@Tweeby.

Indeed Tweeby, I have this tendency to retreat back into AFC mode after achieving. I'll work on this self sabotage issue. I won't get anywhere if every time I succeed, I become lazy for one week.

Concerning what she told me, she was right. I don't share a lot about myself... but is it really a problem? I mean, I'm not her boyfriend. But on another hand, I've been like that all my life and it might be related to my AFC behavior... I'll think about it too.

@GrandMaster & HappySlip.

Thank you guys for following me. I'm glad you find some insights here.

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Meditation.
Ive been meditating on a daily basis for almost one week now. It really feels good to "empty" my mind. I realized though that I tend to forget that meditating is not only sitting for 5 to 10 minutes with the eyes closed, but it's also "getting rid" of negativity (and sometimes over positivity) in my everyday life. I want to be able to "observe" my thoughts as much as I can in order to be in the moment. I want to stop wasting my time, energy and confidence because of useless thoughts.

The Martini situation.
I was feeling really good yesterday and had a genius idea to have fun with some friends: "let's watch the Hangover Part II at the cinema with a bottle of Martini!". Fun idea on the paper... but in reality, most of the people were late... In the end, we were two drinking the bottle of Martini in the cinema. I've just felt the effect of the alcohol at the end of the movie. I've never been this drunk. I was in a really bad state. I went to the Mac Donald's to get some food and took the bus home where I spent some hours in the PUA chat. I regret this incident. I was unable to study for the exam I had the day after (which in the end went pretty well) and gave up in front of bad habits.

Doing my homework.
I've spent some time thinking about myself and my journey lately. I've spotted several recurrent traits I might want to change/observe in order to succeed in my journey. Thinking about all this is really hard for me (it brings some negative memories back) and I need some time to do so. In fact, some weeks earlier, I decided to write down every realization I had about myself on a paper so I don't forget them. The page was quickly filled and I am now trying to complete the puzzle. In addition, I've kept up taking notes in my notepad on Stormy's thread and read what I wrote about The Power of Now again.


I was really drunk last night... I don't want this to happen again.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

hey AFCDaniel,

I was new to this community and didn't know it exist... I was watching "Keys to VIP", when I stumble here and happen to reach upon your journal... I took me almost a week to finish reading the whole thread.

I salute you Daniel for the impressive ascending from scratch to what you are now. I say, you help me understand a lot. I was about to reply on every post I encountered but I waited until I reach the last page of it.

Keep it up....

-Ahoz

@ahoz.

Thank you. I'm glad you realized some things thanks to my journal. Don't hesitate to tell me more about it.

Keeping up!

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

University party.
I went to a university party yesterday night. Since I was really horny and quiet confident I was expecting some nice game from myself. It did not happen. I had some difficulties opening strangers. I drunk some alcohol to get me started but it was a bad decision again. I managed to open several sets. The first one was composed of 4 girls (two hot ones). They were drunk but we quickly get the conversation flowing. I was speaking to a little brunette while my Canadian non-single friend was speaking to a blond. The interaction was okay... but as I was going for the number close, she left and bring another friend to me. My target was not single and was trying to hook me up with her not so beautiful friend. At some point the blond girl asked me if I had a girlfriend like my Canadian friend. I told her no and ask the question back (not such a great game), told me she was not single. Anyways, I was glad I open a set. Later I opened another set but I was unable to do a proper transition to a conversation. I opened others but was stuck after the opener.

It's been a long time since I've been in a student party. I've lost my good reflexes:
- always try to get the conversation flowing after opening (even though they're not so cute!): it's good practice and gives you value and confidence.
- do not spend too much time with your friends!
- do not get drunk, get your vibe from social interactions...
- in case of chode mode, be social, meet people (guys, girls, whatever)

I confess I had some fun and that's what matters. Yet I was a bit frustrated about my Game... I still need to learn how to get back home happy even when you've not succeeded in gaming a girl (as wanted).

