Gentlemen of the forum,

I respectfully request your opinions and advice regarding a very specific dilemma.

Me: 33 years old, single for 7 months, tall and athletic, I typically look and feel the alpha male part, most women find me quite attractive (honestly), natural cocky/funny personality until I like the girl (aweful I know), zero PUA knowledge. My biggest problem is one-itis and the resulting AFC tendencies, which obviously becomes a bore and a turn-off for girls that I end up having feelings for. Girls I don't care for won't leave me alone, then I end up chasing away most girls I really like.

Her: 23 years old, stunning model-esque looks, at the "tail-end" of a relationship, great personality, smart, etc...

The situation: In Chicago, boat owners will often go out to an area known as the "playpen". We tie boats up together, party, and have a great time. I met this lovely young women at one of these boat parties this last Saturday through a mutual friend. We flirted all day, then went out together that night, had an...ummm...AMAZING chemistry filled night (and morning) of passion. It was one of those rare, intense, chemistry-oozing hook-ups filled with both great sex, but also with hours of kissing and talking. (AFC already?--maybe.) She proceeds to tell me that she hasn't felt like this in "forever", that she really likes me, is intensely attracted to me, etc...BUT that she is in an 8 month relationship which she is unsatisfied with. Hmmm...she goes on to say she obviously can't tell exactly how long it will drag out...yada yada yada...she doesn't want to lead me on...etc.

As shocking as this was, I completely brushed it off it in the moment. I barely discussed the situation, then spent the entire next day with her acting like one of those disgusting cute couples--seriously AMAZING chemistry with this girl. We literally PDA'd all over Chicago until 5 the next day. In total I spent around 30 hours with this girl from the moment I met her.

We now have plans to meet at a bar on Thursday, and to go to a party together on Saturday.

I am fully aware that this girl may be either an attention whore or a straight up slut. After all, this ain't my first rodeo guys.

If all I do is bang this chick for a while, later find out she isn't for me (see slut/attention whore comment), I would be ok with that.

However, right now, I REALLY like her, and harbor some pipe-dream of perhaps being with her in the future. (Again, very AFC, one-itis shit, I know.)

I assume that disussing feelings should be off-limits from my side, but she already opened that can of worms--and unfortunately I revealed too much. Sigh. At the moment she is still interested and attracted to me, but I can easily see her losing interest if I am an AFC bore.

How do I become the alpha male here?

Please advise.

Thanks,

C

i am no expert at being alpha, but i would do this:

1/ do not SAY what you feel, but SHOW it.

do not tell her bullshit like "oh, i like you so much", etc. you don't do this shit with a girl you know for a couple of days. it is scary. SHOW what you want to say. You like her? go out with her , kiss her, etc.

also, do not ALWAYS do what she wants. She wants to fuck? Show a bit of resistance. She wants to cuddle? same


2/ Go date OTHER WOMAN. Probably the most important. having oneitis is because you don't have options. As soon as you date another girl besides this one, you wont be so much all over her.


good luck bro

Thanks for the response. Great advice as well!

One note, I am feeling oneitis for this girl because of how well we clicked and how redicilously hot she is (HB9/10). I am dating plenty of other women right now--but I don't quite feel the chemistry with them, and none of them are above HB7's. I suppose your advice about dating other women is still apt, if amended to date other HB9's! -- but that isn't exactly easy to pull off.

You had amazing chemistry so it had an impact on you (call it a chemical burn LOL) There is nothing wrong with sexual chemistry and passion, that is why we are all here and women love it too. Enjoy it and value it but don't tarnish it by worrying about what the future brings.

Alphas are in the moment. AFCs worry about what the future will bring or worry about what she is thinking/feeling etc.

What is AFCish about your dilema is you are worried that she is going to see the "real" you and that she will lose interest.

Well, OK, she might. There is just as much chance that once the hormone levels come down you will see the "real" her and you may lose interest in her as well.

What makes someone come down with oneitis is when you emotionally "INVEST" too soon. You are emotionally investing because you had such a rush because of all the chemistry and passion etc and you want to feel that all the time.

REALITY CHECK - IT AIN'T GONNA LAST NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. Eventually that initial rush is gonna fade and in time you are going to see her dirty underwear and smell her stinky feet and get fed up with her goofy friends.

We find "the one" by spending time with them and getting to know them on a true and personal level. Sometimes we love what we see when we truly get to know the real "THEM." Many times we don't.

You are assuming that since she is young and hot and sexual that she is the perfect human and that you are somehow lesser before her. She is NOT all that and you are NOT a lesser being. You are both just people and you shared something special for a weekend. You both may remember that as a very special weekend for the rest of your lives. It may be something you wink at each other when your grandchildren ask how you met. Or it may just be a memory you look back on years from now even though you haven't spoken to each other since that weekend.


Yes she is a cheater. you know better than anyone else what she is like behind closed doors with other people. She's no goddess. she's just a person.

My advice is enjoy the memories. Go ahead and give her a call and enjoy your discussion. Go out with her again if you can and enjoy her company.

BUT DONT LOSE YOUR HEAD and don't invest in her what you aren't willing to lose.

Don't stop seeing other people and don't put your life on hold for her and don't let her determine your happiness or sanity. Let her come into your world but don't sacrifice your world to try to be in her's (That's AFC)

WOW! Another excellent post!

I gotta say, I am impressed by this PU community.

A sincere thanks for helping me put this into perspective, gentlemen.