Is this guy pulling PUA moves on me or not?



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 11:27 pm 
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I know this guy and I really don't have any intention of hooking up with him. only because i know that he has hooked up with 2 other girls I know, and I don't want to be the next one. I'm sorry guys, i hope this doesn't offend you. I guess it's because i am currently looking for a relationship so I don't want to do the casual hookups.

Anyways, I do like this guy as a person though, let's call him Joe to make this easier but i sense that he's attempting to "pick me up" but I am not sure. Maybe i am being very arrogant and maybe it's just that he doesn't like me at all.

One time we were all at this bar night he organized. I said hello. The girl he i think he was hooking up with at the time was there. (i think they had only hooked up one time prior). i chatted with various people but every time i walked by him (not sure where the chick was) he would say something about me in his conversation, really loudly so i could hear it. For instance, i walked by to go to the bathroom, and he said "i wonder what 'Mary' thinks about that" and things of that nature. then later on, he was being playful with me, and grabbed my arm and we ran across the street on the way to the next bar and we chatted about what's new. it was a fun night. it was nice to catch up with him and to talk to other people. Then he went home with the chick and i went home with our other friends. But then the next time I saw him, almost a week later, i was about to say hello and wave at him, but he like ducked away. it was really obvious, so it was a definite snub. I was so taken aback.

and that's not the first time he has acted weird towards me. I am pretty quiet. sometimes he'll give me this weird smile, and sometimes he'll ignore me when i speak to him. LIke he'll look at me, so i know he heard me, and then ignore me. Is he just rude? is that all? He's pretty much nice to everyone, but i just get a weird vibe from him. maybe i am imagining things.

what do you PUAs think. is he trying to be a pua or what?


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 11:46 pm 
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Thing you gotta understand is a lot of the things that Pick Up teaches is learned from guys that are already good with women. Is nothing new. It's been around for hundred's of year. Pick up just breaks it down so guys with no skill with women can learn it. Just like learning a real complex math problem. If you can't do it, it needs to be broken down step by step so you can learn it.

Thing is, once learned, this stuff becomes internalized. So we do a lot of stuff without even realizing it.

But in terms up "PICK UP." Seems like Joe is doing push and pull. If he was just to push, you would think he was an asshole. If he was just to pull, you would think he is a pervert or a creep. Mixing both up sends mix signals.

Btw, if your not in a relationship, why not sleep with him until you get a boyfriend. I am sure it will be fun. You don't have to worry about him becoming needy or anything. He gets it.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 11:49 pm 
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if you aren't interested, why are you so curious?

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 20, 2011 11:54 pm 
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if you aren't interested, why are you so curious?
Because maybe i am a little interested. in a morbid way. but he's been around! he's not looking for a relationship right now because he recently ended a long relationship.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:54 am 
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Btw, if your not in a relationship, why not sleep with him until you get a boyfriend. I am sure it will be fun. You don't have to worry about him becoming needy or anything. He gets it.
because i will get attached and expect more. I already know I like him, so that's why it won't work. I'll get hurt.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 6:08 am 
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So, wait.

You know that it's going to end up in flames if you guys hooked up and you're interested but not really.

There are two roads to go from here. First, hook up with the guy and see where that goes. Second, forget about him and find yourself another guy to be interested about.

And not every guy who's smart with the women is a PUA. There are Naturals too.

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:20 am 
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The funny thing that this topic made me realize is that this girl I had in my class last semester, I was doing the same thing. Sending so many mixed signals. You guys can figure out the rest, so I will just leave it there.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:24 am 
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Quote:
So, wait.

You know that it's going to end up in flames if you guys hooked up and you're interested but not really.

There are two roads to go from here. First, hook up with the guy and see where that goes. Second, forget about him and find yourself another guy to be interested about.

And not every guy who's smart with the women is a PUA. There are Naturals too.
lol, yes. yes, i shouldn't be interested in him. but on the other hand if i am speaking to someone, i want them to respond to me when I am talking to them. Guy or girl. Interested or not interested. And everyone else in our class greets one another when we're in the hallway, or at least nods and says hello. I guess I just felt snubbed when the guy sees me coming and ducks for cover. It made me feel self-conscious and a little embarrassed for being about to say hello. My first thought was not PUA, my first thought was that this person doesn't even like me as a person, not even enough to acknowledge me in public.

I know that's really dumb. but i am very shy and I sort of think like that. So i mean, even though i don't want to hook up with him, i guess, to me, it seems disrespectful or something to be treated differently. he seems to be nicer with other people, and i don't see him acting like that towards them. that's why i was thinking he dislikes me.

does that make sense? i mean, i usually don't bother with a person after they've made it clear they do not want to acknowledge me in public, but i guess i was still wondering about it. because to me it was very confusing.


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:27 am 
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The funny thing that this topic made me realize is that this girl I had in my class last semester, I was doing the same thing. Sending so many mixed signals. You guys can figure out the rest, so I will just leave it there.
do tell :) I'm curious... what happened. what kind of mixed messages? etc etc


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:52 am 
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So, wait.

