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PostPosted: Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:35 pm 
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Hi I posted a similar topic a few weeks ago. It never got resolved.

I am a 23 year old student from the North East of UK. Good looking, wear fashionable clothing (I check weekly) and I'm at the Gym nearly every day.

However the main issue is that I am deaf. ( I can hear a bit)

and no it can't be fixed and it is permanent.

However I speak well but my accent can be hard at times to follow ( I can't change it, had years of voice therapy and it is as good as it can get).

I've been single for 5 years (not out of choice) and I have had not much luck since then.

I have studied the Game and Natural Art of Seduction over and over again for the past year. I have applied it to the field and I am failing miserably.

Women whom I encounter seem to have an issue with me being deaf, it seems to terrify them.

I go out 3 times a week with my mates. I enter a bar or a club with confidence, approach women but they can't seem to understand what I'm saying (even when I'm shouting). They often ask where I am from due to my lack of accent (don't have an accent because I can't hear!), when I explain I'm deaf, I see the fear in their eyes and they walk away.

The very minority who speak to me, puts me in the friend zone straight away.

As soon as they find out I'm deaf, it takes away all possible attraction they have/had for me and I'm abruptly put in the friend zone. As a result, I have tons of female friends who see me as a "gay best friend".

I've been told..."find deaf chicks"...but the thing is...where I'm from...there isn't any.

I've tried sarging on Facebook, POF e.t.c...when we meet, I have to mention my hearing. I never see them again after that.

It's getting me really down and I'm losing my confidence each time.
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:25 am 
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Does anyone have any advice? :/

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:55 am 
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You may want to try lying some time, even though it's wrong. Not because it's something that lasts, she will find out anyway, but just to make sure that you're right about the fact that deafness repels them. Tell the girl that you're a little deaf because you got a cold or something (which might also turn them off, but I'm sure you can think of something better), or tell her she's speaking too softly, or both depending on how severe your hearing problem is. If this changes results, you know that the hearing thing is indeed your problem. If it doesn't, you have to find the cause of your misfortune somewhere else. In case this works, you will have to tell the truth about your ears at some point, but she will probably have discovered you're a cool guy who is not held back in life by a slight disability.


Last edited by Julius Y on Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:07 am 
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I'm completely no expert on this but:

a) are you truly seeing fear in their eyes? If they find deafness repulsive then they are fucking bitches who you dont wanna associate with.
b) It'd be easy for me to say maintain a strong frame, but I literally have no concept on what it is like to be deaf - could be that they sense your body langauge and vibe sagging as you find sets are sagging.

Do the venues you go have any bits of paper lying around? you could try some verbal approach but if its going south, take charge and get a little written message exchange going - if anything it's out of the ordinary - I'd wager many girls dont get approached in this manner.
Shit, go the whole hog and get yourself a leather bound 'Mack'Book and pen - once they see the wealth of previous interactions you've had with other HBs (as you've causually flicked to the next free page :-)) this will only serve as a DHV and add social proof.

Work into your routines that your other senses are heightened. Try being super observant (you see the cute mole on her face/neck/hand/finger) or that your sense of touch is superhuman...

Do you use sign language in any way? Then you've got an opening into some light kino (show her some, take her hands and teach her how to sign things - if there's any signs that can be mistaken for things of a sexual nature, run with it in a playful and sexy way - ie: if you do THIS (show) it means brother, if you do THIS (make the slight change) it means lapdance/blowjob/striptease - FUCK IT make it up! chances are most wont know ahahhahaha)and ESCALATE from there.

Verbal Comms is 7% of all communication - you dress sharp, in good shape, are confident and congruent with it, rather than having to shout to try and make yourself understood - which deafness or not is a DLV, explore the other 93% of non-verbal communication!
Most of the better PUAs in here will extol the absolute importance of kino to the process of pick up - it's the most important for me to be honest. If a woman gets used to your touch (light to begin with and escalate) then it's gravy.

Hope this has been in anyway useful sir.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 11:18 am 
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If you can hear a bit, i see no reason why you cant buy a hearing aid to amplify what you can hear.

Also i suggest you take lip reading classes.

Understanding what someone says is very important since women like to talk. As for ypur accent, keep practicing them. Im pretty sure getting a hearing aid will increase your capability to hear yourslef which will in turn help you talk better.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:55 pm 
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I already have a hearing-aid, and I lip-read with 100% accurancy.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:59 pm 
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I already have a hearing-aid, and I lip-read with 100% accurancy but that's hard as they tend to shout in ear as people do in bars/nightclubs. If I tell them that they don't need to shout in my ear so I can lip-read...they look perturbed and walk off.

It's just the actual opening. Every-time I open, they struggle to understand me or as soon as they see my hearing aid. They look incredibly nervous and walk off. I've had quite a few girls laugh at it.

You won't believe the amount of times I've been rejected because of it. I dress good, I'm pretty confident, but this hearing aid and my hearing loss is dragging me down.

