I have been reading posts like crazy, asking you guys for advice, giving a little of what I know (it's give and take, right? ) and watching the video links. I've found a few PUA that I have been emailing with, as well, for more advice. This has been for a short time, about a month. I decided to take what I've learned and give it go last night. I hope my report does give some insight on female perspective and doesn't come across as shallow or bragging. I am looking for any holes in what I did so that I can improve it for next time. Advice is greatly appreciated!

I ended up going out with just one friend, the other two had to get up early and chickened out on us. Since it was just us, I took my Miata and had the top down. We have the music turned up and we are talking and having a great time on the way there. When we start getting into downtown, we are at a red light next to a convertible Camaro with 4 people in it; 2 guys, 2 girls. They compliment my car and I compliment right back (I love Camaros, I've owned 4 throughout the years, though none with a drop top). There was another car on the other side that strikes up a conversation at the next light about me trying to keep my hair out of my face. Short conversations, but enough to get me laughing a bit and feeling more relaxed. After parking, again lots of compliments on the car and short conversation with random people, we head to a dance club that gay people like to frequent, but it isn't a gay club. Plenty of straight people! It's just a little hard to tell sometimes! Immediately, I'm in lust with the bouncer! I start chatting a little with the go go dancer that is standing next to him that is out presumably for fresh air while he is checking my ID. She has some pretty rocking fishnets on, we're girls, we talked clothing for a minute. I noticed he hadn't given my ID back so I look at him and he is staring pretty intently and asks what my MOS was (military ID). My boyfriend was Army, so I tell him that. He looks crestfallen. (very flattering! I would give him a 9) I touch him lightly on the arm (my first ever kino NOT working as a bartender or waitress) and tell him not to look so sad, we date other people. He brightened up quickly and makes it a point to say my name in the next couple of sentences. I didn't tell him, he was really checking my ID. He glanced at my friend's ID, we get stamped and in we go. Not many people are there, which makes me happy. It seems less intimidating. I know the bartender a little from being there before, but it's been a while. We talk a little and I mention the new bouncer. I told him I had developed an instant crush. He laughs a bit and before he can say anything, I touch his arm and told him that I used to have a crush on him, but he blew me off! (this is a joke, he has a girlfriend and she doesn't share) So we joke a bit more back and forth and my friend and I mosey to the dance floor. I never dance. Not rarely dance; never dance. I need to start getting comfortable in my own skin, though, so we dance. My friend is almost staring at me with her jaw on the floor! I never do any of this! She is starting to cheer me on with my new found confidence and we talk, laugh and dance for a long while. We decide to go down a block to another club. On the way out, the bouncer asks why we are leaving already. We tell him we will be back. He says my name again as he is asking why so soon. I said wow, you have a great memory. He replies that he really doesn't. I say, ah-ha! it must be the cleavage! (another joke and I lightly touch his arm as we pass) He says no, it's definitely the face. No way! It's always the cleavage! I tell him. How dare you look at my face! That is so disrespectful! (again, big smile to show I am only having fun with it) He jokes back that they must be fantastic to be better than my face, to which I blush and tell him we will be back later and he can intrigue me more with his logic. We go to the other, it's completely dead! No fun, so we take our time going back. I smoke cloves a bit, so we stopped at the car to grab some. No smoking indoors here, so guess where I had to be? Out next to my new boyfriend. (and again, wow he's pretty!) We make a little small talk, I use light kino and talk a little more seriously. I can't always joke, right? We go back in, dance with the go-go dancer we chatted up at the door. She is really sweet and a great dancer. She had been dancing with another guy that she tells us is a dear friend and the sweetest guy ever. She has to get back to work and her friend is still there, so I pull him over lightly to give him a chance to reject the offer. He comes and dances with both of us. Go-go dancer joins in for a bit. It's tons of fun! We are having a great time I am completely relaxed at this point because everything seems to be going very well. I notice the bouncer has changed places, he is no longer at the door, but next to the dance floor to keep our go-go dancer safe from the creeps. I mosey up to the DJ and make a few requests. During one of my requests, I go up to the bouncer and playfully dance close to him facing away. I have my friend in front of me, so I don't look stupid! He tells us he loves the better view, so we chat a bit more. We are burning up! So we head out front for a bit to cool down. While outside we chat with a big group of birthday celebraters. My friend and I both think we are being hit on by these two chicks. Flattering, again! Back to the dance floor.... I'm dancing with my friend again, there is a pole in the middle and it's vacant. So we go. Why not, right? Girl with a rocking body comes up (she is obviously into chicks) and starts dancing with me. I go with it for a while. I tell my friend (while she is dancing with the 'sweet guy') that I need to keep my bouncer's interest. I go back by him, we chat some more. Go-go dancer joins us. Great conversation. I use light kino on both and tell her the 5 questions game. She loved it. Her and I go dance a bit more with my friend and her new dance partner. All of this moving around and high energy SPAM is making me hot! I keep messing with my hair, which all of the guys seemed to like. For the first time ever, everyone was staring and my anxiety didn't bother me. I didn't even think about it. Before we got there I told my friend a little about my research and how I had a really good outlook because of a great mentality idea I had read about. I can't remember who said it, but her and I are both gamer chicks, so it suits us. The advice was to pretend it's like a video game. If you die, no big deal, you get another life! (of course this was explained much more eloquently, but that's the basics of it) If you crash and burn on the first try, that's just one person, right? There are plenty of other people there to try it out on. She loved that just as much as I did! I think that helped me get my mindset right before I even left my house. Well, it's the end of the night. My friend has to get up early and I am her ride. She is only about 5 minutes away, so I tell my bouncer I will be back to say goodnight. I take her home and she tells me how proud of me she is, which makes me feel great. She says that is the most fun she has had going out with me in a while. This is encouraging!!! I stop back by to say goodnight like I promised and he is now off for the night. We go to his truck, (not in it!!) and talk a bit. In the middle he just says screw it and kisses me. (!!!) He's aggressive, which I like. I tell him he is pretty feisty. He says you have to be something in life, which made me laugh. I didn't expect that as a reply. He asks for my number, then immediately calls me so I have his. Or possibly to make sure I gave him the right one....which I did. He wanted to close the rest of the way, but alas...I'm not that kind of girl. I tell him and he says he can respect that. Then asks if I'm coming back to entertain him some more tomorrow night while he works. I reply 'maybe.'

