Hey guys! How's it going?

To start off I would like to give some background information on the girl I'm seeing. She recently broke up with her BF and still didn't recover from it totally. I noticed this by tweets,fb status etc. Now this girl lives in the same street and she used to have a crush on me a couple of years back,like 2 years ago. Now we kind of reconnected but we don't get to see eachother often but when we do it seems like she's interested always smiling, a bit shy around me, initiating contact. But then when I invite her to do something she flakes more often than not and then a couple days after she asks me to do something together (women ay?). So I'm wondering why is she doing this? She flakes on my dates but asks me to go on a date a couple days after.

So she texted me today asking if we were gonna spend time together but I was busy and replied with something along the lines of "I can't tonight, I'm already meeting some friends" and she replied with asking if I was going to the gym on thursday (She knows that I'm at the gym every day, maybe it's important for you to know this stuff) so yeah we're going to the gym together thursday. Which is great since she's never really been to the gym so I can kino a lot when helping her do an exercise. Now here's the plan: there's a bowling really close to the gym so I figured we could go bowling first and then hit the gym after. IMO Bowling is a great way to really bond and kino.

Question Time:

- Should I tell her that we are going bowling first or just tell her that I have a little surprise? If i'm telling her I'm actually going to force her a bit by saying "I made reservations at the local bowling place we are totally gonna go bowling" or something,you get the idea. There's no way on earth that she can flake if I put it like that
- Should I go for the k-close at the end or just give like, I don't know how to put this, but one of them movie-goodbyes with a good kiss on the cheek all slowed down? Because I think the BF issue might force her to LMR
- Any additional info or tips?

Thanks guys and sorry for the long post !

Well I think you can ask her to meet up at some place and just do bowling for a while and skip the gym haha.

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You didn't read or understand it properly. She has a serious problem on flaking. Whenever she didn't organize it, she flakes. Therefor me asking her to change her plans is absolute suicide. She organized going to the gym together so I want to at least give the impression that we're doing that and ofc I don't want her showing up at the bowling place in gym clothes.

I'm gonna ask her to meet at my place and take her gym clothes with her and handle it from there.

She's on the rebound. Typical way of reaction for a girl who's on the rebound. I've been there before, just play it cool... take it easy.

Telling her you were busy was the best thing to do.

Your plan looks solid. I wouldn't make it a "surprise", just mention it at some point during the training like "hey, you know what would be fun? We should go bowling at [place name] after showering" then proceed with another rep or w/e.

You can judge how to bring it back depending on the way she answers. If she makes it sound like she wants to, ask closer to the end of the workout (not at the end, easier to flake saying she's toasted or w/e). If she makes it sound like she doesn't want to, say something right ahead like it might be for another day then. Don't ask again that day as it would sound needy.

If she comes bowling, you have good IOI, do go for a kclose at the bowling place. To prevent LMR, make sure you escalate, don't just dive in to kiss, it will feel natural to her. Idea that comes to mind is tease kino on the way out and as you step outside, grab her by the waist, have her face you and dive in.

Another thing I would try is if you do get kclose, try to bounce to another location (coffee, drinks, dinner, snack), again if she refuses, don't ask again.

Basically, to have her move off the rebound, you have to make her feel comfortable with you. To do so, have her feel like all of this is happening naturally, nothing is forced onto her (reason why she is flaking when you are setting meets but isn't when she is).

Hope this helps.

Cheers!

Great post finally someone who understands the situation. You're exactly right on the rebound part! I was thinking the same thing. Just one thing you mention if I do get the kclose try to bounce her to another location if she refuses don't ask again. I don't think anyone will refuse after kclosing but maybe that's just me. Anyways I'm looking forward to it. Life's too short!

EDIT: Just going through your post again if she actually doesn't wanna go bowling I can make an awesome neg about it so it wouldn't actually be that much of a deal. But then how do I follow up? I was thinking about freezing out after she flaked on me if we had a good time that is. IMO she will start missing me at one point and invite me again. One thing I'm not sure about is how to say goodbye when she did flake. Just a regular goodbye or do I slow down movie style you know what I mean