You know that it's going to end up in flames if you guys hooked up and you're interested
lol, hey don,

ain't that just about every woman on earth? :D

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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:33 pm 
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lol, yes. yes, i shouldn't be interested in him. but on the other hand if i am speaking to someone, i want them to respond to me when I am talking to them. Guy or girl. Interested or not interested. And everyone else in our class greets one another when we're in the hallway, or at least nods and says hello. I guess I just felt snubbed when the guy sees me coming and ducks for cover. It made me feel self-conscious and a little embarrassed for being about to say hello. My first thought was not PUA, my first thought was that this person doesn't even like me as a person, not even enough to acknowledge me in public.

Sweetheart. You're not Cleopatra. I am sorry to burst your bubble but people don't HAVE any obligations towards you.

Quite often, people are just being polite when they talk even if they have no interest in the conversation or the person whatsoever. Maybe, this guy isn't polite, but so what? He doesn't give a shit. You shouldn't too.

And another thing, you just feel bad because you "felt snubbed". If he would've waved back you would have been at peace and wouldn't have given it even a second thought.

Sounds like a case of you can't always get what you want. Get over it. It's just one guy.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:34 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
So, wait.

You know that it's going to end up in flames if you guys hooked up and you're interested
lol, hey don,

ain't that just about every woman on earth? :D

Haha. :D

The kinda truths we say, unintentionally. SMH.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 4:27 am 
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Quote:
lol, yes. yes, i shouldn't be interested in him. but on the other hand if i am speaking to someone, i want them to respond to me when I am talking to them. Guy or girl. Interested or not interested. And everyone else in our class greets one another when we're in the hallway, or at least nods and says hello. I guess I just felt snubbed when the guy sees me coming and ducks for cover. It made me feel self-conscious and a little embarrassed for being about to say hello. My first thought was not PUA, my first thought was that this person doesn't even like me as a person, not even enough to acknowledge me in public.

Sweetheart. You're not Cleopatra. I am sorry to burst your bubble but people don't HAVE any obligations towards you.

Quite often, people are just being polite when they talk even if they have no interest in the conversation or the person whatsoever. Maybe, this guy isn't polite, but so what? He doesn't give a shit. You shouldn't too.

And another thing, you just feel bad because you "felt snubbed". If he would've waved back you would have been at peace and wouldn't have given it even a second thought.

Sounds like a case of you can't always get what you want. Get over it. It's just one guy.
I don't think expect an acknowledgement from someone I think i am friendly with makes me Cleopatra. Maybe my qualifying in the question was over broad, but i didn't mean that. Let's just say given the circumstances. To me it looked pretty intentional, not like an accidental "oops i didn't see you"
so i am not supposed to find it odd of someone i know ducks for cover when they see me? when i am about to say hello? That's all i was asking

and i was only asking the original question because i honestly am not sure if he just doesn't like me at all (ducking for cover when you see someone you don't like, makes sense) or if he's in the middle of some PUA things.

He also calls me "silly" all the time. i'm like ok, whatever.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 6:10 am 
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Okay.

In the best interest of your time and ours, I am going to boil it down to the basics,for your understanding.

You are attracted to that guy. A fair amount too.

Now, it's up to you to take whatever course you want to from here. You can confront him about this or you can just ignore him for the rest of your time.

Either way, ball's in your court.

Also, not one thing that you've described about him makes me want to say "Yep. The guy's a PUA", he just might be naturally smart with women. A fair amount of guys are.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:38 am 
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Quote:
Okay.

In the best interest of your time and ours, I am going to boil it down to the basics,for your understanding.

You are attracted to that guy. A fair amount too.

Now, it's up to you to take whatever course you want to from here. You can confront him about this or you can just ignore him for the rest of your time.

Either way, ball's in your court.

Also, not one thing that you've described about him makes me want to say "Yep. The guy's a PUA", he just might be naturally smart with women. A fair amount of guys are.
right...regardless...

ok, but my question was, doesn't it sound like he doesn't even really like me at all? i mean he doesn't even say hello to me. i think if he liked me, he'd say hello, right? or nod or something, not like, see me and run.

EDIT: because i honestly am starting to think he doesn't even like me. like, he wants to send the message that we're not friends, and don't talk to him, and don't even say hello to me when you see me. that's what i am honestly starting to think. It makes me sad because it makes me wonder if either i have done something offensive unknowingly or if he just doesn't like me. or maybe he thinks (or can tell) i am interested in him and he doesn't want to give me the wrong impression so he dodges me in public and avoids me in class.

That's all i am really asking. you say the ball is in my court, but you're not reading what i am asking. i am not asking what i should do next. I am asking, does this kid want me to f@$k off? or is this some kind of "strategy"? (even if it's not consciously "strategy"
I guess for my own piece of mind, if he dislikes me, i sort of want to know why (not that i'd ask him) so i can fix the problem going forward. or at least be aware of how i am coming across.
I have social anxiety so i think things like this. When someone i know starts acting like that it makes me VERY self-conscious. I know that's irrational, but that's just always how i think.


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