Need help with this chick. Shit test friendzoned?



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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 8:53 pm 
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Ok so first things first, I'm an AFC in recovery, discovered the PUA a few months back and so far Ive been able to work on my inner game and use a few routines to get a decent amount of girls.

I attend the university in my country, so I live in a dorm... last february we got a hb polish and finnish girls to stay in our dorm, they dont attend the university but they are red cross volunteers.
Since they arrived they had tons of AFC orbiters, the finnish hb fucks one from time to time, while the polish broke up with her fiance right before she arrived, but so far as I know she didnt had anyone else since then till now.
So the polish girl gives me a lot of IOI's since I'm the guy that is both mysterious and hard to get and doesnt kiss her ass like the others do.
So I go in for the kill and add her on facebook do my game and ask her out, she replied and I quote: "ok :D" but she couldnt do it that week since she was going to be busy with red cross stuff, and I know it was true...

So next week comes and I try to set up the date and she gives me lame excuses, I warn her that I will not be able to go out in a few weeks since I got exams so Im going out with or without her... I try to get her phone number, more lame excuses... so I freeze her out and start gaming other girls, which she can see by my facebook wall, some girls asking me out and saying they had a great time bla bla bla...

So she starts to spend some time where she knows I usually hang out, she even asks me if my exams started yet and I say "yes" and she says to at least show up at that place cause she will be there, in the middle of that she asked if I went to the student party with anyone cause she didnt saw me there, to which I reply "I was there with some friends."
She invited and the finish girl invited me to the party at their new place, I went there and she started acting weird, flirting with other guys... whenever she did that I just ignored and did my own thing, in the middle of the party she got pissed and said to me "I'm not a nice girl ..." totally out of the blue... then she went to have a girl talk with her friend. She comes back again and says she is going to get some cookies and offers me some to which I say yes, she went for the cookies and then she got pissed again saying that she didnt want cookies at all, and ran back to her room again to have a girl talk. All night same weird episodes of emo shit and jealousy plots.

So the next day comes and there she is, at the place where I usually hang, sitting there giving me puppy eyes, giving hints in the middle of the conversation like a woman needs to be touched and a guy there says she has some nice legs to which she replies that "at least someone notices".

So we got a lot of friends in common and a night we all go out, she shows up drunk, bashing on everything, we went to bar and she starts a scene with a friend of mine and even slaps him, I tell them both to stop it and she accuses me of taking his side and both go home.

So everything starts to go downhill from here, she starts to get more and more frustrated, specially with me so Ill just post some of the facebook messages we exchanged:

(2 days after the scene with my friend)

ME: Hey girl,
Just wanted to check how you are doing after that thing on friday... have you talked to yet?
I know where that came from, that slap was intended for me, because you like me... a lot... and you feel in pain, because I wasnt giving you any attention.
Well there's a reason for that, but I'm not going into it over the internet... but the most important part, is that not all is lost...
If you are the kind of woman that I think you might be, the only pain you should be worried about getting from me, are some sore muscles after we make some sweet and wild love. Take that Miss Fortune Teller (if you show her this message she will understand).
I just need to know if you are more than just another pretty face...
Just mend things with , I dont care how you do it, but if you do it I'll clear my schedule, take you out for a coffee and give you some answers... I wont take lame excuses again though.
And please I cant stress this enough, while I do understand that the bratty behavior is just a defense mechanism for the pain you've been feeling, that thing on friday, could had gotten out of proportion...
I know is the kind of guy that if he lost control back there, he would have hit you back, and I would TKO him in the spot, cause I cant stand by and watch a guy beat up a woman... and well, everything would just go downhill from there...
So yeah, you are piece of work... but those dreamy eyes look you give me sometimes... damn girl... I want that every moment that I'm with you... Just drop the jealousy plots, yes I can spot those miles away, and they are making me forget about your dreamy eyes.

Kisses,

HER:
Now that was a long,funny email :P:P
I appreciate your concern and attempt to make me smile,indeed I have been feeling shitty all weekend after that Friday thing. I haven´t spoken to , I am not at all mad at him,rather sad and a bit disappointed.He was like an older brother to me. Of course you are right,the thing was blown out of proportions and I admit it, I just have been the one to start the conversation for such a long time,that I am pretty worn out emotionally recently. should know that I am sensitive and had no bad intentions but well,what will be will be.
Sorry,you had to witness all that.But indeed you acted cool and I appreciate that.Things happen here differently for us,faster cause we have to make friends and live faster,but I still like being here.

See at the (place I usually hang):)
M


ME:
Girl who said anything about (place I usually hang)? You're like my mother, always trying to tell me what to do, in the end I always go and do my way :p:p
If you really want me to think about you as a woman opposed to well, my mom... let me just stop you right there.
The only thing that's happening at the (place I usually hang) is some serious ass whooping (theres some table soccer there that we both play), but hey if you beat me at it Ill give you a kiss, just one though... dont push it... oh and not today since I think I wont be able to be there.


So the day comes I'm there like always, she arrives, and starts being all flirting with everyone except me I keep my cool, but then she gazes at me with some serious look that she hates me, and keeps saying that she needs to go and takes her the finnish girl and goes away. So I drop the ball and sent her this message via facebook:

ME: Ok girl I'm growing tired of games, you treat me like crap and you expect me to treat you like a princess? Its not going to happen, you have to earn it...
Like just today you arrived you gave two kisses to and then just acted all cold with me, like I'm just a fucking doormat... and then you expect me to do what? pamper you for that? Might aswell get a knife and try to cut my balls off yourself.
If you want to talk about it you show up tonight and we go somewhere private, not the fucking where we can give a show to everyone... oh and this will be the last time ever I'll be willing to talk about this, so you better be there.