Doing my homework (part II)
I need a new plan in accordance to my "new" goal. I went to the park again to think about all this. I like going there, it's quiet and it feels good to go out instead of staying home. I'll post the "new" actions in a few days. I've also read Tolle's Power of Now and taken some notes about it. This will definitely give me some help in my journey. It's still hard to focus on my issues without feeling a bit down.

Keeping contact.
I've sent an email to British Girl since she wanted some tips for Buenos Aires and Rio de Janeiro. I'm trying to keep contact with her (but not in a needy way).

Coming next.
I have another party tonight. This time, it's gonna be better.
The birthday of my ex-girlfriend is next week.


I went to the park to enlighten myself... My mind was on fire. It' hard to think about my personal issues without feeling a bit down.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

DAY 64: fun and third kiss close.
"Can I kiss him?".

[The night has been long. If you do not enjoy reading long field report, read directly the "nightclub" part.]

Context.
I went to a student party Friday night. Since I was horny and quite confident I expected some nice Game but it was not the case unfortunately. Yet I had some fun and learned some lessons out of the experience. I planned to go to another party yesterday night.

Addressed issues.
- I have difficulties to open total strangers and escalate with them. (LACK OF EXPERIENCE)
- I got better in social situation, but there is still a big room for improvement. (LACK OF EXPERIENCE)
- My "good" state is killed but stupid random stuff sometimes. (LACK OF CONSISTENCY)

Goals.
- Have fun!
- Be dominant.
- Open and # close at least one girl.

Strategy.
I read 60yoc's material and did some meditation before going there. Since I was still pretty tired because of the party yesterday night, I took 45 minutes to sleep before going to the party.
____________________________________________________________________

About the party.
It's was a Pub Crawl. We went through 3 different bars and to a club. I like this kind of party since it allows me to meet people, speak to them and then escalate with the targets in a night club environment. On another note, I knew most of the people there which gives me a pretty nice high-value. It also allowed me to know everybody indirectly... meaning that all the people that I don't know would at least know someone I know.

First bar: reconnecting with Princess.
I went there and met my friends. I quickly end up speaking with Princess (the French girl that I was unable to kiss in a three hours date... LOL). We spoke about random stuff and she was giving me a lot of attention. I actually like to speak with her and I though the Pub Crawl was a good opportunity to escalate.

The French Natural was there too. Last time, we did a little game: the one who was in the most photos wins. This time, the game was about getting girls. I accepted since it's not really serious... It was just to have fun. In the end, it actually motivated me a bit more. The French natural and my Portuguese friend were playing.

Second bar: warming up.
Princess spoke with me all along the way to the second bar. She told me how guys approached her in Brazil, bla bla basically doing what she usually does... playing the Princess part. I stayed dominant, looked around while she was talking to me, and maintained eye-contact when I was speaking. I did a lot of KINO as well. At some point, she started to tell me stuff about herself (out of nowhere) like how she did not use to make out like that.... I said: "ow that's cute, you're confessing me stuff" and hugged her. Since the topic was relationship I indirectly asked her if she had already had ONS.

I was even more dominant in the second bar... I was the life of the party and had some great fun. I was still trying to figure things out with Princess. At some point she told me she was pictures of me and British Girl... I did not really react to that. Then she told me: "can I ask you something?". She asked me about German Girl... If I kissed her and what was going on. Told her I did, I wanted to have fun but I was not looking for a girlfriend. "Are you jealous?"... She avoided the question with humor.

I left her alone after and went to see the French natural. There were a lot of girls around us and he wanted to open them. He noticed that I was drinking a strawberry Caipirinha and asked me how to say strawberry in English. I knew the answer but the opportunity was too good... I open a set of 4 girls to ask them. We got the answer and he followed through with some conversation. We ejected in the end since they were not that attractive... but still, I was warming up. I was actually impressed how we gamed well together for once.

