Disability?



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 Post subject: Disability?
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:20 pm 
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Hi I'm a 23 year old male from the UK. I'm a student, good looking, shaved head, goes to bars/nightclubs, surf, wears fashionable clothing (always check weekly), I work out at the gym regularly and I have many friends and I'm a member of many societies at uni.

I have a major problem that's getting me down.
I've been single for 5 years, not out of choice..but because I'm deaf (but I can speak) and short (5ft 5").

I've read both the "The rules of the game" and "Seduction". Read them countless times, tried to apply them, but keep getting rejections and laughs from women. They tend to stare at my hearing aids, or ask me where I'm from (due to my lack of accent due to my deafness), or I get jibes about my height.
I know it's all about confidence but how can you be confident where 99% of the lads in the bar are taller than you and you are the only one who's deaf. To top it off, they can't understand me due to my voice.

I have no idea how to get myself out of this rut.


Last edited by superunknown88 on Mon May 30, 2011 12:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 12:49 pm 
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itll be tough I think for some of us to post on this, since we really dont know how much it would affect our game, its hard to relate too maybe.

first, if you are gaming at night, you could really get good at clubs and places that are really loud and require dancing or more physical game.

as well, daygame could be pretty good, women tend to not be as bitchy during the day... and if you are in good shape and sociable, have decent game, Im pretty sure you could easily snag some 7's and 8's and above for day 2's... and of course fully close them


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 3:48 pm 
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when theres an elephant in the room, INTRODUCE HIM!

when a girl stares at your hearing aids say something like ''ye im deaf, they're hearing aids, dont worry thats the only aids i have'' *wink*
or ''do you like my earings, fasionable aint they'' *cheeky smile*
or pretend to flick them on and make a joke about not having to listen to her

(make a joke you might get a laugh and you'll be able to move the conversation on quickly)

well thats what i'd do make it obvious that you dont care and its who you are, or atleast maybe give it a shot if everything else hasnt worked why not try something new...

hope i helped mate, good luck with it :)

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 5:09 pm 
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superunknown88, the disability might lower your confidence and put you down at times, my cousin went through something similar. He lacked confidence, was antisocial for a large part of his life and didn't know anything about PUA (as this wasn't very popular then) but as he grew older he became confident in himself and accepted it as a part of who he was. He has been happily married for several years now and his wife is ... hot...

You're height shouldn't be an issue (it's been said many times in this forum, and it's true, I witness it day in and day out with 2 of my friends)

Also, sheps gave a good suggestion, attempt to use the aid to your advantage.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 6:22 pm 
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Hey thanks for the replies!
The major issue is the communication bit.
Women (who don't know me) never seem to understand what I'm saying which leads to further embarrassment. if I tell them about my hearing loss, they laugh and walk off or take the mick.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 6:47 pm 
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Quote:
Hey thanks for the replies!
The major issue is the communication bit.
Women (who don't know me) never seem to understand what I'm saying which leads to further embarrassment. if I tell them about my hearing loss, they laugh and walk off or take the mick.
if they take the mick just roll with it they're still in the conversation so you can work with it.
im not saying you should change who you are but maybe see a speech therapist i know the problem isnt with your mouth and language skills its not being able to hear how you sound but if you can memorise speech patterns that sound ''regular'' maybe you'll be more understandable and your hearing wont cause such a problem (thats a shot in the dark i have NO idea if that will work)
or elecution lessons (not sure if spelled that right)

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 6:55 pm 
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I'm afraid I'm stuck on this one. Had years of speech therapy and they say it's very good and is as good as it can get.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 7:38 pm 
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i dont know how hearing aids work but would getting a more powerful one help?
or
would it be possible to take talking completely out of the equation, maybe try picking up girls at nightclubs where theres almost no ability to hear so you use non-verbal game ...id assume you're pretty good at reading lips? so this might be an advantage for you
hmm let me think ...
you could try pretending you dont speak english and use a phone ''text translator'' (just texting out what you want to say to the girl) until shes hooked and you can be honest with her

this is tough i'll be honest.

Maybe find yourself a deaf hottie she'll not make a big deal of your hearing?

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 8:01 pm 
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There was a guy that used to be a regular at a club I used to work at who had prosthetic ears and wore 2 very visible hearing aids. I lost count of the amount of girls I saw this guy kissing. He never had a problem....and why?

As shep said "If there's an elephant in the room introduce it".

Girls may be scared to chat to you incase they find themselves offending you about your hearing. If you're light-hearted about it it'll open the door for them to feel more comfortable.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 8:21 pm 
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Women (who don't know me) never seem to understand what I'm saying which leads to further embarrassment. if I tell them about my hearing loss, they laugh and walk off or take the mick.
woman can be rude .. if they are rude just say fuck you and walk away.

if they are laughing and walking off they aren't girlfriend material. Girls who are understanding and nice are the ones you want. pretend like it's a filter....

a hearing problem can be a blessing ... the stupid bullshit woman and girlfriends with shit coming out of their mouths ... at least you don't hear their bullshit.

don't communicate with girls .. just pull them in your reality. you lead ...
regarding your voice ... it would be a good idea to work with someone who can help you .. a voice-therapist or something.

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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 9:51 pm 
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I can't get a voice therapist because they say it's as good as it can get and they can't do any more. I've had years of speech therapy. It's fairly good, but to a stranger...can be hard at times to understand.

I'm 23 years old, been going out every week since I was 17. I've had no luck with women because of it. I'm either quickly rejected or quickly put in the 'friend zone'.

It can be a filter...but so far...it's filtered out every potential woman.


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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2011 10:15 pm 
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look into your local deaf community. theres bound to be one.


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 9:26 am 
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i guarantee there are hot deaf chicks or if not, a deaf kid with a hot sister who'll be used to the situation.

dont wear yourself down going out constantly looking for women you'll find one so just enjoy your life.
HOLD UP!!!! have any of us suggested dating websites yet or are we ALL that stupid? ooh the shame of it!

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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 11:59 am 
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actually i once talked to a girl and gamed her..... 30 minutes later when we moved to a less noisy place she said she couldn't hear half i was saying because of the loud music.
interesting ....

dance game isn't much about being verbal either... try to use your current situation to your advantage ... maybe dance game is a perfect type of game to master. i've seen guys dance and K-close girls on the dancefloor without talking much...

you need to find a type of game which you are comfortable and confident with.

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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 1:23 pm 
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Alright mate,

I just wanted to wish you all the best in your gaming exploits! I have a disability too, albeit a very different one to your own (Cerebral Palsy). I too consider myself to be sociable, fun, outgoing & reasonably good looking. I have a good social life & social circle. However, whilst I know very little about your particular disability, I can empathise and understand where you're coming from with regard to being "friend zoned" often. Even though we're fun, confident and have plenty of what I will term desirable qualities and attributes, sometimes girls (and people in general) are either afraid to embrace other people's problems, or are just nasty & ridicule them, primarily out of fear and/or ignorance.

In a nutshell, I understand where you're coming from (at least in part). Just stay positive, keep gaming and eventually you will find girls that are great for you & you will reap the rewards!

Good luck!

An Englishman in France.


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