I went on a first date with this girl I number closed in the supermarket last week. Before the first date we were texting regularly and teasing each other in the texts.

As for the date itself, we went to this bar for drinks, and then as we were both hungry I suggested we go for a meal somewhere else (the meal was unplanned). The entire date lasted around 4.5 hours and we did get on pretty well (not really a spark though). I was even trying some kino, such as touching her arm or knee. She didn’t return any kino but didn’t seem uncomfortable by my kino either.

At the end of the date, as we were on the train home together and she got off an earlier stop, a goodnight kiss was difficult. Though, I did go in for the kiss goodbye as she got up and we kind of exchanged kissed (she kissed my cheek while I kissed hers). I then told her to text me when she got home safely as it was quite late. This was the text I received from her:

HB: Hey, thanks for a nice evening. I had a really good time I’m home now, hope u got back ok? x

Me: Thanks, I had a very nice evening too. Off to bed now. I give u a 9 out of 10 for ur behaviour (this was to do with the fact I had been teasing her in earlier texts about her behaving on the date)

This was on the Wednesday night. On the Saturday afternoon I text her as an opener (which I’ve found from a pua website lol):

Me: There, now I’ve texted u, what are ur other 2 wishes

I get no response to this so on the Sunday afternoon I text her:

Me: Lol everyone has wishes. Anyway, how is ur weekend? Have u served anymore charming gentlemen in ……….(supermarket where we met) since me :p

To my total surprise, she still hasn’t responded. I’m not upset in the sense that I liked her (cause I wasn’t really that into her), I’m just irritated by the fact that I have no idea where I went wrong. If a first date can go as well and last as long as that, and still turn out to be a failure, then I have no idea how well a date has to go in order be a success lol!

So my questions lol:

Where did I go wrong?

How shall I play it from here?

I’m tempted to wait around 3 days and text her something along the lines of “let’s just be friends”. A tactic I’ve seen mentioned in pua.

P.S. It’s not all bad though - I had a better date on the Friday night with someone else, and we already agreed the next date during that one. One thing I love about this world, plenty more fish in the sea lol

You have given answer to your own question.

Since she didn't respond on your first textmessage, she will not respond on your second one. No need to wait. Move on.

Before, when similar situation like this arises, I would check my phone every 5 min for her text, and in my head, I've giving her million excuses for not texting me back such as hectic day, busy, phone broken, etc ...
But soon I realize it's rather really simple, if she can't spare 10 sec of her day to text back, that is quite obvious her level of interest is extremely low. So I stop wasting my time on those girls, nowadays if they don't respond, I usually just delete the number and move on.
If they wait couple days or hours to respond, obviously they are just giving you bullshit, when that happens I just respond with a "who is this"

Look man, even you sounded like bullshit hahaha. All of those things were unnecessary to text about her behavior and whatnot. Everything you'd done is cheese, you haven't really done what you should of done: be a male.

That means being seductive: sexual and serious. Think about when you were very little and you liked a girl. You didn't try to think about what to say to tease or or make her laugh. You would instead get close to her...try to kiss her. The kino you did didn't mean much. What you should of done is held your hands out hinting for her to place her hands in yours and then held on to them. Then you should of gotten closer and kiss.

All that other stuff is cheese man, trust me.

wow. you picked up a girl in the supermarket?? i thought that was only in fictional books like the game and in commercials for pua coaches.. you got one date. that's great! that is good experience. just cause u did not kiss her on the lips or did not get a second date is not a big deal. just go get more first dates under your belt! if this girl does not reply, she might be having issues that are outside of your control. you got this one girl to go out with you, it means you can get another different girl to go out with you. get to work bro!

She was being nice and she replied to your one text message.

Then, she didn't care anymore.

Accept it. Move on.

