I'm a recovering chode. I used to be a really needy, "nice" guy. I meant well - I just didn't know what I was doing. Now that I've made a lot of strides it REALLY bothers me that several girls from my past will never get to see the "new me" so to say. It just irks me that they'll always have that opinion of me even though that's not really who I am. Anyone else have these feelings?

I know exactly what you are talking about. I was in ltr where we were both very co-dependent and it was a go-nowhere relationship that was stale for a long time. After I started doing some inner-game stuff, reading Tony Robbins trying to improve myself, I realized that we were a disaster with no hope of recovery.

We cannot drive our cars down the freeway by staring into the rearview mirror. We need to keep our focus on what is in front of us through the windshield not on what is behind us. I have those girls in my past too. Sure I think of them from time to time and wonder, but the best is always yet to come. It's always around the next corner. *corny metaphor* But the best life we can live is not something we wait for, it's something that we work towards. And in most cases working toward being our best does not include turning around and picking up old baggage.

One of the best things a pua can do for himself/herself is to let go of the idea that the opinions of others drive our own emotions. If we become concerned with how others see us, we are likely to change our frame to suit their needs. That is beta, not alpha. I have had the opportunity to become friends this past year with a native american who is a natural amog and a real alpha jerk. I have been letting him demonstrate to me how to not let other peoples opinions shake our frame and always being solid with our intentions, holding our ideals and our frame, and not giving a f**k about what other people think of us.