Can't orgasm during sex



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 Post subject: Can't orgasm during sex
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:46 am 
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I've been wanking off my dick using a 'death grip' for many years. I was virgin until my 20's, before i was used to masturbate nearly every day, almost all the time on porn.

Recently i've becoming very active sexually with a new partner. From all the times we had sex, i was only 1 time able to cum inside her.

We use the condom all the time.

Realizing my problem (the insensitivity of my dick), i've stopped masturbating completely. I did not wanked off for 2 full weeks. Yet, when i finally had sex, i couldn't climax. I was bloody horny, and 2 times i was really close, but it just didn't happened.

On the one hand, i feel that there is progress since before i almost never had the urge to finish. Now at least i arrive (sometimes) at that point. On the other hand, i didn't masturbate for 2 weeks, and still i didn't finish. It makes me worry a lot.

My GF just left the house, we had sex this night, but didn't finish. Just masturbated, cause after 2 weeks i really had to finish myself off finally again.


Any advice?

thanks a lot


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 10:04 am 
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why worry... the only bad that can come from this is that the girl thinks she's not enough... other than that it can not be a bad thing nomather how you look at it :D but really its alot about psycology or however its spelled..


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:04 pm 
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It's not really a healthy thing in a LTR on the long term.

I told my GF about it and she is understanding

yet i had blue balls for 2 weeks, and it didn't even payed off


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:19 pm 
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I get like that but only when I drink :\
take alchol out of your diet ?
The biggest sex organ is the brain , its as much psychological as stimulant , you might want to take that idea on board , if it helps


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 4:33 pm 
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it could be a guilt thing. i used to cum when i first got with my g/f and she thought it was selfish and since then i didn't cum as much and it got boring.

Just have to practice relaxing and getting used to cumming with her again. focus more on you than her. or take turns

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:52 pm 
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this is totally mental.

you need to stay off the porn.

if you aren't cumming, then you aren't enjoying it...

what are you thinking about when you are having sex?

a bunch of brazillian lesbian midgets whipping you with chains?

if so, the porn has fried your brain.

you need to get excited about NORMAL sex (even "lovemaking") with your woman.

it's going to take time.

this is an emotional issue with you.

guaranteed.

do some digging inside your mind, the answers are there.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:22 am 
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Quote:
this is totally mental.

you need to stay off the porn.

if you aren't cumming, then you aren't enjoying it...

what are you thinking about when you are having sex?

a bunch of brazillian lesbian midgets whipping you with chains?

if so, the porn has fried your brain.

you need to get excited about NORMAL sex (even "lovemaking") with your woman.

it's going to take time.

this is an emotional issue with you.

guaranteed.

do some digging inside your mind, the answers are there.
yep, seems to be the reason

adding that i've always masturbated using a death grip


+ the focus to cum

3 reasons, each of them connected; i'm now trying to stay off porn completely. i also try to masturbate only once in 3/4 days. And to masturbate using a gentle touch.

When i'm having sex, i do enjoy it, but it seems that i'm too focused on reaching the climax. when i'm getting close, i try to think about hot porn stuff, instead of just enjoying my girl.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:57 am 
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here is your problem...

focus on these words! don't dismiss them! ponder them deeply!

you aren't excited by your girlfriend!

you need to be excited by her, and you won't have to THINK about cumming at all.

adore her body while you are banging her.

nice thighs, tight pussy, a face worth dying for...

you've got anxiety going on, and it's preventing you from being AROUSED by your own woman.

also, if all she does is lay there and let you pound her, that can be intensely boring.

is she doing anything to get you there?

not trying to ask too many details, my man, lol.

but i've been there.

i dated an hb9.5 (model/dancer) and fucked her a bunch of times.

she said i was the best she ever had, she was always begging for sex, she would do anything for me. kinky, freaky shit.

i never came. i fucked her dozens of times, all night long.

my problem was mental. i was hung up on an ex.

this chick was a goddess. like insta-bust.

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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:59 am 
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Been there...

Working through it.. I still have my slip up's too.. I now look at it if i'm drinking I have no chance..

If not i tend to only get off if the chick is into it as well.. 1 sided sex is not sustainable.. (If thats what you want)..

She loving it too OP? work more on the foreplay?

try jerkin the chain just long enough.. then stop before you bust and finish in her.. almost like a transfer thing. - I read this can help..


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:08 am 
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Well you can't really feel things with a condom on, lol jk

+1 to mack. all mental stuffz


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:34 pm 
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If she's your GF, she should get on the pill and then you don't need the rubber. Add dirty talk, lubricants, maybe watch porn together while you fuck her... make it more exciting for you.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 4:07 pm 
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she is indeed my GF. She isn't complaining at all about the sex. She dies for my dick, and goes completely crazy. Obviously also since i bang her 1 hour or more.

Yet, she doesn't talk during the fucking. Some dirty talk would surely help for me. She could be somewhat more active in bed. It's not that she's completely silent too, not at all.

I know the roots of my problem and i'll try to work on it. I told my GF also why i don't finish, and she understands.


However, if i jack off in the presence of her, i still can't cum. Tried it once. It seems to be an intimicy problem as well.

My mind is completely programmed on PORN, MASTURBATING and CUMMING ALONE. I need to change this.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:20 pm 
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Quote:
she is indeed my GF. She isn't complaining at all about the sex. She dies for my dick, and goes completely crazy. Obviously also since i bang her 1 hour or more.

Yet, she doesn't talk during the fucking. Some dirty talk would surely help for me. She could be somewhat more active in bed. It's not that she's completely silent too, not at all.

I know the roots of my problem and i'll try to work on it. I told my GF also why i don't finish, and she understands.


However, if i jack off in the presence of her, i still can't cum. Tried it once. It seems to be an intimicy problem as well.

My mind is completely programmed on PORN, MASTURBATING and CUMMING ALONE. I need to change this.
you are gonna do alright.

you've realized what is going on.

porn is great!

EXCEPT it isn't real life...well...for most of us, lol.

not to say that sex can't be exciting,

but come on, most of the porn available nowadays is soooooo goddamn kinky,

it will program your mind.

you ever find yourself holding back to doing really kinky shit to your gf?

i know i'm guilty of that! afraid what she will say or whatever.

fuckit, i say just do it! lol...

make your own private porn with her!!!!! :D :D :D

also, you can't discredit her role in what is going on.

if she isn't making sex exciting or arousing for you...

that's on her, not you!

when i was younger, i could cum from just damn near touching a girl, i didn't really need to know that she was INTO IT.

now, that i'm older, that has changed. i need for a girl to let loose, and get wild with me in the bedroom, i need to know she is letting me take her to new heights, and that it is her desire to do the same for me.

many, MANY women really don't give a fuck about the man's satisfaction, most of them think they are the only ones with sexual sophistication, that all a man needs is a vagina and 100 pumps and he will get off.

shows how much most of them know. that may be true for the 18 year olds and stuff, but once you get older, you need a woman to PERFORM as well.

does your old lady PERFORM for you?

be truthful, with yourself.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:06 am 
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This will sound odd, but for a few days before sex, have a very crappy diet. Skip meals, eat candy, drink pop, etc.. Try to do what you can to lower your serotonin levels. There is a direct correlation between serotonin and ejaculation. The higher your serotonin, the longer it'll take to cum. If it's even too high you won't be able to. On the other hand, if it's lower, the faster you'll cum.

That's why some doctors will prescribe antidepressants, more specifically SSRI's (selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitor) for guys with premature ejaculation.


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