Third bar: things getting complicated.
The third bar was actually pretty cool. I took Princess upstairs to take a look at the place. I was alone with her... time for furious escalation... but it did not happen... I did nothing. Later, another French guy (let's call him French Customer) that I know started to speak with her. Since I wanted to have fun I let him with her... I knew he had a girlfriend back in France waiting for him to come back. He was planning to live with her.

Back downstairs, I saw the Portuguese kissing a common friend... Some minutes later, the Natural French was making out... I was the only one having no results at all... I did not really care about it, yet it made me think about my difficulty to open strangers. I was unable to do so...

Princess came downstairs with the French Customer. He was sticking with her. At some point, Princess came back to me, hold my hand for a second. After the interaction, he quickly tried to prevent us to speak to one each other. Truth is, I think Princess was also gaming me, trying to make me jealous or something but I did not seem to care at all. Later she came to me playing the whole "he's following me everywhere" speech... LOL. She gotta be liking me but I'm a bit clueless here. Let's see what happens in the nightclub.

Night club: kiss closing Brazilian Brunette .
As you can see, I've not kissed Princess but a little HB7 Brazilian Brunette I've met thanks to my Portuguese friend. She was right outside the third bar and was talking to my friend. I joined the conversation and end-up alone with her. We spoke about random stuff. She quickly asked me to translate sentences in French so she could learn. More surprising, she actually speaks German really well so we started to speak German... lol. In our way to the club, I grabbed her hand to guide her through a crowd of people in front of a bar. I think that was a key element in the escalation.

We arrived at the club and were in the line to enter. I was close to her, she was holding my hand. At some point I just went for it... I could not resist anyway, I had been speaking to her so closely... I kissed her, and actually liked it. We spent the the night at the club together, dancing, making out and more... Key elements:
- She liked to bite my lips.
- We danced together on electronic music but also on Brazilian funk (really hot dance, I was definitely turned on): she was literally rubbing my cock with her ass.
- She asked me if she could kiss my Portuguese friend (LOL?!), I said "sure, you're free to do what you want". She kissed him. I was proud of being such open. She told me some minutes later that I was a better kisser (Yeah baby!).
- I # closed her while she smoked a cigarette: "I don't even have your number".
- I was escalating a lot... trying to put my hands in her pants...
- I felt a pad while I was putting my hands on her ass. I guess she was on her period.
- I kissed/bit her neck, she went wild and crazy.
- She started to caress my penis through my jeans... she put her hand in my short right after and began to jack me off. Since it was in the middle of the club and she had no wriggle room to do it she stopped.
- I looked right into her eyes and said: "I wanna stay with you tonight", she replied "I cannot"... I stared at her for a few seconds and asked "why?". She did not say anything. The answer was obvious though.
- I asked her some information: where and when she works, live... We live really near. She asked me what I was doing tomorrow, I got a date out of it. We agreed on meeting each other to have a pique-nique together.

I finally left the club... but I did not go home. I went to another kind of club... a brothel. Report coming later.

Results: I had fun, # closed, kiss closed and agreed on a date with a Brazilian Brunette. She even started to jack me off... (I can't even believe it)

____________________________________________________________________

On the strategy.
60yoc is definitely a good read, but it demands a lot of balls to just grab a total stranger and make out with her. Here, the fact that my target was a friend of a friend helped a lot, especially to open. Concerning the escalation, it went all good. Holding hands and biting her neck were turning points. I went for the SNL as usual: by being direct. Seeding the event was really easy since she was the one who asked me what I was doing tomorrow.

On the Game.
- Holding her hand while walking is a major turning point in escalation.
- The strong eye-contact was gold here.
- Opening friends of friends is so much easier!
- I'm good at escalating from the kiss close to the f close but pretty bad at kiss closing (I could do it way faster but I'm lacking the balls to do so).

Coming next.
- Report on the last part of my night: the brothel.
- Report on my first date with Brazilian Brunette.
- Reflection on my journey.


I really enjoyed being the life of the party.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Whew! Finally got all caught up.

