So I've contacted my ex several weeks after our breakup. I had dumped her. She told me shes very surprised that I called her. We're going for out as friends for coffee next week. However she ask me to make sure that we're just gonna meet as friends and that we are going to remain as friends and nothing more. I agreed of course.

This sucks I want to date her again. Does this mean that I'm stuck in the friend zone? And if so how do I get out?

Anybody?

You dumped her and now you want to date her?

Huh?

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Don't hate, just dominate.

Ye cause she wanted to experiment a bit. But now I want to try again.

ok so i think you need to really and i do mean REALLY look back on your relationship and critique your performance in the relationship (emotionally), think about what you did well and what you fucked up on because you weren't perfect, trust me weren't.

you need to display to her all the characteristics that make you a frickin' awesome guy, because you ARE a frickin' awesome guy.
So just a quick list

Do:
-Be Fun
-Be Cheerful
-Have an idea of what you want to do when you meet up (''hey lets go ___, it'll be fun'' but avoid things that wont allow you to talk like movies etc)
-Lead her, but do not be over bearing (like above, lets go here, lets do that not we're doing this and thats final)
-Be confident this includes good posture
-make eye contact
-Get some new cloths and a new hair cut, you want to look good and fresh. you want her to be thinking of new possibilities with you
-Joke around with her
-Be aloof, you should be doing things like going out with mates and having fun or whatever so she feels like when you does see her that time is precious

Dont:
-Dont bring up the relationship (atleast not now) if she does thats fine talk about it
-Dont act depressed, needy or insecure
-Never beg her to take you back or give it another shot
-Dontblame her for the break up or be angry etc...
-Never nag or bring up bad memories
-NO presents (cards,flowers,chocolates)
-NO constant contact (ideally you want her to be initiating contact with you)
-Under NO circumstances ask if shes seeing other guys if she mentions someone else say ''cool'' and change the subject. Do NOT ask about them or anything for 2 reasons
1)you'll fuck up all of the above if you start thinking about it (it might hurt but brush over it and dont let her see it get to you)
2) who cares you're better then any other guy hes not an issue

Good Luck
-Sheps

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Experiment? What do you mean by this exactly? She wanted to bring more people into it, go off on her own? You dont need to get graphic or too detailed but none of us can really grasp the situation and give any advice just based off this.

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A Tru nigga

Thanks for the advice sheps.

Allow me to explain Solteris, she wanted to mess around with other guys and experience a life of heavy partying. This is nothing like her cause shes a well-behaved girl so to speak. But her best friend influences her a lot to the point where shes turning her into a heavy drinker, and, well....a slut if things continue like this. I think she only wants to remain friends with me because of her best friend.

Anyway I can get rid of this third wheel? She was partly responsible for our break up.

It sounds like she's having the time of her life with her best friend. She parties, gets drunk, and "messes around with other guys." I don't think she'd be willing to go back to the way things were between the two of you. It sounds like she's moved on. I suggest you do the same.

Shep's has pretty solid advice on the characteristics that you need to reveal to her on your "date." I have nothing more to add.

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Grow a pair.

Well to be honest neither would I want to go to the way things were, at least for now. But I would want the spark to remain alive. I she moved on I wouldn't know, but she used to flirt with me on facebook after the breakup but I didn't reply back.

Crap so this means that I can never get her back? She wants a summer of "fun".

Well, if you leave her right now, you'll save yourself a lot of pain long-term. If she wants to have a summer of fun and you somehow persuade her to give you another shot, it's just headed for disaster and a lot of pain for you watching her getting hammered and enjoying herself with her friend and you never knowing if she can even remember if she cheated on you or not. Does this sentence make sense? Well, you know what I mean. You can maybe persuade her somehow to date you again, but if she wants something else, she'll end up breaking your heart completely. You did the right thing you broke up with her, leave it at that. Good luck!

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rAFC and yes, I'm a chick.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

dude you think she was perfect but let me just tell you one thing from your own words

her personality is malleable, if her feelings for you can be so easily warped by her friend then please PLEASE realise she was not so perfect, she didnt feel that strongly about you OR was too weak mentally (or else she would have told her friend to fuck off if she interfered)

i know it hurts because i am in the same boat, (about 2 months ago i broke up with my ex and its still killing me) but in your case its clearer that she isnt as good for you as you think. I hope you can see that im saying this to try and warn you and not to ''help you move on'' or because i think going out with an ex is a bad thing (which i dont necessarily)
However i stand by my advice above if you keep to that it'll give you a good shot at getting her back, just consider that she might not be so good for you

Good Luck
Sheps

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Very true. Don't get me wrong I know that shes anything but perfect. Bloody far from it. And its not onetitis cause I am seeing other girls but I would like the opportunity to see what we could have become.

So rather than date her in the summer I think I should keep the flame alive until the summer is over then see if she has had enough of her party life by august. Of course I'll be with other girls too but I don't want us to die out. I assume this advice is still compatible with this plan yes?

The flame died long before you dumped her.

If you were truly ready and able to pursue rekindling this or any other relationship, you wouldn't be seeking our validation to go ahead with your plans.

So I suggest you step back, look at the bigger picture and move on if you believe that is the right thing to do. You're sounding very one-itic at the moment though.

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My PUA Journey from AFC to PUA

regardless of the time scale the things i listed above still apply. just make sure you have more fun then her dude

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I totally agree with Sheps, same thing happy to me and I did the opposite and it end up horrible. We may never have a chance to be back. Right now We just trying to be just friend, it's tough, very tough especially if you have a strong feeling for her. My best advice is just be friend and be platonic as possible, don't stay in contact with her as often.