Hey guys, I figure since I just joined the forum I might as well give my back story...

Pretty much all my life I've had an inferiority complex...I was a really late bloomer, so I was a benchwarmer for a lot of sports, and taunting from my dad and little brother (of all people) didn't help. To give you idea, I had a knickname with the word cautious in it...not the best moniker to have. Anyways, success with girls has typically been one of my major sticking points. I first kissed a girl in 8th grade, but it was truth or dare so I dont really count it. My next kiss wouldn't come until senior year of high school when I was 17. I initiated contact over facebook, and endup up going on a date and hooking up. Turns out she was a year younger cuz she was ahead a year (she was only 13) even though she was about my height (I'm 5'11") and looked way older than a freshman. This of course freaked me out big time as I was already insecure about the fact that she was a freshman girl and thought that people were looking down at me for going after freshman cuz I couldn't "get any" from girls my own age. Being a borderline pedophile, I quickly ended that and wouldnt hook up with a girl til 9 months later, when I randomly drunk made out with this girl for 10 seconds at a party.

Then off I went to college, and so my oneitis set in...this one extremely hot girl (easily hb10) I was intent on going after from the moment I saw her. She hung out with my group of friends in the beginning, so in my own AFC sort of way I tried to get her attracted. Since pretty much every guy I knew at school wanted on that, I decided to do THE STUPIDEST possible thing and call her into my room one night when I was drunk. I told her "I like you more than a friend (*AFC ALERT*)", to which she actually responded to half favorably: "I don't have time right now for a bf, ask me next semester." Weird answer in which I had no idea how to interpret. Anyways, later in the semester I ended up trying to ignore her and shit and not be nice to her which was probably a good idea in pua terms. She would text me sometimes, saying whats up and then either asking for a favor or go to my room to eat my candy and then leave straightaway. Or she would text me something and acted disinterested when I texted her back. She just kept leading me on so I tried the ignore strategy (she was in my room one night, and I faced away from her and refused to respond when she talked to me). Then one night I got sick and she texted me the next day asking if I was alright, which kind of got my hopes up a little since I took it as an IOI. I responded with a one word answer, hoping to play out my strategy, and she didn't respond. I sent a second text message, telling her that I couldn't get her out of my head and liked her too much so I was trying to push her away (*AFC ALERT 2*). She responded with the same shit: I don't have time. After that, I just stopped talking to her for a month. Then winter break started, 2 weeks went by, and holy donkey shit balls, I get a "hey whats up, I miss you" text from her. We text for like 8 hours flirtaciously into the wee hours of the morning until she cuts it off. Then one night, she sends me a text when I'm at a party that just says "I'm so sorry." I'm like wtf, and she pretty much apologizes for being mean to me, but then when I bring up my crush on her she cuts the conversation. She started two conversations the next morning, apologizing for drunk texting me and seeing how my night went. At this point I'm like holy shit, shes actually into me. So for the rest of winter break, I text her a couple more times and we talk, but she's not really telegraphing interest. We go back to school and I expect to start talking to her again, but shes evasive and its awkward around her. She joined a sorority and I stopped talking to her altogether. Except for one night on this bus when she was teasing me and I pretty much told her off, and another time when she said something I couldn't decipher when I was dancing with a hottie in front of her after I discovered PUA

Anyways, this bitch pretty much led me on and played me, leading me to think about her pretty much every day of first semester. I would seriously make sure I was in my room all the times in case she came up to our floor, it was that bad. I gotta give her credit though, she was a master of her craft. Anyways, I talked to my friend about this conniving whore and he introduced me to david deangelos stuff (this was about mid february). Since then, I've branched off into other PUA (mystery method, conquer your campus, the game, brushes of everything else). It's really helped my game; I hooked up with 5 girls second semester and even went on a date compared to one mere ugly chick first semester. Yet, when I came home, my game halted since I live in a small town and theres not much to do. I've gone clubbing with a few of my friends (I have a fake ID), but the scene is different (lots of older people) and I feel like I don't fit in cuz I'm only 19. I approached a few times but I didn't always get favorable responses, especially the last time I went out, so I've kinda been down in the dumps. But I'm looking foward to my sophmore year of college, cuz it;s my first year off campus (only a 5 minute walk) and theres no rules/I have my own room/freshman girls are incoming. I also plan on pledging a fraternity/joining different groups cuz I hardly branched out last year and my main friends at school are nice but not very outgoing.

