I'm AFC Andre, far from the person I want to be, and in college. It's supposed to be the best time of my life... but it's not. I'm not very social, flirty, confident, or Alpha-ey in college. I moved from out-of-state and have few friends. To sum it up, I hate my situation.

"I want to change."

I've thought that so many times, yet it rarely translates into action. I hype myself up for a day, or a couple of days, and I manage to go push myself and try to do it. I guess that's why I've managed to get up to the Stylelife Challenge Day 4, and approach a few people, but I haven't made much progress. Meaning, I fall right back to square one afterwards. And, that was all I could do, in a time span of around 2-3 years.

Most of it, I spent thinking how my life would be. If I could do this or that, I would be much happier with myself. I would accept myself more.
I think that my intentions are misplaced. I also think that's an excuse not to challenge myself.

Recently, I had the chance to be with a girl that I liked ALOT. But, as an AFC, I messed up my chances. Basically, it was because I was too much of a pussy and too afraid.

I really regret it.

But that's also what is pushing me to commit to this challenge. And... why I decided to start this journal.
I want to commit to pushing myself instead of sitting around everyday regretting my life or dreaming of how my life could be.

you gotta have the courage to do it
remember courage leads to confidence

I love this. I want to commit, too. I want to post here every day.

This is awesome, and I really relate with this commitment (thought I've done enough seminars to deal with the inner game for the most part). I need to whip my competence into shape as many have done before us, and I feel that you can, too.

Keep it real, brotha.

Surreptitious

Day 1:
I've been in a rut lately. And I know that in order for me to get anywhere, I'm going to need momentum.
So first, I need to get out of the house. I'm reading up on 60 YOC's opening article and I'm trying to change my mindset on opening women.

My Goals:
Approaching Women
Relabeling fear as excitement

My Plan:
Map out some places I would want to go and just walk.
Try to approach early, whether it fails or not. (The only thing matters is that I approached.)
Relax.
Approach women indirectly.
Approach women indirectly and switch to being direct.

What happened:

- I drove to downtown and as soon as I found a parking I talked to the first person I saw. It ended up being a guy, and I asked him if there were any men's clothing stores around here. He said there's not really any good clothing stores around here. I was too scared to continue the conversation.
- At a stoplight, I talked to a HB4 about anything clothing stores. She was trying to keep the conversation but I kept try to eject. I must have been scared of the awkwardness.
- Talked to a guy in Starbucks. He was a martial artist about to do a Taekwondo show. Said I should come.
- Was walking down the street and I saw a HB6. Used three-second rule to ask her about any stores around here. Conversation wasn't going anywhere.
- I went to the library, and small-talked to some people in the elevator of the library. Talked to the old dude about how he doesn't go to the library much.
- Asked a couple in the elevator what language they were speaking. Awkward...
- Asked a guy on the street for directions.

I went to the mall afterwards. Told myself I would approach the first person and ask about a clothing store, but then thought to myself
that the question was stupid. I ended up walking around the mall for 2 hours not doing shit.

Most people are friendly to talk to. I've gotten mostly positive reactions from approaching people. I also need to stop ejecting so early
because of fear of awkwardness. Overall, positive experience, except for some guys mugging me in the mall.

@Surreptitious & Verbal Seduction
Thanks for the encouragement guys

Day 2:
After yesterday, I was left feeling pretty shitty. I was visiting Virginia so today's field would have to be in the Airports, and airplane travels.

Goals:
Get into the social mood
Approach and maintain conversation with women (don't always try to establish comfort, thereby reducing any tension)

Bad Mood.
I don't know if it was lack of sleep today, or because I was going too hard on myself from yesterday, but I was feeling pretty bad. I figured, I need to get in the mood to talk to people.