So, how did I do? I know that is really long, but I don't know what is significant and what isn't at this point....

Use some paragraphs please. That was hard to get through, but I was interested to hear the perspective from the other side.

I don't really get the fPUA side, can you explain where you're coming from socially? It seems to me that if you're willing to open and kino a guy, you can probably get him, while there's a lot more social resistance coming from girls that guys have to make our way through. If you used to have poor social skills, I can understand getting into PUA to help that, just like any guy would, but a kiss close on your first night sarging just makes the whole thing seem too easy.

AHHH! That wasn't supposed to be submitted yet! That was actually my rough draft. I normally proof read everything I do at least twice. If you read my other posts you will see this one is completely off. So, very sorry for the awful layout.


As for the social standpoint, I am very high anxiety and low self image. It's mental blocks that I have built up around myself through out the years. I explain this in pretty good detail in my introduction. Women do have it easier, no doubt, but we still have all of the same issues guys have. I think the point of PUA is that it should be easy. People make it hard for themselves.
Out of all of the things that I have been studying, the thing I come across in almost every post is the fear of rejection and how it is one of the biggest obstacles that we all need to over come. Like most, I needed it explained in a way I could relate to and it also helps to know that I am not alone in my inner struggle.
I froze up every time in the past two years that I have started going back out. Yesterday was the day that I decided that I was going to prove myself wrong. I can get what I want again, I just have to over come myself.
Just because I was successful does not mean that it was easy for me to do. I did get rejected by three guys. I later found out they were gay, but I didn't know that at the time and I didn't let it get me down too bad.

Yea, like Slip n Slide I thought it was interesting to see the perspective of the opposite sex too.

Thanks for sharing your experiences.

Well done for pushing yourself so well. I liked how you mentioned that you never dance because you dont feel comfortable in your own skin but later write about dancing in front of the bouncer you were tageting. That kind of "barrier bashing" is always inspirational to hear.

Good luck with your continuing journey!