I know I'm the hundredth person to say this, but reading this really has been inspiring. I'm going to check out Power of Now and 60 yoc, since they've seemed to help you so much.

It seems like you were stuck in a rut for a while before you finally had your first breakthrough (the kiss closes and f-close). I'm hoping that's the case with me. It's hard to tell if you're making progress or not, until you see the results.

I'm thinking I should borrow your format...my posts seem to lack focus. Being broke is such a killer, though! I mentioned poker in another thread, and that was my source of income, until the recent US legislation. Still have yet to get my money off the site.

Anyway...too much about me. Keep it up, man. I'll be reading in real time now.

Quick Update.

The following small report is about what happened after I left the night club Saturday night.

The Brothel.
Brazilian Brunette was leaving. Most of my friends had already left the club for a "puteiro" just next to the club. I joined them as planned. The idea was to go there with all the exchange student and have some fun. I thought the place was kind of a strip club where you can eventually pay a girl to have sex with... It was actually way creepier than expected.

As I came into the brothel, I noticed it was not a regular strip-club... Porn was on all the TVs and some ladies (almost naked) were speaking to guys. I joined my friends... Actually it was pretty funny since we came in there with a lot of girls from the university... We were in the middle of a brothel full with old single guys with a bunch of girls dancing, screaming, having fun. At some point, my Mexican friend introduced me to one of the ladies... She was in bikini and started to talk with. She grabbed my balls through my jeans and told me I had a huge dick... whaaaaaat?? lol, I was a bit shocked. Told her I was just here to "watch". Later, a guy and a girl went on stage to perform a special show... I could not believe it.. They were basically fucking in front of everyone... That was not exciting for me at all, but the audience seemed to like it... They were insulting the girl and giving her the finger while she was getting fucked by the other performer... I've never seen this. I confess it was fun to be there but it's definitely not the kind of place I like.

The French Customer's story.
It was around 5am when I decide to leave by myself. I was tired. I say goodbye to my friends and was on the line for what I thought was the exit. The French Customer (the guy from last report) was in the line with a prostitute. He was KINOing her and all... I thought he wanted to have some fun before leaving. Maybe it was actually a strategy from the hookers to convince the men to stay in the brothel. I asked him to be sure it was the line to get out of the place. He was drunk, I did not get what he said. Some girls were coming at me and asking me if I just wanted to watch and I say yes. Actually, it was not the line to exit the club but the line to pay for a prostitute...

I don't know the French customer really well. I've met him a few weeks ago. He's nice. He talked with me about the fact that he was planning to live with her girlfriend when he'll go back in France. Some weeks later, here he was, trying to game Princess and paying a prostitute to have sex with him. I guess her girlfriend broke up with him... He was not handling it very well.

Anyways, I left the brothel and took the bus home.

Coming next.
Report on my date with Brazilian Brunette.
Reflections on my journey.


The brothel was one of the most creepiest/strangest place I've ever been... definitely not my thing.

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Well I'm not gonna say anything because I lost my V card to a hooker. Something I'm not proud of but the girl was nice and it was a pleasant experience. (See my journal)


Funny thing is she seemed like a regular girl I could have known in my social network of friends. When I chatted to her she liked all the things a 23 year old girl would have. -Music and hanging out with her friends.

I asked her if she could do anything in the world, what would it be. She she what she was doing now, but I could sense an cover up in her voice.

It wasn't until almost a year after, that the true horror of doing what I did hit me. Feelings of despair, all eyes watching you... Guilt/paranoia. I think about how I contributed to that young girl's life of what must be torment. Having to sleep with random guys. Fucked. I promised myself I would never do it again.

It's the dark side which I have to live with everyday. It's a good thing you didn't do anything Daniel, because when you see others doing it, it kinda de-sensitizes the whole thing. It's very wrong and no way to be treating women like objects of sexual gratification. Which is what I did...

The worst thing was I went to visit hookers with a friend who was wrestling with his sexuality. I never knew this at the time. So when he started to act out back home and did things true to how he probably actually feels about guys I got lumped in the same boat because I was staying at his house.

