Hi guys.

I haven't posted here in aaages, mostly because sometime 2 years ago I had found the girl, or so I thought, and thought everything would go smooth from there. Lately problems have arisen from our relationship and she uttered the words "I don't really love you anymore" and "I'm not happy". Total Bummer. For the past whole week I have been a wreck..anyone who has been in my situation will understand, anyone who hasn't, please don't troll.

For this to not be a wall of text I will try and summarise:
- We have been in a long distance relationship for a year (seeing each other once a month and in contact nearly everyday through phone and social facilities). I was working, she was in her last year of university;
- We had an amazing "honey-moon stage" to the point of us hinting at each other we would get married. We made future plans and that kinda stuff;
- During this long distance term she went through a few breakdowns and kept wanting to know what we would be doing next year in terms of plans. I kept avoiding the questions since, honestly, I had no idea;
- In summary, I think the long distance thing tore us apart bit by bit, and during her times of need I wasn't there to give physical rapport (where I think she might have got from her bestfriend -male );

She's coming over next week Tuesday and she's already hinted at break-up, but she'll be coming over for The talk. She's going to stay at my place, but if things go south, she has a friend who lives nearby where she will go I reckon.

I still want her very much. But if I can't I am willing to have her as a great friend.

I was wondering if anyone has any pointers on how to get her back (re-kindle her love for me) or how (if possible) to maintain a great friendship (possibly to the point of being a pivot).

Take care all, and thanks for reading.

bump.

I've been in pretty much the same situation as you, and I'm not going to tell you what I did at the time because I was too desperate to get her back and it only pushed her further away from me.

Now here's my opinion after having more relationships in the past and what i've learned from them.

I think there's one point in your story where you should really think about. You're saying your girl wants to know what you guys are doing next year in terms of plans, and you've been avoiding the question.

Have you given her any answer yet? If not, give it a really good thought. Grab a piece of paper and pen, and write down the things why you want to be with her. You must know this when you're going to have "The talk", since she will most likely ask you that question. Then think about your future, and make sure you come up with a good answer to the question that is so important to her. Think of every possible argument she can throw at you and make sure you can tackle them.

If you have a solid opinion and you are truly sure the two of you should be together, make sure you have written down your reasons and you know them. Always act mature towards her, and believe in yourself.

I hope things work out for you, and all the best whichever way it turns out.

This isn't what you want to hear, but here's what you need to hear...

Let her go, move on. Tell her to cancel her trip and cut her off. You can't argue or try to reason with a girl who tells you, "I don't really love you anymore". Listen to her, she's done. She's moving on and you should too. Don't even try to keep her as a friend, you're lying to yourself. The second she shows up with another dude or flirts with a guy in front of you, it'll drive you crazy. Don't put yourself through that.

Put this chick in the rear view mirror and find some women in your zip code, these LD things never work. Charge this one to the game.