hey everyone,

i got an hb's number on saturday night & texted her on sunday. all of sunday, we texted back & forth, mostly joking around & getting to know each other. i tried to set up a date but she suggested doing a group thing; she brings friends, i bring a friend, & we have drinks on the patio. the only problem is our schedules conflict (i work days, she works evenings) & we're both unavailable until next saturday, which means i have a whole week to try & hold her interest.

some of the questions i have are:
i) is the group thing a good idea?
ii) should i have rejected it & tried to get a 1-on-1 date instead?
iii) how often should i text & when?
iv) she told me to text her during work to cheer her up (i offered), should i do it?
v) how can i hold her interest for a week so she follows through w/ her plans?

Its definitely much better to do a one on one date, but if the group thing is all she's comfortable with right now, then just do that.

How often should you text..well, thats up to you. As long as she's responding, then its perfectly fine to text as much as you want.

The best way to hold her interest for a week is to talk to her on the phone. It creates a better connection than texting does. If you have a good 30 minute phone conversation (maybe longer if its going well) she will feel more connected to you than if you only text her...

But the fact that you are concerned about keeping her interest for a week shows that you have a much bigger issue, which is your mentality. Your mentality right now is that you have to DO something in order for her to stay interested. If shes already interested in you, then don't worry about it so much. You should be coming from the mentality that she likes you and everything is all good. Not the mentality that if you don't do something to keep her interested, shes gonna lose interest in you all of a sudden.

Make sense?

thanks for your feedback man, i appreciate it. yeah, my mentality isn't that great when it comes to holding interest b/c i don't think i built enough attraction during the initial interaction. i've had situations like this before where it was a quick, but effective interaction & the number close was a breeze. however, over time the interest would go away as either me or her would message less & by the time we'd both be free, we're both kind of apprehensive to meet. i'm not much of a phone talking guy, but i do think you're right about it. what are some good ways to get fr. texting to talking on the phone?

I know I've been replying to all your stuff, but in my opinion your only goal in this stage of the game is to decrease apprehension for the meet up. So be funny and fun, don't put too much pressure on her but keep the frame sexual. Text her every two or three days, have at least a quick conversation. You can also call her saying "The funniest thing just happened to me, listen" and don't give it a chance to be awkward.

All of what's been said is good stuff. In regards to the group date, I would like to introduce something I've read in a book, forgot where...

The author's theory was that seduction should take place across two different dates: A comfort date, where you decide if you're comfortable with her and she's comfortable with you, and a seduction date, where you do all of your actual seducing. I don't agree with the theory. I think you can do it all at once, and that every date is a "seduction date". But in your case, you should try this out. Go ahead and have a first date with this HB, and do it in a group setting. Build comfort here. Then, plan another date which you should view as a seduction date. No group, or other people. If she still isn't comfortable with you enough to go on a one-on-one date after your comfort date, this deal is going nowhere, and you should just find another HB that isn't so standoffish.

Good luck!

Yeah FreshPrince is pretty much right. Seperating it into 2 dates (one to build comfort and the other to seal the deal) is usually a waste of time, but if shes not comfortable to meet up for a one on one, then this method of 2 dates would definitely work.

A good way to go from txting to talking on the phone is to text her something like this:

YOU: OMG, something just reminded me of you. Its a kind of awkward situation, but its funny
HER:what is it!!??!
YOU:Hold on, too much to text, ill call you in a little bit
(then call her a few hours later. She'll usually be dying to hear what it is that reminded you of her)

And then when you get her on the phone (I know this is kind of skeezy, but whatever, it works) I usually just make up a stupid funny story, or Ill tell a real story and say that of the people in the story had her name or was a soccer player just like she is or whatever and thats y it reminded me of her....

But listen, the problem isn't that you didn't create enough attraction in the initial interaction. Attraction isn't what makes girls want to see you again. The problem is that you didn't create enough investment. The best way that this is done is through qualification. You gotta find out things about her that you like and tell her that you like because of those things. I suggest you do this while you're on the phone with her.

@ TheFreshPrince:

yeah, i totally agree, i think you could build comfort & seduce in one date; but i guess if it's the hand i'm given, it's the one i'll take. prior to reading any PUA material, i could always number close but now that i know the tricks of the trade, i find that i lack comfort-building in my pick-up so that's definitely something i need to work on. i'm so used to operating w/ my old habits that i have to kind of stop & think about all the "game" stuff (ie qualification, comfort, etc.). & yeah, i figured this is some kind of comfort test for her so if it doesn't lead to a one-on-one date, i'm dropping it. thanks TheFreshPrince.

@ SteveUrkel:

dude, that's pretty solid, i'm definitely gonna use that text, thanks man. now i just have to make up a story lol. & i agree w/ the qualification, i was thinking of doing that the next time we talk.

This is a bit late but anyway...

You don't need to text her at all if the date is locked in. be mysterious, just remember, your a busy man and you need to make time for her because you think she's special, and she'll like that

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Bite of more then you can chew
Then chew like hell

My Journey:viewtopic.php?f=22&t=192265

yeah, i've found that messaging her less & shortening my messages have been working like a charm lately. it also doubles as a suspense builder that allows me to save my better material for the actual day 2. thanks a lot man.

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Mr. Jones

This exactly solves your main question, good luck