Now I have to justify my sexuality to my friends... Hmmm maybe it is some kinda cruel payback from the universe for objectifying women in that way?

Just thought I'd share. Nice progress with your life. Things seem to be working out quite nicely.

_________________
*Justice renders the WEAK his due*
My Journal
here-vp445642.html#445642

@Tweeby.

Thanks for sharing this story Tweeby. I went there to have fun with my friends, I would never pay to have sex in such a place for all the reason you mentioned and even more.

Yet, don't be so hard on yourself. As you wrote in a previous post, it's all about having a plan and sticking to it. Leave that behind.

I have this habit too... to beat myself up for stupid things that happened before. It might be one of the reasons why I have these AFC cycles...

Daniel..

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's a small update about the date with Brazilian Brunette.

First real date in Brazil.
I've sent a text her Sunday morning to confirm what we planned the night before. We've met at the supermarket right next to my house... I kissed her. We've bought some food and went to the park in her car. We found and spot and stayed there. Key elements:
- I focused on being cocky & funny, she laughed a lot.
- We spoke about ourselves and got to know each other better.
- She asked me if I mind if she smokes. I said no (ewww). She seemed really concerned about my opinion on this.
- I asked her if I was the first French she kissed, she told me no. I was a bit surprised I confess.
- She saw a trace in my neck and she asked me who did it... (shit test?) I told her she did.
- At some point she told me how stupid she felt now for asking me if she could kiss my Portuguese friend. I was happy about that actually. I think she realized it was silly to "jeopardize" the situation with me (= an awesome guy, lol)
- I told her that Brazilians kiss differently, she asked me how many girls I've kissed... I refused to answer (which was stupid)
- Just before leaving, I froze and looked at her... She was like "what?". I kissed her... She smiled. That's silly but she loved it I think.

About Brazilian Brunette.
She's not the girl friend material I'm looking for but I guess it would be nice to have her around. I need to manage expectations though...

Questions to move on.
- Should I take her to "traditional" dates (bad management of expectations?) or keep it as "casual" as possible (not seeing her a lot and escalating quickly)?
- I'm having more success in night game than in day game, yet I think I have more chance to meet girlfriend material during the day... Is day game harder than night game? Or is this just me pussying around in day game?


She drove me to the park for our first "date"...

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Quick Update.

Here's a quick update about what happened on Wednesday and Thursday.

Writing to my ex.
It was my ex's birthday Wednesday so I wrote a small email. I was not inspired at all, I've thought about it for 30 to 45 minutes... but finally sent a 2 lines email. She thanked me later and apologized for not answering my last mail. It was the right thing to do, but it stills brings some mixed feelings in me... I can't deny it.

Second date with Brazilian Brunette.
I had a nice surprise yesterday night... I received a text from Brazilian Brunette:
I could not let this opportunity pass so I sent her a message and told her to meet me at the shopping mall next to my house so we could eat together. We went there and had our date. I was not showing good game strangely... I was not really confident or dominant but I made her laugh a lot. I was a bit confused about the fact that she was holding my hand like we were a couple... Was I managing the expectation wrong? It's not like she doesn't know that I'm going back to France in one month and 7 days... Anyways, we had a nice date... but I'd like to escalate quickly to sex. Yes, I'm starting to like her... after only 2 dates. I'm so needy... I've not flipped the script... I'm the one that goes for the kiss...

Questions to move on.
- Holding hands, hugging, dating, ... yet, I'm not looking for an (exclusive) girlfriend... Am I managing her expectations wrong?
- How come I'm already liking her that much? Am I this needy or insecure?


I was not at my best level during that date...