- Talked to the airplane ticketer where she asked me how old I was. I responded with "19" and "how old did you think I was?". She responded 16. Great.
- Wanted to approach HB6 sitting down in lobby. Hesitated.
- Approached weren't going so well. In the line to grab something to eat. Caught the glance of a HB6 and smiled, she smiled back. But again, I hesitated.
- Stopped looking for people to approach for a while
- First boarded the plane, asked the waitress HB5 for a water. She responded sort of rudely that she was setting up. She came by later in a happier mood and gave me my water
- On the airplane I was sitting to a HB6( i keep naming them HB6's ) and she looked intimidating and thought "she probably does not want to talk". 2 hours elapsed and when she needed to go to the restroom she smiled to me when I got up for her. When she got back I asked her what the image on her laptop cover was. Talked about how she was viola player, and I was a violin player. Gained some rapport. Maintained eye contact and smile. She was much older, so I didn't try for a #close, or that could be an excuse.

In summary.
I had bad momentum, and was too fearful of the approach.
Started a conversation with a girl sitting in my row after she smiled at me.
I keep making excuses not to talk to them. Most of the approaches I did were positive. I need to keep a good momentum. I need to be aware of false negative thoughts.

Challenges to Overcome
- learning how to keep a positive mindset
- Approaching women in the mall

FCKING MAN UP. YOUR NEVER GOING TO SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN

Day 3: Finally getting out there, but questioning my motive.

I went through a stage of negativity between yesterday and this morning. In the end, I decided to use all the energy I had to just focus on getting out there.

Goals:
Approach 5 women in the mall
Do Stylelife Challenge Day 4
Using direct method rather than indirect

Plan:
Go to the grocery store as warm-up
Go the mall to approach

Day game: (I'll keep it brief)
- Approached the first guy I saw. He looked like an old unfriendly guy, but after asking him where the mall was, he was actually pretty friendly.
- I was at Giant and saw 2 HB6's, and although they weren't that attractive, they seemed pretty intimidating. I didn't manage to approach them.
- I talked to an HB6 in a different isle, and asked here where I could get envelops and stamps. I had pretty good body language I think.
- Talked to the cashier, pretty cute HB6, consisted of only small-talk.
- Left Giant, and went to CVS. Talked to an HB4. Then talked to a guy about where the post office was.

Warm-up was over. Now I needed to head to the mall. I was pretty afraid of not approaching anyone, so I made it clear that I would approach the FIRST person I saw.

- I left the car, and talked to this couple with their kid in the parking lot. I was addressing the guy on what his favorite men's clothing store was. Whatever, at least I got my first approach out the way.
- Used three second rule on this HB6 as soon as I entered the mall. Went completely AFC indirect and asked, "Can I ask you a question."
- I went up an escalator and talked to an HB6 that had completely closed-off body language. She opened up though and I think I carried the conversation pretty well.
- Talked to an HB6 about where the express was.
- HB8. I found her pretty cute. She was about to pass me, and I locked my position while saying hey. I asked her what her favorite men's clothing store was.
- HB6, who got really close to me. I got nervous and kind of stuttered.
- I saw HB8 who was a worker. I planned to approach her indirectly and then switch it up to directly. I hesitated too long and didn't approach her, yet.
- HB6 in a make-up store. "Do you recommend buying make-up as a gift?"
- Complimented a girl on her style in H&M. don't even remember how she looked like. So i'll just say HB6.
- I wanted to approach that HB8 I saw from earlier that I didn't approach. I almost got stuck in the negative mind-pattern but the three second rule saved me. I approached her, and it turns out she was a fricken HB9. Holy shit. I asked her for favorite men's clothing store was. I didn't manage to go direct, but I felt that she was interested and I managed to lock down on eye contact.

I keep naming all girls HB6's.... I think my scale for rating women is like bell-curve.

All the conversations I had were probably under 2 minutes. I have a problem with actually making conversation, so I'll try to make that my goal for tomorrow.
That, and trying to switch to a direct approach.

...

I'm losing focus, and I don't even know my goal is anymore. It's really hard to see the other side of this, and I don't really see how I can get pass this.

Any tips you guys have would be awesome