It's every time I talk to them or dance with them, they always stare at the hearing aid or ask if I'm deaf. I say yes, then they walk away.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:08 pm 
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dood, attraction is non verbal.

there was this story of some guy whose face is like super deformed, but hes just so confident and doesnt give a shit, and followed his path and goals in life, and he scored this super hot blondie. wish i could link you the story but i dont know where to find it.

my suggestion is to stop looking for women in the places you are looking for them.
fuck bars, clubs, and all that shit. those places are often the most socially charged places, which means, yes, if you have a disability or something of the sort, your chances just drop tenfold, because theres lots of selection and its known as a place where people tend to show off.

follow your goals, passions in life, and the women will follow you.

if your desperate, get a prostitute or fly to amsterdam.

but why do you want a girlfriend that badly anwyays? even if you werent deaf, women can sense desperation, and its a turn off. just because your good looking, it doesnt mean shit. same as just cuz your deaf, doesnt mean shit.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:35 pm 
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If you've been single and not got laid for 5 years. Youre bound to be desperate. I don't act desperate...i just would like to be able to pull/attract women with out them being put off by my hearing loss! I've just graduated from uni and had no luck as im the only deaf guy out of thousands at my uni.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 6:38 pm 
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And the fact all my hearing mates are either taken or screwing women makes me feel the odd one out. It's a pretty lonely world.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:18 pm 
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What you need to do is SCREEN women more. If they shout in your ear, don't ask them not to, and don't explain that you need to lip read. Tell them you can hear them just fine from over there, where you can see their lips. If they fail to do that, be the one to pull the plug.

One of the worst things about a disability is that it evokes all the patterns that make you look pitiable. You don't need people's pity and people don't need to understand your situation. You're better than that. In the ear isn't where you like it; that's all they need to know unless they ask why with genuine curiosity.

Now, you've got the unusual advantage of being able to "hear" people in loud clubs! And you don't really need to talk, either. However, if you want quality women, you'll have to go outside of easy mode, and one of the first things that'll have to go is the MM model. Your best friend here is a genuine curiosity about people and a disdain for using trickery.

Edit: I'm adding this as a disclaimer to say that I don't know shit about how to seduce with an impaired sense of hearing, and that I don't really know what you're like, so take everything with a grain of salt. Bon chance!

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:21 pm 
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Hi thanks for your reply.

Could you please explain by what you mean "And you don't really need to talk, either. However, if you want quality women, you'll have to go outside of easy mode, and one of the first things that'll have to go is the MM model. Your best friend here is a genuine curiosity about people and a disdain for using trickery."

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:54 pm 
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Sure. When I used to go to clubs, a realization smacked me across the face: the more you talk, the less you dance. It's all body language there. This is both good and bad. It doesn't prepare you for the real world, but it's fun while it lasts. Think of it as childhood in pick up ;)

If you want to be able to build rapport with a stranger who is sober, you're going to have to show a genuine curiosity in that person. This should be easy; just extend that genuine curiosity about what's in her pants to the rest of her :lol:
Genuine curiosity works because it's honest, flattering, and you're just curious, not sold on anything. Besides, girls love talking about themselves. My policy is to NEVER DHV by talking about myself. I talk to the woman about herself until she ASKS me about myself. Then, anything I say just shows that I got her interested enough that she asked to hear it.

This is getting pretty long without covering much; here's what's most important. I call these the lost pillars of seduction because, since MM became overwhelmingly popular, most people stopped thinking about them:

• Bypass social conditioning. You don't want a girl thinking within her socially condition limitations. You want her to feel liberated from it and indulge in the things it forbids. With you :D
Judging women is using their social conditioning against them; I avoid this tactic because letting her social conditioning activate at all, in any way, is contrary to my interests.
• Be an escape from reality. You want her to see you as the doorway to her fantasies becoming reality, and an escape from the things she doesn't like in life. If you lie to her, it drops her right back on the pavement of reality.

I don't remember the rest. They come up when they're relevant. I'll bet anything that this just created more questions in your mind, so ask away.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:20 pm 
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What's MM sorry?

and " the more you talk, the less you dance. "

Do I have to dance more and talk less?

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:36 pm 
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I think what you want is for someone to be with you wihtout lying to them about your condition. Not because you dont want to lie but the fact that you know theyll pick up on it eventually.

Just like normal indirect game you dont reveal your cards to the woman until you have attracted her, formed a connection with her, and all that shit. I truly believe your best bet is hiding it as best as you can at first (hiding hearing aid, talking like normal), but when you think she is having fun abd starting to like you that is when you say this line "look im sorry about this but there is something i need to tell you." bring her to a romantic quiet spot where you are both alone. Compliment her on a deep level, then tell her your situation, and how her characteristics made you truly believe that someone with your condition could achieve such connection keep saying romantic shit until you think she is in that mushy state then k-close her before she could put you in the friend zone. I never tried this before just so you know since i dont have a disability. z

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