my name is safety doesn't mean i like condoms