I don't know if this problem is 100% related to pick up or if it's even just in my head but it's definitely stopping me from getting new girl friends. I've been living a lonely life at home and I think it's starting to affect my social skills. In many social settings with a lot of people I usually clam up, say nothing, and act cool. Some people say it's good that I'm quiet and humble because it makes me likable but I hate it. Sometimes I want to get into conversation but usually I don't have anything to add except maybe a corny joke every once in a while.

I was wondering what could I do to make myself better at making conversation when I want to? I've been telling myself lately the reason why I can't is because I'm always busy thinking. I'm probably in my head too often but I don't know how to get out. This affects my interactions with everyone including women because even if they are attracted to me I must get boring being a man of such few and uninteresting words. I hope there is someone out there who can relate and understands what this is like who can give me advice on how not to be this guy.

By the way, I understand there are nonverbal ways of communicating things and I'm not handicapped when it comes to that but it's hard to nonverbally communicate anything when the situation calls for some type of conversation. It's also easy to lose a girl to someone more animated if I bore her to death. I don't want to just be a headless penis transporting apparatus I want to be able to talk and connect with people but I find it hard to do especially cause I find it hard to trust and get close to people.

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Life sucks when ya get no buns

i totally relate.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!

same problem im guessing its just confidence though sometimes i can connect an chat for hours an be the funniest guy shes ever met sometimes i am always thinking what can i say next.
maybe the power of now iv heard alot of people reccomend that
i have the audiobook but iv not listend to it properly yer.
its a problem alot of people have but im sure theres a way to overcome it we just have to find it.

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My journal

viewtopic.php?p=475520#475520

i don't think the original poster is talking about confidence,

so much as he is talking about being a solitary and quiet person who doesn't trust easily.

i share those traits that he mentioned. i am, however, very confident.

but confidence doesn't necessarily translate into being conversational.

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what dr. house brings to medicine, i bring to everyday life (an extreme dose of cynicism), don't listen to the curmudgeon!