OK, I have this girl I have been talking to and we get along great. We met at a festival last year but I was in a different head space then and she had a boyfriend there and we barely spoke. This year I went to the same festival and through the grapevine I had heard she probably wasn't going to be there which was no big deal as I hadn't really interacted with her at all in the intervening year. Well lo and behold there she is at the festival and she's newly single. It ended badly but she seemed to be doing well with it. WHen I first saw her she was playing badminton with a friend who the previous year I had thought was the man as regards women. she said hello to me by name and looked in my eyes so I walked over and sat in a chair and watched them for a bit, injecting some commentary every now and then and making them both laugh. I didn't think she'd remember who I was because I look dramatically different from last year by about 40 pounds and a haircut, most people didn't realize who I was actually I look so different.

Now the night before a different friend had started this little game where he was carrying a bottle of Goldschlager and offering girls a shot but told them there was a kissing tax. She was laughing about how funny she thought it was and I said funny you say that because I am giving out kisses for free! She runs over, hops on my lap and kisses me,, sits there for a minute laughing, then hops up and goes to play again while talking to me and our friend. He was obviously trying to play her a bit. He does this cool little dance with girls around the bonfire at night where he portrays Pan and does this really seductive dance with them and then when the drum beats change he disengages. Here he revealed that he'd really like to kiss them at this point but he doesn't know how to tell if it is ok. My brain lit up and I said "do you want to know how you can tell?" and he replied in the positive.

I motioned for her to come over and she grinned, came over and I did the number with brushing her hair and running my finger down her cheek and she rose on her toes and closed her eyes and I kissed her full on the lips for a few seconds and pulled away and she stood there for a second and then opened her eyes and lowered back to her feet and said "oh wow". Through the course of the day I laid the seeds with this girl and we spent the night and next day of the festival together, to what would become the chagrin of my friend that went with me, an ex. Another story for another day though.

Following the festival we were in constant contact. She told me she wanted to come visit for a few days at the beginning of this month but just before a mutual friend informed me that she thought that I thought I had fallen in love with her. I carefully spoke to her about it without letting her know our friend had told me and she came to visit and we had an awesome time. Excellent food, sex, spent time with friends in Cleveland etc. She is in the process of moving though and came to visit while her kids were at their grandparents for the week before they made the final leg of their move.

She called me the day they were moving to their new home and texted me quite a bit and then things slowed way down. I've been very careful with it. I text once and if she replies, she replies, if she doesn't, she doesn't. I know she is busy with the kids and getting settled in. One of our friends informed me she may like me more than she wants to admit from their conversations. This guy is someone I can trust in this regard, he's one of her closest friends.

I am not getting oneitis, I have three others in the wings but I want to keep this one on the hook. How do I do this? She's a pretty cool chick, very classy. Our festival story isn't the typical for her. She's usually being chased constantly and never hooks up with anyone. I made sure before I jumped in that she wasn't some festival slut by asking around about her. From what our friend said she's kinda like me, her last relationship burnt her so bad and the break up hurt her kids because they loved the guy so much. From my own conversations with her she is very afraid of getting too close to someone. It's a barrier I know I can break down but how do I break it down without entering the friend zone?

Long post, but I actually got through it. Haha. Can you make some more specific questions? From what I just read, it looks like you're doing fine, and just need to give it some more time.

Suggest some one-on-one opportunities, dates, outings, whatever you want to call them, and make sure you take care of the kids before hand, by arranging for a babysitter. If there's a problem here, it's probably just that she's concerned for her kids, and it would probably be best to not involve the kids as much as you can avoid, so that she doesn't see an attachment from them as a problem just yet. You don't want the kids attached before she's made up er mind of whether she's going to spend time with you or not.

She lives a few hours away. I travel a lot and that is how I get to see her. She was supposed to call last night and didn't so I am doing a freeze out on her as a result. More for my own sake than to punish her or anything. Keep my perspective.

Good job.

Your mindset is shaky. A freeze out will offer you the chance to get it back to a firmer ground as well as creating an interest on her part.

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" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

funnily enough... she texted then called last night. Weird how that works LOL. Perspective maintained as well.