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My second night with Jackal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPdJzLw9 ... re=related

Meet-up and Wings:
why-would-jackal-want-you-phone-test-th ... 85260.html

I think the reason I was able to dance in front of him (I didn't do it like an aspiring stripper or anything, it was more playful than seductive) is because I knew he was already interested in me by our previous encounter.
I went again last night and wasn't able to use any of my new stuff! Not complaining, but it was one guy after another approaching me. I was nice to every one of them, I know how hard it is! I think my first attempt Friday was enough to break down some other barriers, like the anxiety and fear of rejection. I know I look much more friendly and much less nervous now.
The girl friend I went with was approached by a very angry looking man who decided the best pick up he could come up with was 'do you ever smile? or do you just glare all of the time?' We had been laughing, joking and flirting the whole night! I had gone out side for a minute and when I came back she tells me all about it saying that it was the absolutely most insulting pick up she ever heard because of how he said it. She went on to say that she would have been nice to him even though she wasn't interested, but he gave a terrible approach and wasn't very nice to her. So careful on the approach guys! Smile!! If I can do it, you can
I tried some advice that I got to experiment with my look a little to gauge different responses and I got a completely different reaction. That would probably work for you guys, too. I did a halter top the first night that was very sultry and last night I went for a baby doll top that is more sweet and innocent. I was approached much more with the second, although I thought I looked better in the first. I found that interesting. So I would say try something new even if you don't think people will respond as well, they just might. It just goes to show that everyone likes things different and your own perspective of how you look in something isn't how others will see it.
It could have also been that I was more comfortable in the baby doll top because I didn't have to wear something digging into the back of my neck all night. It gets painful after a while!

Yup! Girls are intimidating, especially for AFCs, anything to reduce that helps a lot (I wonder how to translate that lesson for the opposite sex). I'm glad you're seeing the results of the work!

Guys that look like they spent more time than I did to get ready are the ones that I will likely avoid. I look for the guys that show their confidence in other ways. For instance, I asked a guy to dance with me weeks ago and he was probably the most well groomed guy there and I was too shy to really talk to him beyond the dance we had. The bouncer was wearing nice jeans and nice t-shirt. He is well groomed, but had a few days of stubble (which suits him) and you could tell he was comfortable in what he was wearing. He is the one I went for. He also wasn't shy about letting me know that he was interested in me, too.

Another interesting observation I've made is that people use PUA tactics without realizing that they do. I think what the majority of us are trying to achieve isn't much different from what we would develop naturally if we didn't have our own hang ups. Bouncer does push-pull without knowing that he is doing it. He also tries to DHV and he tries to Alpha over me. It's a little different when it's two members of the opposite sex going for the same role. I'm naturally Alpha, though I tried to suppress it for a few years. Alpha draws attention and I didn't want any. Now I'm having a little bit of a hard time maintaining it because he is a strong one and mine isn't fully in tact yet. As it stands, I'm still in the lead. I just hope I can keep it up!

Wow, sounds like you're doing great! Wonderful that you are working to move
past your nervousness and are out there meeting new people.

I know exactly what you mean about the clothing. You can't smile and be playful
for very long if something is digging into your skin lol.

So you're an Alpha attracted to Alpha men? My younger sister just
realized that she's Alpha, but needs a very strong Alpha male to take control. I
think it can work.

I am maintaining a positive outlook and that makes it easier to get over my own obstacles.

I don't normally wear things that are that uncomfortable, but I really like this one. It seemed worth it at the time!

I am a natural Alpha that grew up surrounded by other natural Alphas. My whole family has it. My dad was the strongest and I was probably second. He is my best friend, so I have learned a lot from him on why I like things the way that I like them. He has had more years to understand his nature and I see no point in letting that knowledge go to waste.

It can absolutely work for your sister! I have the same situation with my LTR, though he has had to become a stronger Alpha than me. Tell your sister that she should probably tone it down initially because it can make it harder to find the right guy. Alpha is intimidating!

Thanks so much and I will definitely pass along your advice

hey pagan, i know your post is almost a year old but i was wondering if you could help me out with something --

from your post describing the sarge it looks like, outside of the encounter outside his car, you didn't spend too many minutes at a time with a guy, would that be correct? i love it, because it looks like you kept him on his toes the whole night! How do you know when to walk away?

xo

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(yup, i'm a woman.)