Dated this girl about a year ago, we has sex on the first date. She got quite funny about the fact that she had sex on the first date and never showed for a few other arrangements we had made. I tried to persue it but got too much resistance so i just ignored her, eventually i was getting messages about meeting up, i just ignored them, i also blocked her from chat in FB because she would message me every day and want to talk all night but never seemed to be able to get it together to meet in person.

Last time i seen her, i only seen her briefly and she said to me that she thinks i dont like her, i know its a mind game i am playing but it seems to work, and i dont like to make mind games, but being nice and trying seems to not work! She asked me would i go on holiday with her but then when i spoke about it later she said she couldnt commit to the idea.

So she messaged me on facebook a few weeks back and said about meeting up, i just said yeah but im not available for a week and to message me on the monday and she agreed, she just text me today (a week late) I am tempted to just keep ignoring her advances until she shows me some sign of a deffinate want, because any time i agree to her she seems to freak out and change her mind.

on the other hand if i ignore her too much she will prob get bored and give up,

any ideas on what way to go with this?

You know I knew a girl JUST like this. When we would message back and forth frequently she would always dodge, deflect and deny. When I would break away she would break down and complain that I didn't like her anymore.

It's this bizarre need for approval and consistent attention which, once had, is taken for granted. Finally I decided enough was enough and pulled out completely. Shut her out. Eventually I was offered a new job in a new city, so after saying my goodbyes to the important people in my life (i.e. ones who make an effort to see me and commit to their promises) I packed up and left.

These kinds of girls are dangerous. Melodramatic and needy. They want you to dote on them but don't actually want to be in a relationship with you. And more often than not, you get stuck in text-overtime, like I did. And like you are.

CALL THE BITCH. Don't keep texting her and messaging etc. etc. etc. If it's awkward to talk in person or on the phone, then ALL the more reason to do it. People will say anything they want in a text or fb message, because it's safer than saying it directly. That indirectness, that lack of face-to-face interaction, is a false sense of security.

And if after being direct and trying to establish some real lines of communication she still pulls this kind of shit, then my advice is to just drop the bitch and move on. You already slept with her, and she is clearly not LTR material, what more is there to get out of her?

Do NOT get stuck in texting overtime. It will be the end of you.

Q.

yeah i called her last night, decided to break the text thing and get her on voice.

I apologised for taking so long to get back to her and explained that i had been busy but i remembered her massage and would love to meet up, so we are meeting after work today....dont think she will flake this time, she has seen the way i react when she does.

ok update, we met yesterday after work, she text me earlier and suggested we go for a drive in her car, i replied saying thats a great idea and took the lead by saying that we should go up the mountain and watch the sun set, so we did.

we didnt talk about anything i mentioned above, we did talk about how it had been a year since we spent time together and how we have both matured since, she seems more level and together.

She drove me home and said she had to give her brother a ride to close to where i live and would be back a bit later, i got a text later saying that her bro no longer needed the lift so she wont be down my way but thanked me for a great day, I didnt reply, instead i tagged her in a cute picture on facebook, thought a sentiment would speak louder than words.

So now i'm still wondering on how to lead this, obviously before i was having to ignore her to get interest, should i continue this pattern? if i call her today she might start pulling away again, its a tough one!