Great post man

Fantastic post, Guesss. Extremely helpful.

I wanted to get your thoughts on a particular texting scenario.

I have a birthday bash in the city next week that I've organized through Facebook. Everyone has confirmed that they will be there but one of my targets recently deactivated her FB account, after confirming she'd attend the event. I was going to send a FB message out to everybody to remind them about pre-drinks and to let the girls know they'll need to bring socks as it's a bowling party.

Anyways, seeing as this girl has deactivated her FB, would it be appropriate to text her with these details and if so, what would be the best approach? Should I poke fun at her for fashionably deleting her FB or just keep it very simple, eg. "hey! don't forget to wear socks on saturday! =P" ?

Any advice would be very much appreciated!

Hey guesss, thanks for the post!

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Happy Birthday in advance.
It's a matter of your choice & style and dependant on how well you know your target. Texting would be fine, but I think it would be better to phone her. There's pros and cons to both, but i just hope this chick isn't bringing out a one-itis streak in you.

Whichever way you choose won't matter too much, the tone in which you tell her will; this is why i recommend a phone call. I feel you should remind her in a casual way, just as a reminder phone call and you can mention that you noticed her fb was deactivated but not in an inquisitive manner. You don't want to come across as desperately wanting her to come but you want her to feel that her presence there would be appreciated and that it WILL be a fun time out. You could even just make a quick call and hang up soon after the message has been given.

Hey, i'm kinda busy, just reminding you to bring socks cos we gonna go bowling after predrinks. Pretty keen for an awesome night out.

maybe you want to add : "dont forget my present "

if you're texting: assume she is coming.
Three things. 1-Socks for bowling. 2-Awesome present.

I know its only two things and I mentioned three but thats fine and might get a response out of her. If she doesnt attend or cant make it, she's not worth it or genuinely cant make it. Again dude, it really depends on your style and the relationship with the target so if the advice doesn't suit the occasion, dont follow it.

good luck

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Thanks for the well wishes and advice.

We used to be close friends but have been quite distant for some time now. I am 99 per cent sure she will be there so a text would seem most appropriate.

I'm in my early twenties so it's not the sort of party where anyone is expected to bring me a present. Is it still okay to playfully suggest she bring me something awesome? I don't want to seem too invested in getting a response from her so I don't think I'll go with the three things line.

Would: "Hey few things for [day]... 1-socks for bowling. 2-awesome present. See u then. " be appropriate?

yeah, that seems fine. present joke is also fine, if she does rock up to the party with one then its even better and you can tease about it throughout the evening.
good luck dude

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Great. One final question...

How important is punctuation choice when texting? For example... Is there an inherent difference between:

"Hey few things for [day]... 1-socks for bowling. 2-awesome present! See u then. "

and:

"Hey few things for [day]... 1-socks for bowling. 2-awesome present. See u then. "

And if so, what's the better option?

Traditionally, I'd go with an exclamation point simply because I think they're more fun and less formal but I'd love to get your thoughts as I'm only new at this.

It really doesnt matter, different people type differently.. i usually have a lot of ellipsis at the end of my sentences when I'm IM'ing... it really doesnt make a difference, dont over think it, if you are, then you may have one-itis aka one-gina

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It's better to risk everything for something than to hold onto nothing

It was more of a general question about the importance of punctuation using the scenario we were discussing as an example. Good to know that stuff doesn't particularly matter.

Thanks for the advice.

ok so basically i was at a party on saturday and was talken to this hb i then added her on facebook and got her number and we started texting. About 2 texts in i got straight to the point.

me:what cinema should i go see XXXX in cause XXXX is a rubbish cinema
HB:XXXX or XXXX are good cinemas:)
me:hmmm... you could come aong if you promise to behave
HB: sorry but i cant make that promise
me: ha looks like you cant come along then
HB: :O aww man. lol whats up?

a few texts after that i didnt reply cause i wanted to have the power. I think i fucked it up when i said looks like you cant come along then because i thought it was a shit test when she said she cudnt make that promise so i responded by not breaking my rule and showing i didnt need her to come with me. Should i text her again and if so how long should i wait and how should i get round to asking her on a date again?

A team that was too fast....

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Just text her pretty soon before you're going out and say you're going to ****** and she's welcome to join you. maybe you can add, "only if she wears a really short skirt" or "only if she can maintain a smile for 90% of the evening" (some sort of friendly chaallenge so she has to work for it.

you didnt fuck up, and if she misunderstood you, its because your msg came across with the wrong tone, this is why i prefer phone calls unless you IM'ing each other in a chat.

btw you dont have to take her to the movies, any other place would be cool. I actually recommend you dont go to the movies, cos, well its too much admin to explain, i just don't recommend it. you'll figure out why. Rather be slightly different and do something that's properly fun where you two can interact a bit more, i dont know whats available in your area. eg close to a beach. tell her you gonna build a mega huge ass sandcastle and your giving her the opportunity to come along. be creative and different

waiting period. see the first post. i hate rules, so try not to live by any, just use it as guidelines.

just btw guys, this is not the correct place to put your problems. if you have any problems you should create a thread and people will reply, if you're gonna post here then rather phrase your problem in a general manner so that it can apply to other people (then u can add a link to the thread with the exact problem so people could have some perspective when helping)

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