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So more than six months have passed since I first discovered the game, and pick-up and decided to just be natural and try and put everything into practice and not feel at all apprehensive about approaching that HB9/HB10 stunner in the street, and although I am slowly learning and getting my feet wet I am still yet to really score but I wondered if anyone could critique my methods and how I have interpreted, so here are a number of diverse PUA related topics and my takes on them and how they have affected me before and after learning about sarging. (sorry, just love that S word!)
The biggest limiting belief I have eliminated - "solo sarging makes you look wierd and nobody can pick up girls in the daytime"
Total nonsense. To hell with the cliches about pulls and hookups happening on an alcohol stained dancefloor in a rip-off club. As long as you use common sense and seize the moment, approach the target on the street or wherever by relaxing, standing tall, being calm and saying "excuse me" to pace their reality then it will not look weird.
I use (sometimes false) time constraints, and all my openers have been indirect but with some banter mixed in and spontaneous transitions (e.g. guessing where she is from and what her career is etc.) which has led into really interesting conversations and even some mild mutual kino escalation and one or two kisses on the cheek (woo-hoo, talk about little things giving massive confidence boosts!) BUT that is as far as I can go - I can not master number closing and D2 etiquette for fear of looking like a creepy dork and that's it, she becomes just a single serving friend and a five minute wonder. OK, what could I do here, and I am still unsure about exactly how/where and when to properly try direct.
The real reasons for wanting to get into PUA
Quite simply, I have had enough of admiring from afar and now was time to try and learn how to actually get over anxiety and chat to that hottie without making it look too obvious you are trying to chat them up. But also, I hope this doesn't sound like a total contradiction here but pick-up is not the be-all-end-all and I would be just as happy to be LJBF'd. Picture the scene, I see an attractive girl and just like any of you here I open (indirect) and we chat and get rerally friendly and even #close and maybe meet again but no kiss or anything. At the very least I will have made a good new friend which is better than nothing so one way or another, I want to master this because things like that sound like a win-win situation. And this would boost my social circle, create good social proof as well wouldn't it? And the more I do this, the more experienced and natural I get and the more I am able to pick-up anyone at any time or place, even a good old holiday fling!
The inner game issues I really need help with
In a nutshell:-
- A general lack of confidence, history of depressions and other such issues that can sometimes make me doubt myself and ask if I am worthy of it all.
- Lacking the guts to try at least a semi-direct opener without being paranoid about being judged, laughed at, humiliated or some kind of cockblock like the girl's friends or a nosey busybody interfering and getting rid of me and "saving" the girl from Mr.PUA
- Always sarging alone, and the lack of social proof this may carry. I fear, maybe irrationally but still fear, being seen as a bit of a loner.
So, does anyone think I have been learning the right way or not? And if not, what exactly can I do to really improve?
There may be a few other topics I forgot too but maybe I will remember them later, but what advice can anyone give especially from personal experiences and how they all began and what they learnt and how exactly I can make any progress to becoming a natural!
ok let me start with a little background of me. i am currently about 3-4 months into this "pua journey"/self help journey. I do cold approach direct daygame on college campuses( cuz i go to college and thats where the targets i want are)
i find that going indirect is weak and can waste alot of time. you can waste more than 15 mins talking to a girl only to find out she isn't interested for whatever reason at the end. lots of time wasted. i know this isnt probable what you want to hear but i encourage you to try to go direct
when I started, i built a foundation of my skills. afterall all the other stuff is useless if you can't open. So for awhile my only focus was to open directly and i long i as opened it was a success. So to get your confidence up in going direct try this exercise of starting the conversation by giving her a compliment. Like "excuse me Hi! i just had to say that i think you look really cute/adorable/pretty/ etc." and then leave.
once i got opening down (to the point where i do not get nervous anymore) i focused on how to transition into normal conversation. To do this, after i open i usually throw of a completely wrong cold read or assumption. like either what she does for a living or where she is from. now that i found out a bit about her i start screening her for qualties that i am looking for
stuff like is she single? is she fun? whatever you want in a girl. then its all about finding a common thing arranging a meeting then getting the number. All within a matter of about 5 minutes. sometimes i push the set a bit longer depending on how interesting she is or if we have a legit time constraint.
heres my reasons for getting into PUA:
I have many friends who are just terrible with women to the point to where they have told me they have given up looking for a girl. They are the type of who think that no women could find them attractive. Some of them hide behind a false set of standards saying the reason that they do not talk to girls is because they arent their perfect 10. My father never taught me how to get girls, when i asked him about it he would say "keep your head in school and the girls will work themselves out when you can get done school" like what great advice is that. I have a cousin who is 19 and still a virgin and he has like 6 yrs kung fu training but he is too scared to talk to a girl he likes. My goal of getting into PUA is to get good enough at so that I can teach my friends and family how to be more confident and i want to be able to teach my son what my father couldnt.
as for your reasons for getting into PUA, i think you might want to re-evaluate what you really want from this. If you real goal is to get into LJBF's zone you do not game to do that. Just engage in smalltalk and never escalate physically and you will get there pretty easily. as for the win-win situation did you ever hear of the story where the man meets the woman and it doesnt work out between and they go their separate ways to go meet their dream girl/guy and live happily lives. they both end up winning from it not working out between them. to me rejection just means she isn't the one for me, but that does not mean you give up at the first sign of resistance. I generally follow a 3 strikes you're out rule.
I just want to ask what have been your results so far from going indirect? cuz so far i got a good bit of number closes, a few kiss closes, and a full close out of direct game.
CHAT
