Quote:
My experience is certainly different from Mystery's but . . .
I've written "Taxi Driver" on my profile and this is what I tell some people when they ask, "What do you do?" . . . So I am guilty of lying. I suppose things were much easier when I was a student. "A student", is in most cases a universally understood, respected, and well accepted title. The stereotypes in the US might be a bit different but around the World, a "student" is hardworking, curious, excited to learn new things, and is usually strapped for cash. It's a great way to meet new people and also bargain your way towards cheaper lodgings. (I once bargained a 4 dollar a night bungalow to a 2 dollar super bargain.)
When you 'grow up' a bit, things can get a bit more complicated. (At least it did for me) There have been countless number of times when I traveled through some less affluent countries where I spotted some snot-nosed kid who proudly proclaimed to curious locals that he made $xxx,xxx. Sure, this could be the truth but what gives that kid the right to go to some far away country and make the locals feel small? Is it the locals' for not having the right mindset? They can't take the truth? Either way, sometimes when you tell the truth, you lose the potential for a connection.
Most people befriend those only who are in their socio-economic class Sure, there are physical limitations such as if one friend happens to be a trust fund baby and wants to go to London for a weekend and the other can't possibly afford the time or money . . . it ain't going to happen. But above the physical limitations exist boundaries created only by THOUGHT. This is about as immature as a bunch of 3rd graders belittling the poor kid whose parents can't afford a pair of Nike's. I don't see any reason to perpetuate this idiocy. Instead of blaming others for their lack of an open mind, I'd rather work with them(yes, I suppose you'd call this a lie) to create a connection first. And all it usually amounts to is a playful banter. You don't show ANYBODY "Spinal Tap" for the first time and tell them, "Hey guys! This is a total spoof! This isn't a REAL band, it's a joke!" . . .No, you tell them, "I'm excited that you get to see this Rocku-mentary for the first time. Really . . . the greatest band ever . . ." - and let them figure it out through laughter.
The other day I asked a fellow student what he got on an exam we had in class. He reluctantly answered "99" with a upward intonation and "heh...sorry" sort of expression. He knew that having such a high grade would alienate himself from most of the rest of the class. He didn't lie, but he wasn't snot-nosed about it, either. I think any reasonable person still wouldn't feel bad around him since he was clearly expressing that he didn't want to seem better than the rest of the students because of his 99. In fact, I found myself feeling a little sorry for him for having to feel somewhat shameful for being so "different." There were only two people in that class who got a 99 on this particular exam, and I was the other guy (lol) so I switched the frame by enthusiastically telling him and high-fiving him.
Even if you're on a different level - perhaps financially - from someone else, I still don't think lying is completely necessary to connect with them. Even if I didn't have a 99 on that exam, I wouldn't feel any less alienated by my friend's 99.