(Yeah I know total AFC there, even though my intention was to state that she must cut the crap or Im gonne, it came out wrong...)

HER: ,
I thought you were joking all this time but now you seem serious and not at all nice.
I don´t know where you got the idea of me being interested in you but I just like you as a friend and that is all.I don´t want or need anything from you.I just tend to be nice with people I like. I am as normal with you as with all the guys I am friends with.I don´t really analize who I kiss and not for hello cause it is not a big deal for me. Besides, I haven't promised you anything, and never gave you any hope, so there's no need for you to be a jerk. And no, I won't be there for talking, just to have fun with my friends, so if you are one of them stop the bullshit.

ME: I am so glad you said that! I've always thought you'd make a great friend, in fact and this will make you laugh I was kinda worried that you were looking for something more. And I dont think you are really my type... (actually took this line from this forum I think)

So know she still stops at the place we usually hang out, but I guess that talk about LJBF was all talk, cause she doesnt even say hello to me... oh and she posted this on her facebook: "I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good."

Any advice? Is it possible to recover from this? I think I didnt escalate kino enough and maybe needed to build some rapport aswell.

Oh and sorry for the long post


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:01 pm 
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She liked you, she still does at some level, but she's mad that you made everything all serious. You both know that the whole lets be friends thing was just an easy way out of having to talk about what you guys actually are, and if you catch her in the right mood at the right time you can easily escalate.

P.S> "I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold. I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good." Kid Cudi lyrics from the pursuit of happiness in the album Man on the Moon. Good fucking album. The post could still have held relevance to your situation, in which I would take it as an ioi for reasons i'm too lazy to type out.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:29 pm 
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Well first, the fact that she acts like she never knew you were interested in her is a lie, that in it self could be a shit test. She might have been trying to make you list actions or SOI's that you might have made in the past.

Who's the Alfa in your group?
Are you sure there wasn't something going on between her and the guy she slapped? Almost everytime I've seen a girl slap a guy it was because the guy hurt the girl emotionally.

Maybe she's just a flirty girl and you got some missed signals, from what you've said she's all over the place and probably doesn't even know what she wants.

When you attempted to freeze her out, did you wait for her to seek validation or did all she have to do was talk to you again?

It sounds like you were doing alright until you started reverting back to your old AFC ways. With showing too much frustration with the messages and all. Also I'm sure you know telling her that you would get in a fist fight with one of your friends for her was a mistake. 

I know you were gaming other girls but it seems you put more into gaming the HB Polish than any of the others. So much so that she noticed.
She knew she had the power over you when you started getting frustrated and angry. You might have failed her shit tests earlier on than we think..

My advice, unless you have to lay this particular HB (Which might indicate a case of Oneitis) you should move on. Chock it up to a lesson learned. Whatever you do please don't write her anymore messages. Wait for her to come to you if you choose to continue with this one. 

You seem like a cool guy, I'm sure whatever you decide to do will work out well.


Last edited by Akomplice on Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:30 pm 
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dudee, wtf? lol you didnt get this whole cocky funny thing right. Everything you said to her should be your way of thinking. You arent technically suppose to voice all that out.

extrmemly long inbox msgs on facebook aswell. Your messages should be short sweet an flirty. One sentence! two at the most if necessary. You wrote her full blown essays -__-'..

My best advice for you is to just leave her alone an see if she hits you up first.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 6:20 pm 
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Hey guys, thank you all for your replys and criticism, it will really help me to step up my game and improve.

Btw HB Polish just deleted me from facebook, and only me, it wasnt like a full house clean up... and the worst part is I havent done anything since the last time I posted.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 8:27 pm 
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By the way, any advice on how I should play it from here? since shes in my social circle. we have common friends etc...


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:48 am 
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Didn't she tell you at her party that she's "not a nice girl"? Where I come from, that loosely translates as, "fuck me." Why in the hell were you being so nice to her? That was your window to isolate her and escalate. Everything after that was a shit test.

Next


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:16 am 
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Well after she deleted me from fb I sent a message 3 days later to get some closure and stuff since I didnt live up to my standarts when I sent her that message, so I sent the following:

Hello! I just noticed that you deleted me, so I'm probably the last person you want to ear. I just want to briefly apologise for the messages I sent you earlier. I had a great friend comatose for a few weeks and he died that day. I guess that threw me out of balance and it shouldnt. I do take full responsibility for my words and actions and if you feel that cutting me off from your life is the best, then I think you should and I understand.

It was a pleasure and if anything else I'll see you on the other side.

Take care.




3 days later she replied:

Hey,

I appreciate your apology and accept it. I do think I deserved it.Not because I am a "princess", cause if you knew me at all you would also know I am far away from a posh personality like that. I am a normal girl that was just being nice with her collegue and in return received some disrespectful, psycho messages.

I do feel sorry about your friend and send my condolences.Life is horrible sometimes. I hope when time passes you will feel a little better.

I am not 6 years old so I don't intend to ignore you if I see you but these messages somehow influenced me in a negative way and I don't feel the need to be friends on facebook. I hope you understand.

I wish you all the best and see you around,



Well tbh I think she deleted me cause she was tired of seeing some spanish HB10 on my wall trying to set up dates with me when she comes here in August, not even gonna speak about the other girls. And she did qualified to me in that last message even after everything but it also came with another shit test (cause if you knew me at all) I do think theres some serious lack of comfort there, an area I need to improve alot in my game.

So heres the thing, what do you guys recomend to improve my comfort building game?

And since we are at it, I would really love to at least get this one laid, so what do you think I should reply to this one? I got a few ideas of my own, but I just wanted to check if someone had some better ones, otherwise I'm running with what I have.


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