_________________
" You're born alone and you die alone and this world just drops a bunch of rules on top of you to make you forget those facts. But I never forget. I'm living like there's no tomorrow, because there isn't one. "

Ok, I realise this is a no go but what I’m struggling with here is where I went wrong? I’ve had far worse dates that have led on to second dates, so on that basis, I’m confused lol

Thanks, yes it was one of my finest moments getting her number in the supermarket after 2 minutes lol. It's not been a total loss though as the whole experience has been good practice for next time.

I'll tell you what went wrong. It was all fake. You didn't act like a male, it was a waste of time for both you and her. I know it comes off harsh but bear with me, this is what I call constructive criticism, lol.

Ok, so you said it yourself. THERE WAS NOT MUCH OF A SPARK. In order to create that spark, you have to be the gender you already are. Sexual tension is what you were missing. You had all the cheese down but you were missing the real essence of it. Teasing, joking, being "fun" is the cheese. Creating the sexual tension is the essence. You have to risk being creepy, you have to get down and horny with the situation and escalate on her. What that girl really thinks of you is, "He talked nice."

Let me give you a different version of your situation that would've worked out.
-a unique compliment (grabbing her hands and telling her she has pretty hands). Right off the bat you're now thinking "Pretty hands? What the hell!?" Good, that's exactly how it should be.
-seductive eye contact (not staring, but GAZING with a slight head tilt and smile)
-escalation (getting to the "it's on moment" where she feels like leaving with you right away to have sex with you).

Here's what I would of done during the date. I would've grabbed her hand and told her kindly, "Let's get lost, I wanna show you something." I lead her by her hand and get her in an isolated spot and just gaze at her. I would of then looked around as if I had to whisper something to her. Right then and there I'd tilt her chin up with my hand and kiss her but then jolt my head back giving the impression that something might be wrong. I'd then smile and calmly say, "If you don't like it...you can give it back..."

You get my flow now?

forgive yourself and move on. Look at it as a learning experience. You got a number (awesome!) you got a date from that number (awesome!), you had a decent time and she didn't storm off or flake out halfway through (good enough).

Learn from those successes and what worked to get you that far. Then stop worrying about what you did right and start focusing on different tactics to try next time.

Def more escalation. If she isn't responding you aren't being sexual enough and she is just viewing your advances as "friendly". If you got an awkward kiss goodnight, its time to freeze out. Either she won't care and you won't have to deal with it, or she will think she did something wrong and send you a txt which gives you the upper hand for date #2. Let her friends do the convincing for her.

You fouled up even more by sounding like a needy sap with your follow up txts. If a girl ignores your 1st txt, believe she is just busy and will get back to you eventually. If she never does, you know it didn't work out. In that "meantime" while you wait, start gaming other girls. It will get your mind off it and also create a potential safteynet mentally so you're never worried about it failing because another is already waiting.

basic stuff dude. Focus on the good and move forward.

_________________
"Would it be wrong to join sexaholics anonymous to pick-up chicks?" "...yes, and stop eating that baby."

-Psych3r-

why don't you ask her .. she seems the right person to ask. why do you need to find out anyway ? maybe she has some issues....

seriously ... look she flaked , from experience i know she's not going to reply - at least not out of attraction. just text her you don't want anything from her even tho you think she's a nice person and ask her what you did wrong - just out of curiosity. maybe you had to do more kino or maybe she doesn't like to be touched.

_________________
AK-47...When you absolutely positively have to kill every fucking orc in the room
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I totally see what you're saying. Right now I don't think I'd have the confidence to do that fully but I will definitely try and practice it. I think I'll be able to practice (and calibrate my technique) on dates where I don't really care about the girl, so I won't mind so much if I screw up lol!

Thanks, really appreciate the feedback. I will learn from both the successes and failures. To be fair, I always intended it to be a learning experience and it is certainly turning out to be one lol

Not a bad idea, and might even do that. My only concern is that I’d probably see her again in the supermarket where she works.

Why, but WHY you send a text after she didn't responded to the one before?

You really think she can't read?


Things can be very easy.