This is specifically referring to those relationships where the “spark” has decayed because your girlfriend is getting bored of the same jokes you use every fucking week. It’s better to be admit to yourself that your relationship is going downhill than rationalize your position and wait till she leaves you for someone else to do something about it. This is not necessarily the “best” way, nor the only way, but the easiest way. It’s a three-step process.


1. Be less available. Go no contact, ignore texts more often, call her less, disappear randomly sometimes, and turn off your phone for two days. If the patriarchal dynamic required to maintain a successful relationship becomes disturbed, the man must regain power by forcing himself to become the person who cares less. If you want to keep a girl, you must not be afraid to lose her. If you push for more attention when she is trying to get space from you – you will only push her further away from you.


2. Make some type of drastic improvement to your self and make sure she notices. Start going to the gym for 3 hours a day, suddenly throw out all your clothes and dress MUCH better than before, or get a promotion at work. The form of improvement is irrelevant as long as it accomplishes these three goals: It must make her wonder WHY you are working so hard (why is he suddenly going to the gym?), it must make her more attracted to you (wow he looks a lot better), and it must give you more confidence (oh shit, I do look better).


3. Make another girl like you. It’s not evil, people WANT to be seduced. Your intention is to create a breeding ground for emotional fluctuations in your girlfriend, especially ones that increase attraction and sexual anxiety.
***You must retain plausible deniability in whatever way you choose to do #3. It cannot be “obvious” that you’re using jealousy to delineate attraction.

I guarantee copious amounts of vagina and temporary pain in your foreskin from fucking too much in the weeks that follow.

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My Blog: www.solvemygirlproblems.com

I like your tips, and i agree with them, but i want to point out that they kind of serve a double purpose...
they allow you to move on, and get over the situation someone may be in. which, in many cases, is really the best thing to do.

thanks for sharing man

That sir, is in itself an amazing piece of knowledge.

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Social interactions and fun, that's why I'm here.

Thanks comrade I will put those techniques into use...I had posted something about a crumbling relationship...lets see if it will work, which I'm sure it will...thanks brother.

If a relationship truly is "dying," saving
It will only serve you to get laid a few more times, but not really save the relationship. This usually means something about you and her dont fit. I just leave when the situation seems grim to preserve the good emotional attachment left between me and the girl.

People who have no strength to let go when things seem hopeless and pointless are usually the ones who end up in a hateful and unfaithful relationship.

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Bow chika wow wow

I think all those steps are unnecessary. In fact, they will cause her to resent you and maybe even prevent the option of getting back together. I think if you want to break it off, have a long conversation (notice i said conversation, not argument) with her about the relationship, its current state and how you are feeling. Then see if she feels the same. If so, make a clean break. If she doesnt feel how you feel, you can still break it off, just be cool about it, dont argue with her, say what needs to be said then leave. let her deal with it alone.

Mr. Amazing, that sounds like a reasonable approach if I were going to a business meeting- man to man. But when you're dealing with a woman, they think/rationalize differently. I would rather indirectly try to feel out her emotions, to find her true emotions.

Go out and do some activity with the girl, its the summer- there's so many things to do that you can make exciting. If she's not feeling it, I'd just call her out on it and leave it at that. Sitting her down for a "serious talk" is never comfortable for the girl. Hold her hand, girls love that. If they're not reaching for your hand the next time, it may be time to just move on.

This is definitely very complex, great advice and since I did the opposite during the times in my marriage where I tried to save it, it only back fired. What I mean by that, I did exactly opposite of what OP said. I was always available, did everything for her and that only turned her away more. So lesson learned, do as OP said, but its a fine line that needs to be walked. If you do it too much you signal that you are not interested and open the door to cheating, games and other stuff but do it enough and you get the girl to go crazy over you. I still have not found that balance, maybe I will someday but for now I am calibrating

Solid tips. I'd also include picking up hobbies and dedicating yourself to them. Girls love that.

wish i had known this sooner.

it's the truth.

This, guys. Is actually the absolute truth. I wonder how many of us have lost the girl we absolutally Loved to bits only because we tried to hard and showed the girl how co-dependent we were.

OP is correct. That's some solid advice that I WISH I would have read like a lil over a year ago. I can tell you this would have saved it. That part with guys having hobbies and girls loving it is on the dot. They might complain or roll there eyes about your hobbies, but they love it. Wish I would have realized that in a relationship there still needs to be space, and time together. I thought that was the point of a relationship, to be together all the time. Surely, that was my biggest failure.

I love the advice man, spot on. And like msot good advice, before you hear it, it seems couter-intuitive.

One thing I noticed about trying to save a relationship is that if you look at the difference from when it was a strong relationship and when it was a weak one, then ask yourself "why are these differences present?".

I'll give you an eg. In my current relationship I realised that things might be getting stale as opposed to the fun, dynamic and general awesome connection that we had at the start. I realised that I'd changed my avatar slightly. I was no longer seeing her as a girl I wanted to sarge and so I'd dropped all the stuff I'd learnt from the community and from my own reading. Now I realise I'm one step from advocating sarging your gf throughout the entire relationship (which isn't my message here), but I'm just pointing out that sometimes you can forget or become lazy with your game. If you arn't doing the same fun things that made her like you when you got together, then why should that emotion still be there. Cause and effect. You sarged her, she liked you. You drop your game and remove any signs of sarging, she likes you less.


I just wanna state that this is only applicable to those who got with in a LTR from sarging, not to people who joined the PUA community after the relationship started.

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- The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed

- You make your own luck

Im currently in this position, im willing to give it a try.. i will keep you all informed

How can I slowly pull back like that with out her getting all insecure on me? (She's very insecure) I wanna shorten compliments, lag texts/ignore her sometimes, etc. we're both very stubborn so I know if I start acting differently like that, she will too..so any tips?