| I'm looking for a little advice on how to go about getting or being someone's wingman, if I even should. It may help to kind of explain my personal situation.
I'm currently going on now 5 months without having dated anyone. I feel I'm in a big slump I'm having a hard time getting out of (I was in LTRs all throughout my 20s, including a 7 year one... yup... try to hold your shock fellas), and honestly, I've always had AA. The problem with it all is that when love is handed to you early on in life (as was with me when I started college and for a while I was thrown into several women one right after the next) you get into a mindset, a mindset that I'm now aware of that becomes detrimental when you hit your early 30's and those college days are long since over. Add to it that many women at my age at this point in life have been through at least one marriage, and I haven't (this isn't a deterring factor for me but it has been for a few of them). Not only that, my old frat brothers from college are either married with kids (and tell me on the sly how unhappy their life is sometimes), or in committed relationships, or... this is the worst... have AA themselves about even going out. I've got a couple of really close friends like that who don't like to go out like I do, and it's pretty nerve-wracking.
Just to put this in perspective, I told one of my best friends today hey we're both single let's go barhopping and meet some women. He came back with about a million crappy excuses as to why he shouldn't. He gets anxious in bars. He doesn't get along with most people (he's a PhD student btw). He'd rather meet women through friends of friends. Personally, I see nothing but benefits in better understanding women and overcoming my AA, we just don't see eye to eye here.
So suffice it to say, my existing network is kind of tapped I'm sad to say. It's kind of tough for me to go at it solo honestly, especially when it comes to bars. I'm more a one on one person but I know I have to put that stuff on hold big time when being in front of others because it puts people off (I'm the kind of guy you'd probably see at a party talking about philosophy while high LOL). I feel that having a wingman, or being someone's wingman who is pretty successful at this stuff could really help get me back in the swing, possibly, but to put it plainly I'm just not as good as I'd like to think I am at networking yet, it's like a nasty catch 22 in it all.
Yet I have zero trouble with job interviews, wtf. Anyways..
Now, on the plus side, I've got a mall across the street that I can, and last summer did, use as a testing ground to help get over my AA to a degree but it wasn't exactly the end-all-be-all solution, but honestly I didn't put forth the effort I could have b/c I was doing a lot of online dating at the time.
So, here's the big question for you pros out there. Do you think it's worth my time trying to find new people who will actually go out and do the whole wingman thing with me (and if yes then how?), or do you think it's better to go solo? I'd have to think instinctively that if you're in a bar sitting all by yourself that's not going to look good to any woman. Also, and I know some of you are big day gamers, do you think it's better to just stick to the mall for now instead of going out to bars/clubs altogether? I've put some thought too into doing things like volunteering, but have a hard time finding local events like pet-adoption drives and such I could volunteer at.
(Just to settle the level here, I think you guys can tell from my having been in a 7yr LTR I'm not the player type, but I've grown an appreciation for those who have good inner and outer game and wish to aspire to those heights in time I think it's really the missing piece of key knowledge and confidence in my life.)
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CHAT