the title is literal. it will be pretty much the first girl i will ever approach and im scared out of my mind. i tried today and couldnt so thats why i decided
'this is it im tired of this ill get me some help'.
so basically I need a starting point that hopefully is achievable so i can get that reference point and iddie biddie bit of confidence that my sub conscious so desperately needs
i thank you for even taking the time to read this

Hi. I'm pretty new to this too, and was having massive problems and anxiety when attempting to approach.

I'm generally talking about day game, or quiet bar game (if there is such a thing) so this may not be as helpful to you if you're into 'noisy bar game' LOL

I found that to feel Ok about approaching a girl, I needed to get into a 'chatty' state of mind first.

So, before even having the mindset of approaching and chatting up a girl, and before I get to where I'm going, I would start off by just asking normal random questions to people I come across on the way: "Excuse me, have you got the time ?" etc.. or "Do you know where (name of a local bar) is?". To guys, girls, old people, anybody.

Every time you talk to the next person, just add an extra comment or a question after they've answered, and then gradually, guess what ? Your in a conversation.

After a few short conversations with totally random people you don't know, you'll find you're in the right state of mind to progress to opening your prefered target.

It's actually really weird how quickly you move into the right 'state'.

I hope this helps you a little, it helped me when someone told me.

Day game is pretty much all i can do because of my age (17).

that is a great idea and might actually work. the only problem i can think of is that i am at the stage where even that might be challenging.

A great place to start none the less, thanks

I read somewhere about 'psychological reference points' we produce in our minds when we do things.

Stopping someone and asking directions to somewhere you'll probably find quite easy once you've done it a few times, because you have produced a positive 'reference point' in your mind about 'asking directions'. In other words when you ask a stranger for directions you usually have a positive response. Then you'll find you'll have no trouble, and no anxiety about asking anyone for directions.

Similar to what I was saying before, making very small/gradual advances (but over a long period of time) (adding a comment or 2, or asking another question) will produce more positive reference points which will give you more confidence in these situations.

Over a long period (not just to get you into a chatty state quickly) you will find starting conversations easy, and again just gradually advancing to chatting to hot girls you'll find no problem at all.

Push yourself a little out of your comfort zone every day and you'll be just fine.

If you keep on these forums and read things from people here who really know what they're talking about (not me ! Lol) you'll get good in no time.