I tried stylelife challenge, but I feel it doesn't work as well for teens and I'd rather make my own plan so I gave up. I discovered this community a couple months ago, but just joined now cuz I realized that I have to make a journal if I'm going to accomplish this shit. Also, I'm on vacation now where theres nothing to do at night, and seeing all these hot girls but being too afraid to approach them coupled with the fact that my mom is here pisses me off. So fuck it I'm doing something about it, I'll post back tomorrow or maybe a little later with a concrete plan and goals. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY TIPS ON WHERE TO START

Hey guys, I've decided to lay out my inner game issues as well as outer game ones, and goals to overcome them:

INNER GAME:

TOURETTES: I have minor tourettes syndrome, I don't compulsively swear or anything. Some of my closest friends have yet to notice, and only one girl I've hooked up with ever has. IF ANYONE HAS AN IDEA ON HOW TO RESPOND TO A GIRL QUESTIONING MY TWITCHES WITHOUT ME HAVING TO DROP MY WHOLE SOB STORY ON THEM, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I have head, neck, torso, and shoulder twitches, excessive eye blinking, sniffling, and barely audible throat squeaks. The good news is that I'm very adept at controlling my tics in public....the bad news is that I think that they can be easily interpreted as nervous body language, which isn't good.

VIRGINITY: Yes I am a virgin, and not proud of it at all. In fact, I have never progressed passed making out with an HB and feeling her ass or tits. No blowjobs, or even a handjob. I am pretty insecure about this, and am kind of in a hole. With my friends from high school, most of them are more successful with women then me, and I actually feel like a lesser human being just because I haven't had sex. On the other hand, my friends at school are like me for the most part (not successful with girls) and aren't very good wingmen. ANY ADVICE ON DEALING WITH VIRGINITY WOULD BE HELPFUL.

LOOKS: I actually consider myself a good looking person, and many girls have commented on my good looks. I have been approached before (an HB asked if she could kiss my cheek cuz she lost a bet, probably would've done something if I wasn't clueless at the time), and another HB thought I was cute and told my friend to give me her number. Of course, I screwed this up too: didn't make a move on her cuz we hung out in a group, and whilst texting her I told her about my problems, which wasn't a good idea. Anyways, my issues with my looks include: i think I am young looking for my age, which doesn't help me in a club and bar scene. I get dark circles under my eyes, even when well-rested, cuz of allergies. I also have minor acne, which i am too lazy to treat sometimes, and I think my face looks weird from the side. I know, the last ones dumb....especially since I've read that looks don't matter much at all in PUA. I guess I will just have to prove that they don't matter myself.

CLOTHING: I am helavily influenced by hip-hop culture, and it is one of my passions. And not really gangster rap; more of like A Tribe Called Quest, Kanye West, Kid Cudi, etc. Anyways, I tend to model my clothing choices after hip-hop culture, and I have heard many people (HBs included) that I dress well. The problem is, sometimes I get self-concious about the way I dress, and feel that many women would pre-judge me right off the bat because of the way I dress. Yet, i don't think dressing like a "normal person" would be the right thing to do, because doing something I don't want to just to fit in seems lame. I guess I'll have to get feedback in the field on this one.

AMOGING: I was picked on not only by my dad and my brother when I was younger, but I was the butt of a lot of jokes, in middle school and the beginning of high school especially. I have been told I am a very sensetive person, and get very defensive and offended easily. This is probably why kids continued to pick on me: they were looking for a reaction. Yet, now it's not nearly as bad, but I still get defensive sometimes when a person makes fun of me, especially my brother. I can be ditzy sometimes, and when I make a stupid comment he'll taunt me for being dumb. Or he'll call me a pussy if I'm scared to do something. Sometimes he'll keep persisting if I ignore him (even though ignoring it makes me feel defeated and feel like shit), but coming up with a comeback just starts an argument and makes me feel like crap anyways because we exchange a lot of name calling. WHAT SHOULD I DO IF HE DOES THIS? SHOULD I IGNORE OR COME BACK WITH A DIFFERENT STRATEGY BESIDES INSULTS? Any help would be appreciated, since if I can deal with him I can deal with AMOGs in the field.

BEING A CREEP: I feel that at my age (I'm 19) a cold daytime approach isn't really socially acceptable. I went to a very small high school, so it's engrained in my brain that if you fuck up with a girl, EVERYBODY will know about it. College is bigger, but still word gets around, so I'm terrified of this. More than that, I am terrified of coming off as a CREEP. I feel that if I do cold daytime approaches on campus, I may work up a reputation as a creep, since the norm in college approaching girls at bars, clubs, and parties. I also base my game mostly off Mystery Method, but I've heard it doesn't work well in college, and the Conquer your Campus ebook claims it doesn't work well. DO YOU GUYS AGREE? OR SHOULD I JUST MAN UP AND DAY APPROACH? PLEASE LEAVE ADVICE ON COLLEGE GAMING.