_________________
On the Road to Manhood, my new learning journal: http://bit.ly/TEVapM
(My old learning journal http://bit.ly/eYRWL4)

Hey Daniel, I like your FRs it looks like you're having some nice progress.
A quick advice if I may, you need to get things to bed with Brazilian real quick now. You made a mistake by not inviting her to your place for a movie when she sent you .
Damn it was perfect lol. One last thing, I think that you should tell her the truth: something like "If anything happens, I want you to know that I'm not looking for a relationship". It really works like a charm and I think that in your case it's gonna speed it up. Don't text it, just invite her to your place and say it, if she looks at you with her face saying "whaat?" you've done it right, go in for the kiss after 5 seconds. And you'll be able to escalate quickly.
Good luck!

Daniel!

I disagree with Frixion. I would not tell a girl "If anything happens, I want you to know I don't want a relationship", just my personal opinion. YOU SHOULD HAVE INVITED HER TO YOUR PLACE tho, inviting a women to your place after a txt like that is practically a free pass. You don't NEED to say anything, your obviously not looking to get a relationship out of a meeting at your place after a "keep me warm" txt.

On the other hand, inviting her to meet you for food and holding hands, yeah, you might be looking for a relationship.

It is all about your actions. That is what sets the frame for your mid game. Going out for food at the mall is setting you up to be less sexual or candid. Inviting her somewhere private, where the possibility of fooling around is very real and can happen at any second is going to give you the oppourtunity to avoid "trying" to escalate, becaue the pre text is much more sexual in nature, the escalation is assumed and the dial is turned higher faster.

Inviting a girl over to my place to "watch a movie" usually entails grabbing a bottle of wine, hugging her and telling her "she looks great tonight" when she arrives and demanding her foot 10 minutes into the movie for a "massage" that works its way up her leg. I hardly need to be charming or put myself in a "social mode", I am in close proximity of her person in a private place and she is the one who wanted to come over. Hook, line and sinker.

If you have to go be social, and you feel yourself "gaming badly" try this. IGNORE HER, talk to other people in a friendly manner (as if you do it all the time) and see if she tries to regain your attention. If she Grabs you, acts very interested in what you and the stranger are talking about or any other sign that she NEEDS your attention, your uncertainty of her desire for you washes away and you realize, you got this and BAM, game on.

Keep up the journalling Daniel, we are all listening. I havnt read any posts pertaining to working out, it will help your game. It is good you are getting over your ex, but you seem to uncalibrate yourself while doing it. 45 minutes to stew on 2 lines of reply negates the fact that you only replied with 2 lines. Yes, the message shows you are less interested, but your actions imply that this is not the case. At this point, talking to your ex in this fashion is a focus inwards of bad energy, you are "stewing" on it and getting nothing but reaffirmation that things are over from the other end. When the two line reply comes to you naturally, it is time to start focusing on this personal relationship with her. Otherwise you are just stoking a fire that will burn only you.

good luck!!

Managing expectations isn't easy. Having someone fall for you when you don't like them as a direct resualt of your misleading actions will make you feel kind of shitty...With that said, yeah, it happens, and it works. It is part of the game and so be it.

You ARE needy, of course. We are ALL needy, that is what this is all about. You become a man when you need only the truths in life, not the fluff. needing a women whom you love and want to mother your children is the right kind of needy, needing a girl from the mall who smiles and flirts with you casually is the worng kind. Needing a 77 vette with candy paint and restored interior because it has been your favoirite car since you were 8 vs. needing it cause you saw a loser with a hot girlfriend driving in one. That may be a bit ambigious, but you'll see what I mean as you become more confident with who you are. Just deal with the needyness. Know your brain and pre programming are trying on all levels to get you to make children with all women. Irrational thoughts and feelings of needyness when there is no emotional intimacy involved yet are actions of your physical being, not your heart or soul. Women get this bad. Right away they feel they need you, they hardly even know you. It helps to rationalize FOR them as the issue pops up, let them know you would consider an intimate meaningful relationship with someone you KNEW, and that is what you are trying to do with all this sex and dating, getting to know people and making an educated decision. This attitude will go a long way if you can project it without too much of a sarcastic smirk on your face, both internally and externally.