MOTIVATION: My current belief is that I am not a hard working person, which I hope to change. I find that I have a hard time motivating myself, not just to do pickup, but to do anything. Pretty much, I rarely set a concrete goal and achieve it; or at least it feels that way. Despite my lazy ways, I was able to obtain an academic half scholarship due to high SAT scores. Because of this, I actually felt UNWORTHY of my scholarship (my grades weren't good, just my scores). My freshman year I did well, but didn't challenge myself enough either. Anyways, I can motivate myself for a short period, but motivationg myself in the long term has been an issue (this is why I started this journal). In field, this easily affects me: I will tell myself I will stop at nothing to do 20 approaches in a particular club, but after a few rejections I sulk and feel sorry for myself, losing my state. IF YOU HAVE ADVICE ON HOW TO PLOW THROUGH REJECTION, PLEASE COMMENT.

OUTER GAME:

APPROACH ANXIETY: Believe it or not, I have no problem going in for the kiss or attempting to escalate. It's just that goddamn AA that kills me. And that feeling I get after I realize I was too pussy to approach that one HB just sucks. I know this is probably the most common problem amongst beginner PUAs, but any advice would be appreciated.

LAST MINUTE RESISTANCE: I have 2 cases of LMR fails. One girl (lets call her HB8) said to me both times after we were kissing for a little bit, "I'm not having sex with you." I had no idea what to say (I had just discovered pickup) and froze, destroying the vibe. The second time I actually froze her out half decently (I just stopped after she said that and continued watching TV with her on my lap without saying anything). She said a few minutes later "but we can do other stuff", and then asked "what do you want". Another question I had no idea how to answer. Let's just say I said something specifically sexual, which probably was a big no no. Nevertheless, we started hooking up again and I was escalating by going up her shirt, but she cut me off saying she wasn't feeling it and left shortly after. Another HB7 I took back came to my room saying "I just wanna chill, no hooking up." I actually managed to plow through, started kissing her (I smelled her hair to turn her on, David Deangelo technique) but when I started going down her pants she kept pulling my hands up, so that didn't go anywhere. ANY ADVICE ON THIS WOULD BE APPRECIATED.

EVERYTHING ELSE: I will have to field test more often to find my other sticking points, as i am sure they are plentiful. For the most part, I feel awkward going into a lot of social situations, so I will have to work on that. Like I went to a small get together tonight to meet my mom's coworkers with her, but didn't know what to do. Do I introduce myself to everybody at the party straightaway? Or do I wait to be introduced? These questions seem unimportant, but crowd my head in situations like these. Also, I can tell that moving past the opener will be a problem, because anyone can blurt out an opener to a girl once they overcome their AA, but it takes skill to move past it into fluid conversation. PLEASE LEAVE ADVICE ON THESE STICKING POINTS IF YOU HAVE ANY

-Lastly, sorry if these posts are long, but it's really about holding myself accountable and so it's important that I flesh these out in detail. Any advice at all is appreciated.

I seperated this post from my last (even though they're similar in time) in order to make a distinction.

**MY GOALS**

PHYSICAL HEALTH:
1.Treat Under Eye Circles/Acne/Eczema/General Hygene
a.Apply SPAM to each area twice a day
b.Brush teeth twice, floss once, take 3 fish oil pills (helps with tourettes) daily
2.Get More fit
a. research workout plan 1 hour a day until I find a better one
b. in the meantime, go to gym every other day on current routine

SOCIALLY BRANCHING
1.Pledge a social fraternity
a. Rush 4 during fall semester
b. Choose one based on combination of friendliness/high socail activity
2.Join two other organizations (keeping these confidential as to not spoil my identity)
a. Join Org. 1
b. Join Org. 2

PUA
1. Give the StyleLife challenge another shot (I've changed my mind on this)
a. All days consecutively done
b. Starting Monday, August 1st
2. Go bar/ club sarging at least one more time this summer
a. At least 20 approaches each night if I don't end up hooking up
b. Write up a FR on each night
3. ChatRoulette/Omegle
-I know it sounds weird, but I've used these sites to improve social skills and get in state before clubbing in a low risk way.
a. Chat with 5 girls for at least a minute each every other day starting this monday.

-I will set more subgoals once the semester starts and I get a feel for things

MY ULTIMATE GOAL
-All of these smaller goals are geared towards one thing right now: losing my virginity. My current goal is to lose my virginity by October 1st, 2011. After that is accomplished, I will set a new overarching goal.

Hey man,

I am not the best at offering advice, as I came to this site seeking advice/techniques for others, but I think what you are doing is great. I think it can be very benefical if you sort of "tear yourself" down, and look at every aspect of your life and how you would like to improve it. However, I have found this to be overwhelming sometimes, and I will often try to take on too many tasks at once and end up losing hope. I am not saying this will happen to you, but I'd advise you to start slow and slowly add in new things each couple weeks. Such as maintainng a proper diet (which will help in almost every area, from acne to your physique to your mental health) and once you have a proper diet down, start adding in working out.

Other than that though, I think you have the right idea. I hope this goes well for you man and you find success. You should keep this thread updated so we can see your progress.

Best of luck